40 And Fab Not Flab

New Blog, New Beginning~

2011-01-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

I started a new blog.. It's Called: "My Life's Metamorphosis"..
please join me there!

http://mylifesmetamorphosis.blogspot.com/

2010-08-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

Some amazing art photo work (like on the left here!) can be found at BomoBob's etsy shop here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/bomobob?ref=seller_info

WELL today has been sort of “iffy” as far as low carb. I HAVE stayed “low carb” today but I had decided no cheese and had cheese for breakfast!

I am not sure what happened but before I knew it I was munching on some smoked sharp cheddar I had picked up for the genius I married’s lunches this week.

I LOVE cheese.. adore it so much and was going to abstain because I want to sort of do LC “anti-candida” style for a while and that means no cheese or mushrooms or wine (and a few other things that normal low carbers CAN have) for a while.

Anyway I slipped but I am not concerned, I will still come in under my 20-30 grams of carbs for the day.

I got a deli roasted whole chicken (quick and easy) – a nice way to ease myself into all the cooking that has to take place to do low carb WELL. I am making asparagus to go with. Simple foods for me for a while. I got too enamored of my food and cooked too many fancy recipes when doing low carb in the past. This really stalled my weight loss because YES calories do count.. they just happen to count a little less on low carb than a normal counting calorie diet. I really want to keep it very simple and eat to live.. not live to eat you know so my meals will pretty much just be meat and veggies and nice salads with homemade dressings.

Speaking of dressings I wanted to share my fav. one right now.
It’s a Japanese style ginger dressing sort of like you would get on your house salad at a Japanese sushi restaurant:

Low Carb Ginger Dressing (also works as a great marinate)

Grated orange rind or a few drops Boyajian tangerine oil
Soy sauce - small amount
Ginger (fresh grated.. lots)
Celery (fresh grated, a bit)
1 stalk green onion chopped fine (only a bit of the green – too much is bitter)
Rice vinegar
SF apple flavor crystal lite (a bit for a touch of sweet)
Sesame oil (just 2-3 drops more and it gets bitter)

Water as needed

As you can see I don’t give amounts because I have never measured, I just make it to taste. There is no oil but you could add some if you wish. I make it stronger for a marinate. It’s such a nice fresh flavor!

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Will be glad with ketosis kicks in!! Loves the lack of appetite I get.

I need to set a weight loss goal. I think I will shoot for 8# in the next 6 weeks. That’s a good goal for someone like me that loses pretty slowly!

Oh did you know that Greek women munch on fennel seeds to help with weight loss? “Fennel seeds-greek for "to grow thin. Is known to help metabolize fat”

I have seen a few Indian restaurants that have small bowls of seeds by a table as you leave (sort of like we have mints in our American restaurants). It’s interesting. I have some in the freezer. I like them but I love licorice. I think I will have a few thru the day…

I am going to start posting my previous days carbs and calorie counts each day. My official weigh in day is Monday (keeps me real thru the weekend) so I will list my pounds lost on Mondays.

Yesterday's counts were 25 carbs and 1700 calories. I of course am not in ketosis yet.. it usually takes me 3-4 days.

Well my dears, Cheers to Atkin’s Induction - Day two. Oh and I lost a half pound overnight!

Monday.. I LOVE Mondays.

2010-08-02T04:20:00.001-07:00

Well my friends, today I am back to my old fav. Low Carb. (I usually do Atkins with extra veggies and start with 30 grams of carbs a day - this will take me into ketosis, I know from experience I don't have to go to below 20 carbs IF my carbs are from mostly veggies. I ALSO know from experience that I don't lose well on Atkins IF I don't watch my calories. I can eat WAY too many cheese and nuts so for right now, they will be off my plate.

A NOTE to anyone just starting out on Atkins. I recommend doing the program by the book for several weeks (to months) to really get to see how it works. I know Atkins (New Diet Revolution) very well and have done it on and off for years. I know from experience what works the BEST (more veggies a little less fat) for me but certainly gave the program 100% for quite a while before I started tweaking. PLEASE do the same. READ the book. It can change your life even if you are NOT overweight.

OK, so I am doing VERY good weight loss wise lately with my counting calories so now I will be combining both calorie counting and carb counting. It sounds daunting but actually I know the carbs in just about any REAL (not packaged) food without even looking it up so it's EASY for me.

This morning I was up a pound but only had 1400 calories yesterday so I a didn’t actually GAIN. I am supposed to start my period on Wed. so I am retaining water... This actually does not bother me in the least.. to the contrary, I love how my body is predictable about this. Like clockwork.

I woke in the middle of the night with this old itching (the start up of eczema) on my way lower back and the front of one of my shins. It's been around for years, I think it is caused by blood sugar (maybe Candida related?) or a food allergy but every time I go on LC for a while, it disappears.

So I am going back to my Low Carb diet for at least 2 months. That will put me in October. Then I will see about starting back on a normal calorie counting diet for rolling thru the holidays. It's easier for me.

I don’t expect to lost 10# right off the bat with induction this time because I am sure my glycogen stores are already fairly low simply because I have been dieting.

I AM going to count freaking both carbs and calories damn it.. I am doing too good with low cal. It should be easy to stay low cal because I don’t get extremely hungry on low carb.

I always come back to LC. It’s such a great way of life for me. The energy I get is incredible BUT it takes a couple of weeks for my body to adjust and in that time my energy is NIL.

I am excited actually..
Having a couple of soft boiled eggs with butter for breakfast! My fav. LC way to make eggs. I will make Patrick scrambled with cheese (I will be staying away from cheese for the first month).

I want to find some good turkey ham to go with.

One thing NOT good lately is I am back to drinking Diet Cokes. My nemesis, well I quit smoking so it's my last vice left. I had quiet Diet Coke for quite a long time...

Love you my LC peeps!

XOXO

Nice Peaceful Sunday Morning...

2010-08-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

I really am doing well, this last week was near perfect. It is a rewarding feeling and has not been all easy.

It is getting difficult the last couple of days. I am three days out from my period.. or in three days it SHOULD be the day I start. I am wondering if I am going to have a normal cycle now that I am off Low Carb for over a month. I really would like it to come back to normal. Low Carb screwed with my cycle. or at least I THINK it was LC. Will see soon enough.

Last night was pretty hard. I wanted to munch… I was truly not hungry but I just wanted to FILL. I had pigged out (well ate lots, maybe not a pig out, calorie wise because the total for the day was only 1800) on Sushi the night before last and knew I had to get motivated again, it's difficult at night and the last couple of days have been remarkably harder.. I am thinking it has to be hormonal. I just have to be ready for days (nights actually) like this. I have to stay motivated and be prepared with good mental thoughts - I have an "emergency" text doc. I made just for these times (wish I knew more about building a blog.. would add it as another page here if I knew how!.

I did fantastic on calories yesterday. This morning I woke up feeling the best (emotionally) that I have in a while. I have a glimmer again of the fact that I AM IN control of my weight.

If I want this enough, I actually know now that I can do this. I felt it. An interesting feeling/thought flashed thru my mind quickly as I was getting off the scale this morning.

A feeling of just knowing. I don’t know how else to describe it.. but I know I am going to do this. It was a certainty I felt almost felt like a thought from my future self, sending me a message... sounds strange I know but thats what it felt like.

Right on!

2010-07-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well…

I am down another pound. Freaking YES! I actually can’t believe it. I have been eating around 1600 cal a day the last three days. Of course I still need to lose a million pounds (Ok.. you have not SEEN my arse!) but I am over the moon happy.

It seems that lately I am wanting to cut back more and more. I go thru these phases. I have learned from my past though and know not to push myself TOO far. Something about the success of late seems to niggle at me to cut back more.. just cut back more. I know this is dangerous thinking. I have been here before. It’s hard though. I am so damn tired of this FAT.

Last night I made a beef tenderloin. I seared it on the outside and then roasted it on 375 for only 18 min. (I like my beef med. Rare). It was SO good! It was only 150 calories for 4oz. I ate 7 ounces! I only made a simple veggie salad to go with so my dinner was only 350 but it was so good.

I LOVE a good fresh salad. I got some nice romaine and a good Vidalia onion and tomato and cucumber also. It was a nice large salad. I added this Old Cape Cod ginger dressing to go with (found it at Walmart – I hate Walmart but that’s a different post!). Anyway I love ginger, I have a recipe somewhere I came up with when I was doing a counting calorie diet in the past. It’s got fresh ginger, grated celery, a sprinkle of apple flavor crystal lite and some other stuff.. it’s a GREAT really fresh dressing. I need to find that recipe.

Feeling really, really good about myself today. Tiffany, I will be over to check out your confessions part on your blog! That sounds FUN!

Not much more to say today. Here are a few more motivational pix from my personal collection (all body styles that are hourglass NOT rail thin!):

XOXO my lovelies!

Fasted Yesterday...

2010-07-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

... and I am down a pound and a half this morning. I had noticed I didn't even get hungry yesterday until after 3pm and decided to just make it a fasting day. I have found lately that at certain times in my cycle I can do this more easily. It sort of came naturally yesterday. Some days I am FAMISHED and eat every 3 hours and some days I can eat very lightly. I don't totally fast very often. It's been quite a while but it was not very hard. I had a bit of hunger at dinnertime but then was very surprised to notice at about 9:30PM (we usually eat around 8pm) I was not hungry. I think I was sort of just hungry at dinner time because it's normal for me to eat then.

Today I feel good. I immediately got up and had some low sodium V8 (over 1000mg potassium in that stuff!).. I needed sustenance but didn't want to eat a huge breakfast so I had the V8 and my espresso with 2T half n half and was fine until now.. and it's almost 1pm!

Sometimes prolonging eating in the AM helps my total calories for the day and keeps my hunger down until later in the day which really helps. I am not one that buys into the fact that you HAVE to eat in the morning. It seems as soon as I eat for the day, the rest of the day I am hungry.. I don't seem to have any of the voracious hunger I had before my time on Low Carb (I am no longer doing true Atkins style LC - Just low GI) and keep a keen eye on my actual appetite. I eat fairly often but I am having snax. Like an apple with PB or cheese or Ryevita and Laughing Cow triangles or a large tomato and cucumber salad with turkey (around 150 calories).

It's a fine line, trying to eat only when I am truly hungry and only as much as I need to NOT be hungry. I have finally got down the eating slowly, and eating smallish portions. I am working on stopping before I am truly full and waiting. My sense of fullness always seems to catch up with me at about 10 minutes out. It is interesting the difference between comfortable and full. I WANT to eat too much. I WANT that feeling of being drugged sometimes. I know it's not what I NEED and so far I am walking that line. It's working so far.

How is everyone doing today?! I've been playing in photoshop, what did you think about my pink peacock?

Some musings on being “40 something”.

2010-07-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

If you are close to my age you might remember "A Clockwork Orange".. one of my fav. movies.. He was SUCH a horrid person in this movie but I've always thought he was too damn good looking.
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Ah.. 40 something.. whatever.. I am 46. I was thinking this morning about how
I don’t think I will ever be able to just relax and be happy with my body.. to me this always feels like “just let myself go” and be happy being overweight. I want to be in amazing shape when I turn 50.

I think about diet and nutrition and the way I feel and my appearance, constantly. I don’t think I will age “gracefully”.. I am sure I will fight and kick and scream at “old”.

I feel very young “inside”. I think it’s because Patrick and I didn’t have children. I think I have never truly grown up. I am not sure if that is good or bad but it is what it is.

I know that I will get to my goal – whatever that goal will end up being I am yet to decide. I think just happy in my own skin and svelte. I like that word “svelte”.. I don’t like “skinny”.. it makes me think of a bag of bones.

I see so many women my age that just appear to have given up. Maybe I am vain but I can't. I might be missing out on some kind of happiness, but I just can't.

You see many women that are older and look superb. They are sleek and look great. I saw this one women, she may have been 50, in a bar the other day. I had met a friend of mine for a drink and a salad.

This woman was slender and had straight blond shoulder length hair. Her makeup was simple, her clothes were classic and she looked very comfortable in her own skin. She had on jeans and black high heels, a simple sheer white silk looking tank with a gray short sleeve shirt over. She had on a long silver chain with gray pearls spaced throughout it (I am a jewelry designer and kept the image of it in my head - I am going to make myself something similar).

I thought to myself, this is the look I want. She looked approachable and yet seriously great. I bet she hardly ever eats. I know the older you get, the less you can eat and keep a nice shape. I am still lucky that I am overweight.. I can actually eat a decent amt. of calories and still lose.

The last couple of days have been great. My appetite is well under control. I ate at around 1200 cal on Sunday and 1700 on Monday. (shooting for between 1100 and 1800 a day). Today I am really not hungry yet at all.. it's already 1pm and I have not had to eat yet. I AM craving a skim milk cappuccino..lucky me that I have my own machine! I can make a lovely one with a dusting of cinnamon for only 50 calories. This is my treat often.

I am losing very slowly now. I have stopped walking. It’s so damn hot. Even early in the morning it’s already almost 90deg. I should start setting my alarm an hour early but I don’t know that I will.. ya.. sleep IS important to me. I like to wake naturally. I wake up almost exactly the same time every day.. around 6:50am. Like clockwork.

By the time I get that genius that I married up and ready (pour espresso in him~!) and his breakfast and lunch good to go.. It’s already after 9:30am. (he is HARD to wake up.. he’s a night owl, stays up till at least 2am every night.

He is one of those crazy brilliant (seriously, he is a certified genius!) people that don’t need much sleep – well he gets by fine on 5 or so hours. I don’t know how he does it but after 12 years of marriage I know he does.

Geeze I am rambling… I was talking about how late it usually is by the time I get him out the door. It’s too fracking hot for me by then. I SHOULD start working out to a video at home.. but right now I am just dieting.

I am so damn tired of looking matronly. I have got to get this weight OFF!

Don’t have bunches more to say really yet today. Lots of stuff to do around the house. Got to get to it!
Have a great day my lovely friends! More later….

OMG.. Has it really been two weeks?

2010-07-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ugggg! Sorry it’s been too long since I last posted (thanks to you Tiffany my lovely friend, for giving me a push!).

I am good… I’ve had good and bad days but the good days out number the bad for sure! I am still doing fairly low carb but no longer worrying about ketosis. I am using my appetite as a gauge. When I eat too many carbs I get TOO hungry and then I know it’s time to cut back on those carbs. I am STILL not eating any junk.. no sugar, etc. I am eating lots and LOTS of salads and turkey and still love my cheese.

I think I guess I would say I am just trying to put everything I have learned into effect now. Watching portions, eating as healthy as possible, taking my time when I eat.. etc.

I have been bad about not taking supplements.. it just gets old sometimes but I always come back to them.

On the left here is a visualization pix I have on my fridge - got to love that! My head on the body I want.

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I unfortunately started smoking again a couple of months ago. No excuses really, life in general was HARD and I caved. For some reason I have always connected dieting with smoking. In the past when I smoked lots I did well dieting… I have this mind connection and now when I am cutting calories I automatically want to smoke.

I stopped again yesterday. I threw a half pack away and have got to find some other “crutch”.. I used a cinnamon stick (the real kind.. the cinnamon bark rolled up like you would use in a cup of cider) as a tool to quit last time.. I would pop it in my mouth and keep it there when I craved cigs.. it works well because you can draw air thru the hole in the cinnamon. And the sticks are about the same size as a cig. for some reason they worked for me so I am back to them.. I had stopped smoking for almost two years.

I gained three pounds on our scalloping trip. Just too much food in general. Also I think the heat made me retain water. But it’s off now and I am THANKFUL!

Tonight I am making salmon steaks that I will marinate in teriyaki sauce – it’s actually Kikkoman triple ginger teriyaki sauce. I just marinate them a couple of hours. It’s REALLY amazing. I am making lima beans (I like to cook them ALL day!) to go with.. all in all a pretty low cal and lowish carb (low GI for sure) dinner.

Will do my best to post much more often.

I just printed this out and put it on my vanity mirror.. I love this:

“Remember,
it's never too late to become the person you were always meant to be”.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! XOXO Cary~

It's a Beautiful Mornin' Ahhhh

2010-07-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

Don't you just want to be right there, right now?
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Good Morning!

It’s a lovely morning here. The Genius I Married, and I are going to go to breakfast in a while. A few years ago, Last time I lost a good amount of weight we used to go to breakfast together each weekend. (either Sat. am or Sun. am) and he would get low fat pancakes and eggs/ham and I would get Scrambled egg beaters with lots of veggies thrown in, ham and dry English muffin (I would put jam on it).

I have not been eating bread.. well no grains really except brown rice last night.. on sushi.. for the first time in a very long time. Months actually. I have slowly been adding back carbs (called climbing the ladder on Atkins).

I am doing very well and have not had cravings.. well no horrid cravings I can’t control anyway. I am making smart choices and not eating sugar in any form. Yes I do know that all carbs turn into sugar in your bloodstream but no “sugar” like no cookies, cake, crap junk food. Lots of veggies, lean meats and some low GI fruits. I am down another few pounds… I have lowered my fat as I have upped my carbs. It feels good to me so far. I enjoyed the sushi last night VERY much!

What I am getting at is that I have been wondering about the English Muffin and jam this morning.. real bread has not crossed my lips in months nor has any sugar (as in the jam).. I am going to have it this morning. I will pay attention to how I am feeling afterwards. I think since I am having so much protein with, that I won’t have issues.

I feel like this is a good diet for me. It feels less strict and I feel a bit more relaxed about my eating.. I am not sure if this is good or bad but I will find out I am sure.

Looking forward to lots of coffee and a nice breakfast with The Genius I Married. It’s been a long time, this used to be quite a tradition on weekends for us. Good quality time together, we would sit way longer than we needed to and just talk. I can’t wait.

So onto more fun stuff!
I have a couple of pix from my motivational weight loss file to share with you. This is Renee Zellweger during her “fat” stage when shooting one of the Bridget Jone’s movies.. I LOVE the way she looks.. like a bombshell. I have always been a curvy girl and this is the body I am shooting for, I mean those boobs, that dress, OMG that RED DRESS! her shape, PERFECTION:

Oh and here is another pix that looks like a great body to me.. of course all the photographers and rag mags were saying she looks fat.. whatever, I think she looks HEALTHY and stunning:

Tuesday already?

2010-07-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

I love this image, I think I have posted it before.. it represents metamorphosis to me. Something I am really working on!

~~~~~~~~~~•ღஐƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒஐღ •~~~~~~~~~~

Our boat trip got rained out on the Fourth so we just hung at my parent’s house.. they live on the water so it was still wonderful and very relaxing. I ate too much (am up a pound) but not worried..

Today I had a LONG walk this morning.. I just wanted to keep going. I walked Suki early and then put him back in the house, grabbed my book on tape and headed out.. It was nice.

I am going to eat very lightly today, got to make up for the indulgence (PB and Jelly on Ezekiel and nut cookies over the holiday). Also had some pasta that was not low carb. Since I am not in ketosis any longer I didn’t have a huge water gain. Had lots of energy from the pasta but I know it’s not good for me if it’s not DreamFields.

Making a beef tenderloin and a nice salad with roasted asparagus on the side for dinner. Very low carb. Might even go back into ketosis for a couple of days just because.. although I am still not getting any cravings! I can’t believe I am eating higher carb w/o cravings. I just need to take it slowly and make smart choices.

I am making some blueberry sorbet (frozen fresh blueberries in the freezer right now) tonight.. mixing the frozen berries with a little stevia and fresh lime juice in my vitamix. For dessert tonight.. OMG this stuff is so good.. I love Summer fruits.

I have started smoking again. I know I do this when I get too “into” not eating. I use cigs as a crutch to eat less. I am just so wanting to get as much weight off as quick as I can. I logically know cigarettes are not healthy.. I will stop again soon, right now I am only smoking 5-6 a day.

I just made a huge batch of green tea for my fridge… I have been drinking it like water lately, making a large batch every morning. Also making a cappuccino in the afternoon again.. I am using half and half in the espresso and making my froth with skim milk (about a quarter cup).. a few carbs but makes the best froth. Something about these in the afternoons seems very special and almost ritualistic. It feels indulgent and I think helps me eat less in the afternoons.. not to mention GOOD especially with my sugarfree white chocolate DaVinci and a little dusting of dark cocoa.

Hi!

2010-07-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking for days I needed to get in and post, It’s been too long. I am doing fantastic, better than I have (weight loss wise) in months. Our trip to AR was nice. I loved seeing my sisters and my father. I miss AR sometimes. I certainly do miss the Ozarks. The wildness of them. The way time seems to stand still there. I am sort of torn between wanting to be a city girl (I live in Orlando) and missing my “country girl” roots. Everything seems so much slower there, but I know I would get bored before too long.

Eureka is like an entire other world. Like a little European village.. Lots of gingerbread houses and hippies. Great art galleries too. Psychics and herb shops and a wonderful fringe element abounds.

Anyway it is good to be back. I feel like I am really doing well in my dieting. I upped my carbs (climbed the Atkins ladder it’s called) and am eating a few more carbs (still considered low carb, actually anything under 100 carbs a day is considered low carb).

I am eating LOTS more veggies and some starchy veggies also. More fruit – sort of a low GI style diet I guess. As I have raised my carbs a bit I also have lowered my fat. I still eat good quality cheese (my fav. right now is Uni Kaas Aged Gouda):

Of course also using butter and avo – I am eating a bit less red meat and when I do it’s a bit more lean. I am eating less calories also. I have semi fasted two days early this week (ate very lightly until dinner and than had a pretty light dinner). I am enjoying lots of salads.

A little about what I am eating (I have lost over 10# in the last three weeks).

Last night I made curry dusted chicken breast with raitha (yogurt, garlic, cucumber, garbonzo beans and tomato with cumin and ground green coriander) on the side.. I LOVED it.. I have always loved raitha.

Night before last I made teriyaki salmon with sautéed snow peas.. I sort of did a combo stirfry/sauté.. I added pam to the pan first then added chopped fresh garlic, fresh chopped ginger, red bell and snow peas and sautéed and then added some soy sauce mixed with a drop of stevia. I cooked it with a lid on for about 12 min. Right before I served it I added a teaspoon of water with a half teaspoon toasted sesame oil. (wanted to make the oil go further – it’s such a strong flavor) I topped with sesame seeds right before serving. I was surprised how good it was to be so low cal.

For the salmon .. I thawed it and poured some Kikkoman triple ginger teriyaki sauce over it and sealed it in a ziplock for a couple of hours and set it in the fridge.. turned over a couple of times.. then baked it covered in the oven 350 for 20 min.. spooned some of the sauce on top and WOW it was excellent salmon.. my fav. meal in a long time.

Monday night was an arugula cranberry salad with sesame seed encrusted goat cheese I warmed in a pan on top of the stove.. also sprinkled some pecans over the top. I have been using a Fig Balsamic

(no fat) for my dressing on most of my salads.. I get it here:

http://www.cybercucina.com/

I absolutely love this online store.

So I am doing well, enjoying more fruit and much more veggies, eating more light (it’s hot has hell here – 103 in my back yard a couple of days ago) and losing weight. I am tempted to go Raw again.. enjoyed it last summer but I am concerned about too much fruit.

I think the heat is really just making me want to eat lots of water filled summer fruits and veggies and less fat and meat. I certainly won’t give up meat and will prob. Go back to very low carb and much higher fat this winter but for now I am listening to my body and actually making progress weight loss wise.

Will try to keep posting more often.
Missed you all!!!

I really need to cool off...

2010-06-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling crazy from the heat!
Here is a little pix of the Crescent (more on it below) that cooled me right off!

I also love this pix:

I mean seriously, I can't get cool. I want a bathtub full of ice cold jello.. what? That's not weird...
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I’ve been needing to post for a couple of days. Life is getting away from me lately!
I wanted to share our antipasti plate I made for DH and my brunch yesterday:

I LOVE this stuff and we just munched on it all day. He then made us great steaks on the grille and I made a simple iceburg wedge salad with blue cheese dressing, chopped tomato and bacon. I love this salad with steak.
It was a good day.

We are gearing up for a trip to AR to visit Patrick’s mum and some of my family in Eureka Springs (YEAH!) next week.. We are leaving this coming Saturday. We will be gone a week. I will take lots of pix of Eureka.. it’s such a cool place, we used to go fairly often when I lived in AR. It's got a fantastic artist community and I love alot of the "fringe" society that lives there. I would certainly fit in! It reminds me of a little European village with lots of gingerbread looking houses, it’s in the Ozark mountains in AR. When I was a teenager I wanted to buy an old house there and turn it into a B & B. One of my sister's got smart and moved there. My sis Tommy works at the famous Crescent Hotel there and has arranged a great room for us. Tommy and Jessie I am SO excited! No REALLY, REALLY I am excited. I miss my sisters - I will get to see two of them, I have too many to count now.

So, The Crescent is rumored to be haunted. http://www.prairieghosts.com/cresc.html

Maybe I will have a ghostly visit? I am sure I will have enough to drink that I will eventually convince myself that I have anyway! It always happens at that hotel. Years ago when I was in my 20's my granny and I stayed there and I heard laughing in the middle of the night that sounded strange to me. I was sure it was an evil spirit.

They have a great spa.. I deserve to indulge, right!

When I was growing up we went to this hotel several times. I love it. The hotel was built in the 1800's. The entire town is amazing, it is very Victorian.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eureka_Springs,_Arkansas

It's been many years since we stayed so I am really excited. Check out some of the pix:

Most excited about the fact that my sis lives right in the middle of Spring Street (Eureka was famous for it's springs, one claimed to cure blindness in the 1800's).

Anyway she lives right in the middle of downtown.. It's fantastic and I can't wait.

Spring Street, Eureka Springs, AR:

The totally cool flat iron building downtown:

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We also love the ThornCrown Chapel in Eureka.. http://www.thorncrown.com/

Architect for this amazing steel and glass chapel in the middle of the woods was Fay Jones. He was my step-father's professor in college. It's an amazing structure:

Well I have spent WAY too much time on this post.. as you can see I am really looking very forward to my trip home. It's been I think 4 years since we have been back to Arkansas.

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Tonight I am making a tenderloin roast and Italian (the fat style) green beans. I like these more than regular or French green beans but they are a bit more carby.

Oh and lastly.. on the weight loss front. I am holding at 42 pounds total lost. I have really slowed down in my weight loss (1/2-1 pound a week) and I am going to see about stepping it up when we get back from AR. I WILL stay LC (with help from my sis!) while I am there though.

Well got to run!
Have an excellent week.

Rituals...

2010-06-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had blooming tea? It's beautiful and some of them are REALLY good!
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Good Morning,

How are you this Tuesday morning? It’s a stunning and very beautiful morning here, somewhat still cool with a bit of fog at this early hour (6am). I am enjoying a new blooming green tea with a baby hibiscus flower in it (working on drinking MORE green tea! I love it for several reasons, all the antioxidants of course, and it’s supposed to help with weight loss. But for me I think it’s more the ritual of tea).

I have a small collection of teacups I have gathered over the years. Each morning I normally have tea first thing when I get up and then an espresso about an hour later (with lots of cream! – got to love low carb (LC) for that!) with my husband.. from here on out he is to be known as “The Genius”. And he actually is. But that’s another story…

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy my morning tea ritual. In my past my food was out of control. I have had to find a new mentality (still a work in progress) about how and what I eat and drink. I went from an extreme of over-eating whatever and whenever I wanted to a very severe extreme diet over and over, back and forth.

It’s incredibly hard for me to find a “happy medium”. I am an extreme person. I tend to see things in black and white. Somehow my tea and espresso ritual has helped me with this. It feels indulgent (really nice china cups, really good quality coffee and tea and what’s not indulgent about real cream!) so that appeals in a big way to my hedonistic side, but it is actually good for my physically and mentally so that appeals to my more “virtuous” side.

We all have read about how green (and white tea) is so good for us. I really do believe all the hype. I like to try new tea often. I normally buy from small companies online (I really like to support indy businesses) somehow I feel like my buck might make a difference to these smaller companies. I also go to ebay from time to time to find a new teacup or espresso cup. I have a small collection of ones that are special to me. A pink and a blue set that is from the 40’s are my very fav right now. Here are a couple of pix just because I love them that much:

I guess what I am getting at with this post is that once you begin to only put what you consider the best into your body you need and want less of the crap you used to eat. You get so much more satisfaction from it. Now a really nice cut of meat, even very small, and a salad with good quality fresh (and organic if we can afford it that week!) veggies seems very special to me not to mention my extreme fascination with cheese and wine! Now we have a bit of good cheese and a glass of wine for dessert and it’s incredible! But that’s an entirely different post…

Have a great day my lovely friends!

The joy of good food...

2010-06-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

Do you or have you ever cooked live lobster at home? I am not sure I could. I am watching Julia Child's lobster show on youtube and wondered if I might try it. Eeek! I sure do love lobster though and isn't it perfect for low carb!

Here is her video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPcGiLVp9Zw

I think I may try. One thing about low carb is that I really try to have special meals more often. I truly don't want to get bored and actually don't spend more on groceries than I did before low carb (most of the time). Did you know that on average in France women spend 25% more on groceries than we do.. I guess food is just more special to them than to most of us... For me so far, much more natural and fresh ingredients tend to be more affordable than all the processed crap. I do spend more occasionally when I have to get a good cheese fix! and of course lobster, if I do make it, is freaking not cheap! Although I am sure it would be much more expensive at a restaurant.

Some other meals I am thinking of (my French leanings!) are Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon and I want to do a nice Bernaise sauce... I want to get really good at sauces.

I am eyeing an original 1966 Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking".

I have seen them for well over $100 so far though, so I am not sure I will find an affordable one but doesn't it just need to be mine if I am going to get more serious about good food?

Sunday Brunch...

2010-06-06T09:58:00.001-07:00

This morning I decided to drive myself crazy and try to do two difficult cooking techniques that I have been working on.. together. I am talking about eggs benedict! I had recently perfected true poached eggs (the secret is the vinegar and salt in the water)… here is a video I followed:

http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2007/03/eggs-benedicts-last-2-episodes-to-make.html
(speaking of this food blog.. I LOVE it! Great videos and I learned the hollaindaise here as well.)..

http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2007/03/hollandaise-101-can-sauce-really-sense.html

My poached eggs were perfect! I LOVE good old style poached eggs. So wonderful for a Sunday brunch or well, any time you have the TIME.

His secret (he is a chef) was to make the eggs up ahead of time and keep them in an icewater bath until ready to serve and just slip them back in the simmering water for a minute. It did not overcook them at all.. just warmed them up perfectly. It’s HARD for one person to time the poached eggs and hollandaise perfectly together to serve them on time so the re-heating the poached eggs was a great idea! I actually only needed to have them sit in the icewater for about 5 min. so I just kept the water I cooked them in, simmering.

The hollandaise was another story. I have been reading several sites about making it and love his Tshirt he has on his site that says “a hollandaise can sense fear”!.. ha!

I decided then to not be afraid and just do it. It actually came together well.. no worries with separating but I should have let it cool a bit because when I poured it over the eggs it ran down onto the plate. I also don’t think I drained the eggs well enough because then the sauce got even more watery. I did notice that about 5 min after we set down to eat (still tasted fantastic!) that the leftover sauce I had not used that was still in the bowl, was nice and thick.. I think the trick is waiting 3 or so minutes before spooning it over the eggs. I WILL get this meal to come out perfect!

I also think I am going to serve the tomatoes on the side as they might have added to the watery-ness of the hollandaise.

All in all I was pleased.. one of the important things with long term low carb is to not get bored.. to not make the same things over and over. The poached eggs were perfect and I didn’t break the hollandaise sauce, it was creamy and smooth after those couple of minutes.

Next time will be perfect and what a fantastic low carb meal this is.. we don’t need no stinking English muffin!!!

#$%!&*##$^!

2010-06-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

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I have been struggling lately. I am dealing with boredom in my eating. I have gotten to where I don’t want to cook often because it’s Summer and this always happens in the summer when I get too hot PLUS I am dealing with freaking hot flashes too.. Whatever...

I posted on LCF re: foods that are cool and don’t need cooking or at least can be cooked ahead of time and just brought to room temp.. like a quiche.

A couple of days ago I just gave in and had Thai food. I really don’t have an excuse. It certainly was NOT a planned indulgence. (I do have those from time to time). I think actually I had waited too long for my next planned indulgence and just was starting to feel deprived. Didn’t feel like cooking, was overwhelmed with work and just made a decision to “not give a crap” for that day.

I gained 4 pounds of water and it’s slowly coming back off.. I went back to induction levels (below 20g a day) but not induction really, as I am allowing myself more veggies and nuts than are allowed on true induction.

I had to look at why it happened and came to the conclusion I was bored and decided to get back into ketosis as quick as possible and then start cooking a few more interesting meals and some cold meals like gazpacho, good salads, ceviche, etc.. I need to keep focused and plan better, I was allowing myself to sort of let go too much. I was overwhelmed with work and the house and painting the house.. etc.

I need to do what I know works, making a weekly menu, doing the shopping, getting everything organized and cooking a few things ahead of time.

I am doing a roasted lemon rosemary chicken for dinner tonight.. I wash and dry the chicken, separate the skin from the bird and stuff thin sliced lemon and rosemary leaves under the skin. Then I butter the skin (make sure the bird is good and dry... I wash it and then dry it with a few paper towels) and sprinkle LOTS of garlic salt, onion powder and pepper.. so much that you would think it would be too much but it really makes the skin GREAT.

I cook it uncovered until it needs to be covered, in a 375 deg. Oven. It’s a really good chicken this way.
I am making a nice salad to go with. Simple with a homemade vinaigrette.

I just made an interesting drink. I am always struggling with wanting to drink sodas. I bought a bunch of dried ginger from Penzeys spices and boiled it in water for 15 min.. strained it and added stevia. It’s good hot (right now) and will be really good cold. I think it would be good added to lemonaide.

I am also going to Whole Food (freaking should call it Whole Paycheck) soon to get some sushi grade fish, shrimp and maybe scallops to make ceviche.

A cucumber, tomato, avo gazpacho is in the works too. I LOVE good gazpacho. I want more salads too. Friends on LCF have had some good suggestions for me too here:

http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/lowcarb-recipe-help-suggestions/677505-i-need-cold-food-ideas-gazpacho-ceviche-etc.html

Other ideas are Caprese salad.. tomatoes, Mozzarella Cheese, capers, bunch fresh basil leaves , olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I really like this salad and make it fairly often.

I like slaw too and am looking up an old Italian chopped salad recipe I have somewhere.

I also love Antipasta salad and a good Greek salad. I also want to work up a recipe for a cold pasta salad using Dreamfields.

Anyway, I am going to be fine. This is my lifestyle and I know I am not perfect but I am SURE much, OMG MUCH better off than I was 40 pounds ago!

Ok.. I feel better now.

A Little Indulgent ME Time Today!

2010-05-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

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I am well. How are you?

Today is a good day. I am doing a bit of surfing of blogs in my time off today and have found a couple I really like.
One woman in Britain (I think) is doing the Dukan diet and I am following her blog. I just find it interesting, I am not changing from Atkins.. here is her blog:

http://glamedup.wordpress.com/page/2/

I actually just like her blog in general. It’s fun and lots of great pix.

I have also been checking out some French lifestyle blogs. I really enjoy reading these. They make me feel happy to be a woman. I love most of the attitudes of these. Many of them are beautiful and just great eye candy. I love French culture in general. I enjoy the idea that you should take more out of life. You know.. Joie de Vivre..

I am beginning to realize as the weight is coming off that I lost a lot of my mojo. I lost my love of life for a while. My Joy. I used to be very indulgent. Obviously the indulgence in food showed on my body, but I was indulgent in life in general and a lot of that was good, I found that much of life amazed and excited me. I am finding out that when I reigned myself in, a lot of my other loves sort of dulled as well. I have been sort of living a “staid” lifestyle and I have been working on getting out of that and these beautiful blogs help me do that.

http://frenchified.wordpress.com/

http://froufroufashionista.blogspot.com/

http://frenchcharming.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-12-19T05%3A30%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=17

http://frenchblue-frenchblue.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

http://lacoquette.blogs.com/la_coquette/

This one is not necessarily a French lifestyle blog but she truly has great style and I am enjoying reading it:

http://www.elementsofstyleblog.com/

I just love spending a little time with a nice espresso or cup of good tea and perusing these sites.. it feels indulgent and that’s what we ALL need from time to time.

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I have been working on the bedroom again. I took a week off the painting because, well it was just driving me crazy! In my designing inspired stupor I chose many colors for the room (three colors for walls and a forth for the trim and ceiling.) I design jewelry for a living (check out my site sometime: Http://CaryMartinDesigns.com ) and just jumped right into the idea that I could “design” a bedroom just as easily.. this was CRAZY I tell you! I truly had no idea what I was doing… It HAS turned out to be lovely and truly just what I wanted and I (well myself and my husband Patrick, from here on out known as “That Genius I Married” ) am almost finished.

We got the ceiling fan and Cherry Wood blinds hung over the last couple of days and the painting is done except for a tiny bit of trim. (pix to come soon.) I still have to find a few things.. bedside tables and lamps and carpet runners, but it’s coming along and I am really looking forward to getting our bed out of the living room! It’s been a month.

I ran across a very cool pendant lamp while looking for bedside lighting:
I am in LOVE with these.. but they just won’t work in the bedroom (but one might for our entryway!):

(coolest thing ever ha?!)

http://www.artecnicainc.com/Products/Lighting#Lighting/Future_Flora

My very fav hanging light that I have had in a folder in my computer for a couple of years.. (won’t work for the bedroom but I WANT it somewhere – maybe my office but it’s LARGE!)

http://www.artecnicainc.com/Products#Lighting/Icarus_Light

And LAST BUT NOT IN THE VERY LEAST. I wanted to turn you all on to this great skin care site I found! It’s independently run (I love supporting budding Indy businesses, sort of like mine!). This site has excellent quality items (I am a serious skin care nut and am very particular about the ingredients in products.. but that’s an entire other blog!). They use top quality ingredients and have products that can run with the “big dogs” so to say.. The same pharm grade ingredients (like Renovage!), made in small batches.

I want LOTS of their products.. I think I am going to try Garden of wisdom I want a couple of their Hyaluronic Acid
Products. Maybe the Raspberry and the Honey Comb. These are just good simple moisture for your face.

I also want their Veggie Azule Face cream, Banana Healing Serum and Frakenincense Hydrosol. I can’t believe how great these products sound. I will let everyone know how great they are. They even have a facial scrub that uses the same crystals as professional dermabrasion you would pay over $200 for at a Dr. office.

http://www.gardenofwisdom.com/finishedproducts.html

Well I guess I had better get back to work.. how do you all find time to blog!?

Sanibel was a dream~

2010-05-21T08:41:00.001-07:00

On my early morning shelling walk on Sanibel Island I ran across this amazing driftwood (I love driftwood).. it was buried very deep in the sand...

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Well, wow where to start!

Sanibel Island was a huge LC success and a wonderful, relaxing, sea air swirling good time. I walked and shelled and we ate great food. Patrick (also known as that genius I married) and I had some amazing food and drink. I think my very fav. meal was the chili butter shrimp we had at Doc Fords. This stuff was seriously food of the Gods, juicy, messy and spicy! I also enjoyed good fresh fish, raw oysters, ceviche and amazingly rich crab bisque. Came back, still in ketosis! (maintained).

I am working on my supplements. I was having issues with nausea and decided to just STOP all of it (taking so many damned pills) and start over again, one at a time. Several herbs I didn’t even remember why I was taking them.. Alfalfa for one.. what was I taking that for again?

Anyway I stopped everything except my Virgin Coconut Oil and Krill and Fish Oils.. which I never had issues with.. I did lower my CO as I do remember it used to cause nausea in too large an amount but I would always get nauseated when I took my morning supplements.

I started back on my 5HTP and my St. John’s Wort.. so far so good..
I am looking into a liquid multi called “Vibe”.. I am still researching it. I think it sounds like something worth trying, only I am concerned that it has 5 carbs. I am eating very low carb right now and wonder if I would maybe be ok with it anyway. IMO it may be a good trade for the carbs and on Atkins you start adding in 5 carbs a week as you climb the ladder. I think this may be a good trade for my 5 carbs.

http://www.rainbowminerals.net/vibe.htm

I would love to believe that if we all ate a “balanced” diet (who really actually does that?) we would not need supplementation, but I just don’t buy it anymore.. I really do believe our foods are much less nutrient dense than they were 100 years ago and here it is hard to find good local organic produce that is not twice as much in cost as the normal produce. I am already splurging on better quality meat.. I don’t think I am afford to constantly buy organic and even if we did the variety just isn’t there most of the time.

My appetite is pretty low right now and I am going with it. It always comes back. I am doing well. I am over my TOM and my water weight (I always gain 2-4 pounds) is slowly coming off.. still have a pound to go to be back to where I was.

Patrick is picking up salads from Wendy’s (the BLT salad, I love it with the Ancho Ranch Dressing) for dinner so I don’t have to cook.. I love that genius that I married!

Here are a few more pix from Sanibel:

Our little beach cottages at the Waterside Inn.. Old style FL charm. We really enjoyed them.

Our little Tiki hut. A great place to lounge and read...

Huge mound of shells early morning (it was low tide) on Sanibel. I brought home like 10 pounds! I am going to mosaic our mail box.. hell maybe the entire house!

Absolutely stunning found objects (fish bone drawbridge) castle we ran across. It was just amazing. It had a tiny shell path around it.

Heading to Sanibel Island Tomorrow...

2010-05-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am excited about the trip to Sanibel! I know it’s going to be wonderful walking on the beach and that we can take Suki with us is a plus, he loves the beach!

I really wish I was at a place in my weight loss that would allow me to feel comfortable in my own skin.. but I am not there yet, actually not close at all.

For swimming I have a two piece black bathing suit, got the top and bottom seperately on line (the top actually is sold as bra sizes), it's a bra style with underwire and looks ok and fits well. The bottom is a "miracle suit" bottom, covers my arse well and actually holds my belly in well. I highly recommend these suits.

I actually love to swim, used to be an instructor and lifeguard, so a two piece allows much better movement IMO.. I wear a white gauze long top over the suit when I swim.. it dries quickly.. it's gathered at the top with a string tie so the "girls" at least look good, they say to accentuate the positive, right?. Clothes are a bitch in the summer. It’s so hard to find clothes that are comfortable and look good on this fat chick. I have one sundress I like but that’s it and it’s sleeveless so I wear a white cotton short sleeve button up shirt open, over it.

I HAVE just bought two new knee length cotton skirts.. one green and one white. I like skirts that come to the knee. I can’t wear shorts (well I just freaking won’t.. my thighs are the worst part of my body) but I think the skirts are a nice compromise.. I like that you can’t tell how large my thighs are in a skirt, there! I said it.. I really don't love my thighs, I know I should... self love and all but I am NOT the least bit happy with them..

The skirts are somewhat fitted so I don’t find them that comfortable but they are flattering as far as clothes can be on me.. I know… I am too hard on myself.. blah blah.. I DON’T like the way I look, I just don’t. Not yet.

Anyway I sort of have a “summer uniform”.. either knee length sundresses or skirts with spaghetti camis (I have found two places that sell plus size camis in a longer length.. I bought several colors from spiegel.. I can’t think of the other place right now if you really want to know, let me know and I will look it up)..

I like the camis over the skirts with a short sleeve shirt over the cami (they are small straps. I very rarely do find a longer shirt I like. I am pretty picky.. they have to be fairly long, have side slits, at least short sleeves and a v neck. I think over the last couple of years I have found two I like. One is from one of my very fav. places Http://Athleta.com

They sell plus size up to a 2x and I can wear their 2x (I am in a womens 16 sometimes 18 - Lane Bryant 14-16). I just got in this top that I actually love and kept (I order so much stuff that always gets returned.) I am pretty excited about the new top:

I also got this cotton green skirt from Athleta:

I really like this skirt.. it has a cotton lining (light) that is somewhat smaller and keeps my tummy nicely "in" if you know what I mean and the gathers are very flattering on.. it comes JUST to my knees which I love. (I am 5' 3.5")

Anyway I am glad to have something new and somewhat comfy but I will be so glad when I can wear whatever the hell I want and NOT have to put so damned much thought into it.

So I have put lots of planning into this trip so I know places we can eat (wrote about some of them below) I know from past experience that planning ahead makes it much more doable. I don't care what people say, staying on LC on vaca.. for a foodie like me is NOT that easy. I have to scope out websites ahead of time and find a list of places we have to choose from.. freaking found a place that has all these desserts.. hope I don't even SEE that place.. anyway I am rambling..

Found several places that are very LC friendly.. one of my very fav. is cheeburger, cheeburger. I am going to get a burger with all kinds of LC happy toppings! Love burgers this way. Going to get lots of shells (working on covering my mail box in a mosaic of them), walk as much as I can and try to actually decompress.. oh and maybe shop!

Have a beautiful weekend everyone, I know I will!

Hello!!!

2010-05-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

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It’s been too long so I decided I best get my arse in here and post.

First of all HI TIFFANY! Love you gurl.. will be heading over to your blog right after my post!

Lets see… I have been doing much better. I have been very strict in my eating because of my IBD and really am just eating meat, eggs and cheese.. I have had a few veggies.. VERY well cooked.. so far so good.

I am afraid I am back to drinking diet cokes. I think I just gave up too much. I KNOW they are the devil but I am at least drinking the splenda ones.. will work on them again later.

Thank you to my friend Fawn from LCF for the Coconut Pudding recipe (basically just a can of coconut milk (make sure to get good organic co milk with NO SUGAR).. mine is the organic 365 brand from Whole Foods.. 12 carbs for the entire can.. mixed with 1 Cup of finely shredded (I used my food processor) organic sugar free coconut flakes.

Mix this together and let it sit in the fridge overnight.. I have a bottle of coconut Davinci so I am going to check to see if it needs a little sweetening when we eat it tonight..

Coconut is so good for us and especially good for those of us with bowel issues or candida. It’s also a great way to stoke your metabolism.. I actually can feel my body warm up when I use coconut oil. Anyway, had to share…

Patrick and I are headed to Sanibel Island for a little vaca this weekend.. and ya.. we are staying on program of course.. I have scoped out a few places to eat already.. a good place called Schnappers hots for hot dogs (love them with hot peppers and mustard and cheese! Who the hell needs a bun! I usually just chop them up and eat it sort of like a salad.

Also there is a Cheeburger, Cheeburger there.. can’t beat their huge burger (sans bun) with avo, grilled onion, bleu cheese, bacon.. omg.. I can go on.. they have many toppings that are LC friendly.

I also found a place for breakfast that is pet friendly.. It’s called the Key Lime Bistro. They have build your own omelets.. OMG.. can’t beat that.

And we are going to Timber’s for dinner.. a great fresh seafood/fish place. So I am prepared (it’s the key to success you know!) and so ready for our vaca.. long walks on the beach and I might even get on a bike.. if I can keep myself from singing “fat bottom girls”.. I sure miss Freddie.

Making a briscuit I got at a Kosher butcher tonight. The owner told me an interesting way to cook it.. wrap it twice in plastic then foil (add spices first of course) and then put it in a dutch oven, put the lid on it, put it in the oven on 250 and cook 30min per pound. Mine is like 7 pounds.. so that’s over 3 hours. Can’t wait to try it.. he said it makes them very juicy.. and it’s grass fed, hormone and antibiotic free.. perfection.

That’s all for now!

Good Morning and Happy Monday!

2010-04-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

This week I am going to post a few pix from our trip to Kona last year. I am needing a vacation and looking at these helps me to at least REMEMBER that we once took a vacation!

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I love Mondays. It’s so nice to have such a clean start. I cooked a bunch of nice thick peppered bacon this morning. I am right now just wanting a bit of meat now and then, I am really not hungry at all. Last night I didn’t really even want dinner. Patrick handed me am Atkins bar last night around 8:30 and I ate it, not remembering that they really don’t agree with me (it’s been a long time since I ate one) and this morning I am paying for it. The artifical crap and the sugar alchohols are really BAD for IBD.

I made a huge batch of herbal iced tea (cherry berry flavor – Celestial seasonings I think).. I really like it and the blueberry one). I am staying away from even my Pellagrino for a few days.. no bubbles.

My energy is good. I am working on more painting in our bedroom. I can’t believe how slow it is going.

Patrick and I are planning a three day weekend to Sanibel hopefully in a couple of weeks. We found a little beach side motel (old Florida style) right on the beach that is pet friendly so I hope they have a room avail.

This weekend is ShrimpFest up at my sister’s. (Fernandina Beach). Patrick got Friday off. I REALLY am looking forward to getting away. I want to go on another long walk on the beach. ShrimpFest is fun..

All in all I am on an upswing. I am looking forward to the next two weeks and some time off!

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I also wanted to post about something I have been doing lately that is really helping, besides my CO and Fish oil and Krill oil.. I have been making my own "Sports Drinks"

This is what I do:

In a 1 Quart bottle or jar (I save large Poweraid Zero bottles) of water, mix in 1 pk 4C (you might want two packs if you like a strong flavor – these are splenda sweetened and can be found at Walmart by the Crystal Lite – they come in single serving packets) 1/8 teaspoon Morton salt substitute, 1/3 or so capsule coral calcium (I buy the ones that open so you can sprinkle the calcium in the drink), 1/8 teaspoon good quality sea salt (I use Celtic gray) and 1/8 teaspoon baking soda.

I drink 2 of these a day normally. I keep several in the fridge. My husband really likes them too. It sure beats drinking diet soda.

I used to have lots of issues with restless leg at night and muscle cramps occasionally. This REALLY has helped me.

Some meds can make you retain too much potassium so please talk to your Dr. if you suspect you are taking one.

Have a great week everyone!

I am so sick of freaking being fat…

2010-04-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

OK.. this really does suck...
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Seriously. I really, REALLY am. I have this inkling I am truly not living my life. I feel like so much must be passing me by and NOW on top of being fat, I am sick? WTF!

I am trying to look at it as another way for me to be “guided” (yes I am very metaphysical). I wonder if I am so sad a person that it has taken me being really, horridly sick to truly kick me in the ass. What AM I suppposed to take from this?

I actually feel like I have really been doing my best, well MOST of the time. But in reality I have been “trying” to get this damn fat off for over 3 years. I am SICK AND FREAKING TIRED OF “pussy footing” around (for lack of a better term?). I feel like I am just watching my life sort of tick away.. sitting on the sidelines. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself right now. I need to get out and at least lay in the sun I think.

I might be a bit emotional because I am feeling like damn hell lately but what if I allowed myself to just never do it?. How in the hell am I going to feel a year from now if AGAIN I am in the same place. I keep thinking about that today.

I also have been wanting to just not eat.. even if I get hungry. Is it wrong to want to use a 5# weight loss that happened because I was sick to push me into losing more? It feels wrong.. like I am not taking care of myself but I WANT to get some more weight off.. I normally lose so slow. I know it's not healthy thinking though.

I am afraid I am going to go overboard and start to not eat, on purpose. I feel like my old disordered eating ways could come back to haunt me. I am afraid. I have these feelings in my mind like I should just “use this not wanting to eat” to push myself into losing a few more pounds. Whatever.

I have got to get a grip!

Summer is almost here and I wanted more than anything to be comfortable in at least a pair of shorts. I really did. Why am I feeling so depressed? It’s really not like me actually. I promise to have a better attitude tomorrow!

A bit down.. but not out.

2010-04-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

This IBD flare has really got me down. I WANT to say I am totally better. This seems to be hanging on a long time, longer than it has in the past.

I do feel better and can notice a little improvement each day.. I’ve been In bed for over a week, really have not been able to do much. Feeling better the last couple of days. Just eating meat and egg right now. So far pain is about 50% gone. Had a good bit of pain this morning but it's passed. I am eating next to nothing really so I can't understand.

I've lots of good salmon in the freezer (just ended up buying it at WF). Also had some new fish called Corvina I have never had, last night. Wow it is GOOD. Patrick ate most of it for me. I really don't have an appetite at all.

Taking mega doses of Omegas (krill and fish oil) and a couple T of CO a day. Have a couple of other ideas of natural ways to control inflammation but want to try a few things at a time only.

I am adding a couple of veggies this week to see how I do (doing sort of mono meals). I have read veggies have to be cooked beyond recognition. Adding green beans first.

It's pretty boring.. but I guess I just don’t care. Food really does not sound like the end all be all to me right now anyway. Talking with my sister Stacy allot more lately about her life with Crohn’s. She has helped greatly. So have a few friends from LCF. I love you guys so much!

My nausea is totally gone. I've lost several pounds (of course not in a good way). I remember how skinny my sister got when she was going thru bad flares. She always used to say "It's tempting to just not eat".. now I know why.

Thank you Tiff for continuing to stay in touch.. it does my heart good to hear from you! and Fawn thanks for the ideas and support darling. You are an amazing woman with so much to teach.

Tonight is chicken breast with some avo. I love avo so I am really looking forward to it.

I have not had anything fizzy in almost two weeks.. tea and water only. I am dying for a diet soda. No really! I would kill something for one right now but I KNOW I can’t.. so I won’t.. damn it.

All in all I am encouraged.

Some Spring Painting...

2010-04-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Life is crazy this week. Well what makes this week any different, I sometimes feel my life is totally out of control anyway! I am painting our bedroom and it’s turned out to be a much bigger job than I thought! I am loving it though. I am doing a red wall an “old gold” treatment wall (metallic) and a couple of marigold walls and the ceiling is marigold.

The red is taking 3 coats.. apparently I should have used a tinted primer. Live and learn I guess! It's the red wall that started it all *smile*.. wanted a sexy bold bedroom...

The ceiling was HARD! It’s a popcorn ceiling and I did three coats and it still needs touching up here and there. I am in LOVE with the gold wall. I chose the wall that the sun hits in the AM.. it’s got a not so subtle gleam!

A few pix:

This is the red and part of the marigold wall and ceiling. The red is darker than it looks.. it's a brownish red.. deep and dark!

I had a very hard time deciding what color to do the doors and trim.. decided on the marigold. What do you think?

This is the gold wall on the left. With a marigold wall and ceiling. The gold wall turned out great.. four freaking coats though - If you are interested it is Valspar Brilliant Metals. When the sun hits it, it is glorious!

A close up of the gold wall, I think the marigold trim will be great.

and a closeup of the gold wall.. I couldn't get a good pix really.

Hope to get it finished this weekend. We have a window treatment coming.. wooden wide vertical blinds in cherry wood.. Got to get some new furniture too.. got our bed, this is a pix of the bed (from the showroom):

It's more cherry than the pix appears. It's going on the red wall *smile*.

I am still trying to decide on bed side tables.. I love these:

But I am still looking!

Well got to get back to work.

Oh.. doing well on LC..

It's Sunday.. and my mind is racing...

2010-04-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

Today I have so much going thru my mind. My focus right now is taking care of my liver while also working back up to high fat (already back to low carb.)

It seems to be a contradiction to me or at least it used to. Now I know your liver can be helped with low carb – even with LOTS of fat in your diet.

I have slowly raised my fat over the last two days. So far so good. I want to do another liver/gall cleanse soon. I think the fact that it is Springtime urges me to do it. My body always wants to do it in the Spring. I feel sluggish, bloated and well… fat! There are times I don’t feel this way. LC is good for making me feel more lean even though I am still very much overweight. I feel more defined.. Hope that feeling comes back soon!

Tonight for dinner is Tiffany’s Pesto Salmon:

Pesto Salmon
You'll need:
 one piece of raw salmon per person
 a jar or tub of pesto
Broil or grill the salmon on one side only. If your fish has skin on one side, put this side up first. When done on the first side, turn the fish over, smear pesto all over the uncooked side, and continue grilling or broiling until done on this side. That's it!

Here is her site again!:
http://www.deliciously-thin.com/low-carb-seafood-recipes.html

I love this because I have some great wild caught salmon in from Whole Foods and also several batches of homemade Pesto in the freezer. This is such a wonderful simple meal. When you have excellent ingredients a simple meal is perfection. I think I am making my roasted balsamic asparagus for the side.

YUM!
Tiffany, thanks for the great idea! Love you girl!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I am craving fruit in the mornings still (changed to fruit before noon when I started having liver pain – but now I am back to Atkins) Surprised I am craving but I know it will pass. I would get some more strawberries right now but they are in perfect season and I am NOT sure I could control the portions on them! I think maybe the craving is just thirst. I am SO thirsty again.

Just having a nice double espresso with 2 T half n half. I love our epsresso machine! It’s a bit of an obsession.

(That's a pix of me my DH took a couple of days ago.. no makeup yet but I didn't care because he just brought me a GREAT cup of coffee!)

I have over 10 Davinci flavors (which is kind of low for us!) .. I use them in cooking as well as coffee PLUS last year I bought us a snow cone machine and several fruit flavors of the Davinci. My fav is mixing coconut and pineapple and a splash of cream on the ice. YUM.

Well my mind sure is wondering this morning. I love Sundays.

This next week I am aiming for 2# lost. I am going to make sure I walk EVERY day and go for at least 40min. It’s perfect weather here right now so no damned excuses. My boy Suki loves a good long walk.

(Suki when he was a baby! I need some new pix.. he's over a year old now.)

Also I am going to get back on my milk thistle and lemon juice regimen. I use fresh lemon juice and a couple of drops of stevia in a huge glass of pellagrino (yes it’s expensive but I gave up my Diet Cokes and this is what made it possible!) each morning. I had ran out of my milk thistle (for my liver) for a couple of weeks.

Also running low on my CO.. (coconut oil). I was just reading a post by my friend Fawn on LCF (low carb friends):

(Fawn is a personal health coach a Certified Nutrition Educator. She's helping SO many (including me).. you can find out more about here on her site "My Healthy Transition"")

http://myhealthytransition.com/

Her personal journey (with very motivational pix!) can be found here:
http://myhealthytransition.com/packages.html

On LCF she was talking about how the CO along with Cod Liver Oil (which I take both) about how the combo is good for your Thyroid. I sent her a PM asking about ratios. I wonder if I need to up either.. Right now I am taking 1T of both each day. And well, also using the CO occasionally in cooking .. I LOVE my veggies roasted in CO.. especially green beans.

I feel a renewed excitement. I will get this figured out!
Have an excellent upcoming week everyone!

2010-04-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

Thats me holding a painting of moi that my mother did.. She's an incredible artist.
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Got back on LC yesterday at lunch and Wow.. down two pounds overnight, it kills me the way my body holds onto water weight.

I am making us shrimp scampi and roasted Brussel sprouts for dinner tonight.. I think I am doing my scampi like this:
Peel and marinate in a bit of olive oil with crushed garlic.. marinate for about a half hour. Heat 3T butter, add some chopped garlic, throw in shrimp, a little lemon juice and rind, dash of Worstershire and maybe a T of dark rum. This sounds so good to me! Going to roast the Brussels in some CO to go with.. OMG.. I love LC.

I was watching a recording of an Oprah show and she spoke about a new book "Women, Food and God".

I went to her site and read a bit from the book. An excerpt is here:

http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excerpt-from-Geneen-Roths-Women-Food-And-God

I realize I am really tied up in dieting.. my entire world revolves around losing weight. I realize I don’t love or accept myself quite the way I should. I live in fear constantly. I don’t like to leave the house half the time because I have this image of myself that is WAY overboard fat - I imagine myself much worse than I really am, I DO need to lose a good amount of weight but I have an excessively horrid self image. I realize that my life is truly on hold. I have to get out of this mind set. Some excerpts from the book:

"As long as we see ourselves to be the child who was hurt by an unconscious (unavailable?) parent, we will never grow up. We will never know who we actually are. We will keep looking for the parent who never showed up and forget to see that the one who is looking is no longer a child." "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth

I realize I don’t allow myself to feel much of anything. I am the queen of pretending. I live in my own world most of the time. I certainly gloss over reality and don’t even allow myself to feel good feelings sometimes, afraid I will just feel them and then something bad will happen, like the other shoe drop.

More excerpt from the book:

“The bottom line, whether you weigh 340 pounds or 150 pounds, is that when you eat when you are not hungry, you are using food as a drug, grappling with boredom or illness or loss or grief or emptiness or loneliness or rejection. Food is only the middleman, the means to the end. Of altering your emotions. Of making yourself numb”

“The poet Galway Kinnell wrote that "sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness." Everything we do, I tell my students, is to reteach ourselves our loveliness.”

I ordered the book. I guess it's time to start letting a few feelings roll thru, ha?

Tonights dinner Caribbean Shrimp Scampi was pretty good... needed more salt and more garlic and less lemon rind. Need to make notes on my recipe. I just needs more oomph.

Feeling better, Thank you so much everyone!

2010-04-08T15:12:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to come in and say I am feeling much better. I am back on low carb and right now I am doing low fat and low carb.. I will slowly raise my fat and see how I do.

Eating LOTS of veggies and really enjoying them! I am not back in ketosis yet but not concerned. I know I will be soon enough.

Thank you so much for your emails and comments gang. They really helped me when I needed them most!

Tonight I am having a large salad with fresh spinach, a little onion, grilled chicken, low fat Greek dressing, and a little red grapefruit. I normally would add avo to it but holding off on more fat for a couple more days.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend~

Major Frustration.. What the hell do I do now?

2010-04-05T05:54:00.001-07:00

Well it has been a VERY hard week! I just am so frustrated to the point of almost wanting to scream. I can’t seem to get this figured out. The high fat in Atkins seemed to be bothering my liver again so I want on a low fat diet like I had in the past with lots of veggies but ALSO corn and beans and brown rice. Well the last three days I have had a horrid IBD flare-up. I have had serious IBD in the past, so bad that I went thru thousands of dollars worth of tests last year trying to find out what the deal was. I had five tests, an MRI, a Colonscopy, , Cat Scan, Ultrasounds and a bowl follow thru (this is all I can remember right now!).

We were pretty sure it was Crones until a small bowel follow thru test found that it was IBD and maybe candida overgrowth and HPylori. At the time I was having such a bad time with continued flare-ups (I just put this together in my mind NOW) I was NOT doing low carb but doing weight watchers. I started back on LC in Dec. of last year and for the last 3 ½ months had NO flare-ups at all! I didn’t realize this until last night when I was in so much pain. It dawned on me I had not had a flare-up in months. Could it be that I am having IBD from some carb? Last night I had corn (as in chips and tortillas for veggie tacos) and rice and beans. (one of my fav. Low Fat meals from the past) and within a half hour had to lay down because the pain was so bad I could not walk.

I was floored (literally!) and that’s when I put it together. My IBD has not shown itself in all the time I have been on Atkins. Wow.

NOW what to do? Low Fat and LC? Medium fat? Maybe slowly raise my fat again? My liver is feeling better because of the veggie low fat diet – even though it’s only been a week, but what in the world do I do now? Before on LC (a couple of years ago), I got a liver issue (bloat and slight pain under my right breast) and went on a Raw diet (just fruits, veggies, nuts and seed) for a month and it went away. It didn’t bother me for months, until now.

I am so exasperated it is hard to think rationally. I am beyond frustrated.

Having Liver Pain AGAIN...

2010-04-02T10:00:00.001-07:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up again with that feeling of having a freaking football under my rib cage. I am in a holding pattern, this ALWAYS happens to me after very long on low carb. I need to do another liver cleanse and maybe re-evaluate exactly how I am going to do this.

I love LC and won't be going all insane on sugar but I have to move to a much lower fat diet for a while. I have been thru this before. I do know I can do a very healthy veggie low carb for a while.

This happened last summer and I ended up going veggie then Raw before I could start back on LC. I have gallbladder and liver issues.

Right now I am just eating lots of veggies and trying to gear up for a cleanse. Lots of salads and low GI berries - I am also going to get some apples.. very good for gall bladder issues.

This is a bitch.

Such a fantastic day!

2010-03-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

A stunning Springtime Cherry Blossom Photo. I SO want to go to see a Cherry Blossom Festival some day!

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Needed to come in and post.. it’s been too long!
I am well.. I actually am back on induction levels and my hunger is really nill right now. I could totally fast right now and I am thinking of getting back into Intermittant Fasting. (IF).

I think there are times during my cycle that my hunger is more driven by hormones and times it is much less. I need to start tracking my hunger a little more. Well it could also just be deep ketosis that is squelching my hunger.

I am planning on not eating at all until I am truly hungry.. I imagine tonight I will get hungry, also not cooking tonight (I like to occasionally give the kitchen a rest!) maybe we will pick up a couple of BLT salads from Wendy’s. I love their Chipotle Ancho Ranch and with the salad and ranch and a grilled chicken breast (sans croutons), the combo comes in around 440 cal and 13 carbs.. No worries as I can now apparently eat at least 40 carbs a day and stay in ketosis. I am pretty sure the salad tonight will be all I will need. I am really not hungry at all! I like to try to go with it when I am feeling like I can just not eat. I know my hunger ALWAYS comes back!

I have been reading over my journals (I have YEARS of journals in the computer).. a few years ago I lost allot of weight and when reading my journal from that year I realized I was REALLY into exercise.. more than I even really remember.. I was just driven. I talked about how I felt so good and sometimes would have feelings of euphoria roll thru my body. I WANT that again. I am just walking right now.. although it’s LOTS of miles (IMO) 2-3 a day but I would like to do more.. then I was doing kickboxing, belly dancing, dance aerobics and going to the gym in our complex. NOW of course I don’t live in an apt. so I would have to pay for a gym BUT I have weights (hand held) sitting out in the garage I need to get out.. Patrick and I used to do them together in front of the TV at night.. we had a routine we did for a while..

Well I am feeling great! I have a goal to be under 199 by July 4th and I WILL make that goal!

Happy Sunday my lovlies!

Had a refeed day (planned)

2010-03-23T11:50:00.001-07:00

A little eye candy *smile*... Billy Idol.. he's aging well ha! OMG.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Well Saturday night we were at my mum’s house and Patrick and I had a couple of planned carb up meals - my weight loss had really slowed to next to nothing (1/2 pound in two weeks).

I had a PB sandwich (no jelly) and two bowls of rice krispies (no sugar added to the bowl). thru the evening Sat night (had it all in a 2 1/2 hour period). They were GOOD and I was up 4# yesterday (Monday) for my weigh in.

I think I have mixed feelings about re-feeds (carb up days, refeeds, refilling glycogen stores.. etc). On one hand I have read it really helps with Leptin hormone but want to do much more research! On the other I need to make sure I don’t get carried away, use a plan I put into place for the refeeds AND get right back on, be prepared ahead of time for getting right back on LC. (did very good this time - today is day three back on).

Today I am down two of the four pounds (only carbed up for a couple of hours Sat. night)..

I am going to not do another carb up day until I have not lost any weight for 10 days in a row...

I was very glad the carb up meal(s) didn’t make me crave! That’s such a change for me. I hope this spurs on a little more weight loss. I will see.

Back on induction levels for this week - only going to do induction levels until I am down the water weight I gained.. or an extra pound maybe, then back to 30 grams a day.

I need to get back to my walking! I was doing so good but got very busy with the house and business(es) and have let it slide.

Here's to a good week! and hopefully an extra pound or two GONE!

It's almost Friday!

2010-03-18T09:25:00.001-07:00

Spring has almost sprung!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I am feeling very good. Yesterday was easier food wise because I logged all my food ahead of time in Fitday (this really keeps me reined in!). I have been doing this from time to time when I start to struggle with wanting to just eat too much, you know munch mindlessly all day... and it's amazing how well it worked for me.

Yesterday I had 1750 calories and 30 carbs (still in Ketosis, not sure what my critical level will be and sure I don't want to know just yet!). I am shooting really for 1500 average..

Last night I wanted to much on a handful of Almonds and talked myself out of it because I had already logged everything in and I didn't want to have to log back in and make any changes.. so I decided to just hang on till dinner.

Patrick brought us home Outback Caesar Grilled Shrimp salad (sans croutons, extra Caesar dressing!) and it was very good.. I freaking LOVE their dressing recipe. I found a recipe that is "supposed" to be the actual recipe:

Outback Caesar Dressing

1 cup Egg Beaters
1 1/4 ounces crushed garlic
3 1/2 ounces parmesan cheese
2 2/3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon pepper
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 1/2 ounces anchovies
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 cups olive oil
3 T chopped fresh parsley

Makes like a quart I think! I will be making it soon just to see how close it is!

They only gave us 5 shrimp each.. they are large shrimp but still I wanted more but after dinner I found I was actually plenty full.

I wanted to give a shout out to my friend Tiffany:

Isn't she a stunner!

I wanted to introduce her bad ass site "Deliciously-Thin".

It's in the works and she's already got it filled with great recipes and a soon to be filled "success stories section".. I can't wait to post in!

Check out her site here:

http://www.deliciously-thin.com

and read her success story here:

http://www.deliciously-thin.com/atkins-success-stories.html

I know I will be making even more of her recipes! I can say the roasted cali was the bomb and what a cool way to do it:

Check out her unique recipe here:
http://www.deliciously-thin.com/baked-cauliflower-recipe.html

I love that you steam it a bit before. We eat lots of cali (Low carbers best friend!) and this was a fun way to cook it.

More to come...

Doing fine...

2010-03-17T08:24:00.001-07:00

I love Low Carb!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All The SnackWells in the World Won't Fill You Up. They Make You Hungrier and Hungrier and Hungrier, Until You Start to Think You Are Crazy". Dana Carpenter - Author of "How I Gave Up My Low-Fat Diet"...

I love that quote. Ya.. It's one of the most true statements I have read in a long time.. Those damned SnackWells are sad.

Life's a bit crazy right now.. well hell, it is always I think but I DO have some control now.. at least over what I eat!

It's my TOM this week so I am having a few emotional upheavals right now *smile* but I know this too shall pass.

I HAVE BEEN TAKING STOCK OF HOW I FEEL LATELY!!:

-I am able to go longer without food – my meals are spaced further apart.. sometimes I only eat twice a day.
-I am not having cravings anymore and when I do get hungry it feels more like a controlled normal hunger.

-The other day I came into the kitchen and saw a plate from dinner the night before with LOTS of food left on it! Wow

-I have more energy and am actually thinking about starting a Yoga class in a neighboring city.

-I’m simply doing this.. It has become a lifestyle. I may sometimes eat to much food but it’s LC food and I check every day and I am still in ketosis. I have been for WEEKS.

I am living it. It's becoming second nature.

-I don’t care how long it takes, that’s something else to me, so many times in the past I have done serious crash diets - even pushed LC too far (used ketosis and my lack of hunger to just not eat at all, even when I would get hungry) I have learned. I feel like it took me a long time to gain it so what’s wrong with losing it slowly?

Tiffany,
If you are reading this it's great to hear from you! I know what you mean about switching plans up from time to time. Sometimes you just have to. BUT I know you will more than likely find yourself coming back to LC, if you are like me, because of the CONTROL over your food it gives you. Being hungry all the time, well it sucks! Stay in touch!

Well I am back to work. Tonight Patrick is bringing home dinner, not sure what it is yet but I am sure I am glad for one night, it's not my problem!

It's all so GOOD!

2010-03-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

Baby I'm a Star...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just wanted to post that I am doing very good. I have been crazybusy but my low carb lifestyle is rolling right along nicely. I am feeling really well and feel like I am really in my groove.

No more weight lost this week (my official weigh in's are on Mondays) but I don’t lose every week.

Last night we had nice ribeyes on the grill and I made “loaded broccoli”.. steamed broccoli with sour cream, bacon, cheese and garlic and onion.. YUM.. this is my fav. side right now.

Tonight I am going to do a nice French roast chicken (lemon and rosemary under the skin) and make a salad to go with and have some GOOD Blue Cheese dressing with.. OMG.. I love good Blue Cheese dressing!

I am working on eating Warrior style (google it).. it’s pretty much not eating much during the day and eating most of your calories at night.. lots of reasons why this helps you lose weight per the info but I am not going to go into it here other than it helps Serotonin levels and also leptin levels.. AND it helps me sleep.. I was having issues with being so tired at night but not resting well with normal LC.

Not sure how long I will do it but right now I am doing the best I can at it.. I still eat a bit during the day.. to take my supplements and if I feel really peckish.. I will have a bit of cheese or deli meat or a slim jim (gave up nuts for a while!) but not having to worry with meals during the day frees up SO much time. I am eating around 1700 calories a day so this is in no way starving! Far from it.

The weather is nice, I am back to my walking.. had slacked off for a while..

Well everyone.. I am off to work (have to walk across the house *smile* )
Here’s to another fabulous low carb day~!

Confession time...

2010-03-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

Ok..
So I have been REALLY great for two months, stayed LC and in Ketosis the entire time.. (8# down).

Today I totally lost it for a couple of hours and ate WAY too much.

Today I had to go to the grocery store and I always have to really show serious self control when I get home on those days.

In the past, (back in my bingeing days) as I would unpack I would eat. Hell I would start eating in the freaking car on the way home.. everything that didn't have to be cooked.. and I bought lots of junk AND fatty foods.. (cookies, pastries, poptarts, banana twins (they were my fav! Red Velvet cakes - no wait they were my favorite... etc.). I would just totally eat until I was sick.

Anyway today it happened again.
I was lucky that it was low carb but I ate several ounces of cheese (like 5), over 5 ounces of nuts AND... this is the kicker... SF candy.

I have not bought this is ages but Patrick mentioned last night he would really like some to take to work and put in his drawer SO.. I bought a couple of packages.. I ate like 5 pieces in 5 min.

I actually DID show some control only in that I wrote it ALL down, each time telling myself that was IT... (it finally is).

So far today my calories are 2700. I WANT to just not eat dinner but I can't as I know this is not the answer.. deprivation NEVER works for me.. which leads me to think about the fast I did day before yesterday....

Anyway, not sure what set me off... could have been the fast, might be that I am hormonal (I don't keep track anymore) and I am pretty sure it also was the variety of food all at once that was "available" in the house.

In the past, this would lead to a couple days of starving myself but I am not going to do that.. just going to go on with my day.

After really thinking about this I have decided the fasting (even if it is for only one day) is not for me.. I wonder if this is what lead to the binging.. I know I don’t do well with feelings of deprivation. I have go to just do this slow and steady and make sure I also eat enough fat. I also don’t need to buy any more of those Blue Diamond Flavored Almonds Gurrrrrrr! Freaking they are what set me off I think.. too damn good.

My one day Fast was a great success!

2010-03-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

Well I wanted make a few comments re: yesterday.. well actually last night.
I didn't really have any (well not much) hunger at dinner time. I put a burger on for Patrick and he took it from there.. (a blackened burger with pepper jack cheese and low carb cole slaw.. one of my very fav. meals a la' BackYard Burgers (no bun of course!).

Anyway I didn't have any issues but I came and got on the computer while he ate.

I DID have issues with my sleep though! It took me forever to fall asleep (I felt very tired but just could not go to sleep).. I finally took a double dose of Valerian and Kava (my "sleeping pill" combo of choice - this combo works amazingly well for me). I hardly EVER have this hard of a time falling asleep and very rarely have to take the herbs but they helped me fall asleep... WELL at 2:45am I woke to go to the bathroom and COULD NOT FALL ASLEEP for hours. I think I finally got back to sleep close to 5am. I finally woke this morning around 7am and was a pound lighter on the scale!!! Say Hallelujah!

I am going to have an EAS shake this morning for breakfast and another one a little later than make myself that blackened burger meal I missed out on last night, before I go to the grocery store.. need provisions for the rest of the week.

Good day to all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had to come back in and write about something I have noticed today.
In the past, when I would fast I would be famished the next day.. today I am not... just normal hunger.. I love ketosis!

Intermittent Fasting..

2010-03-01T08:13:00.001-08:00

Good Morning~

Well it's Monday so it's my offical weigh in day.. I have not lost any more in the last few days but I have lost two over the last 10 days or so (finally broke my 5 week stall last week). I am not concerned but I DO want to work on doing I.F. a day a week for a while. I think it will be an easy way to lower my calories and I have read allot on Dr. Eades site about how good I.F. is for us.

Here are a couple of links to his blog discussions of this:
http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/intermittent-fasting/fast-way-to-better-health/

http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/intermittent-fasting/protein-power-verses-intermittent-fasting/

This info appears to be just a dip in the pool of I.F. info and literature.. I am very intrigued.

I mentioned in a previous post that I am reading up on Intermittent Fasting. I have read several of the threads and apparently it's done in several different ways.. everyone sort of doing what feels right to them.

I have fasting experience so I can handle one day.

After I got on the scale this morning I decided spur of the moment that today would be my first I.F. day.

I had not eaten dinner last night (not hungry). I did have one slim jim and a SF caramel because Patrick wanted to open the pkg and have one.. so not even 100 cal and zero carbs for dinner.

Today I am fasting all day and will not eat until tomorrow am. So that is going to be around 37-38 hours w/o food.

I read that some people doing I.F. (intermittent fasting) do it every other day (the most extreme).. I am starting with one day a week.. then might move to two.

So far it’s 11am and I am fine.. actually not hungry at all, just very thirsty.. I forgot to dole out our vitamens and minerals today so I need to make sure to give Patrick some tonight with his dinner and I just went and gathered mine started for today.

I am glad I weighed this morning, I will be interested in seeing if I lose a pound.. since I am in ketosis already I KNOW I won’t lose 3 pounds (water weight) like I used to do with a day of fasting.. but all day I am BURNING MY BODY FAT because I am in ketosis! That is just Epic to me.

I found this free download of a book called the “Fast 5”.. I have not read it yet but I will.
If you want to check it out.. the pdf is free, here:

http://www.fast-5.com/

The premise of this particular WOE is not eating except in a few (5 with this book) hours window. For example not eating until you get home from work and then having 5 hours that you eat.

It makes sense to me and is supposed to control fat producing hormones.
Although I am not doing this particular program right now I am going to read it and see about trying it out.

Today I am just going to fast and maybe have veggie or chicken bullion (have organic paste bullion in the fridge).

Will come in and post how I feel every few hours…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So it’s 1:40pm and I am doing good. I have only mild hunger and have no problem not eating. I am drinking lots of liquids, hot tea, water and splenda 4C drink and taking my minerals. I also set aside a multi to take.

I am amazed at how good I feel right now. Not headachy at all and lots of energy (on my third load of laundry!). I stripped the bed also. I am very curious about IF.. there appear to be many different types.. all varying the hours fasting vs the hours eating.. one type I was doing already on occasion is the "Warrior" diet.. 20 hours fasting and 4 hours eating.. (I was making us a nice dinner but really not eating allot at all during the day, when I was in deep ketosis).. I think I could do this.. basically you just only eat in the evening and make it within a few hours.. no grazing.

I am continuing to read about I.F. I have to say it sure has stirred up allot of fighting on LCF. Several threads I have already read really have people coming in and posting that everyone is going to get an eating disorder but I don’t think they understand that people actually usually eat at least every other day.. that’s not “Fasting” as many people see it and MOST eat every day.. just only a 2-5 hour window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:10pm.. feeling a little tired.. would like to go lay in the sun for a while but it’s so cold that I am going to do it in my fuzzy robe.. just take a couple of magazines outside and lay down in the lounge a while - feeling a bit run down.

As far as I.F. I am leaning more toward “The Warrior Diet”.. I like the idea of eating as much as I want at night and fasting during the day.. I also think this would be a way to control calories because a huge meal is self limiting to me when I am in ketosis.. of course I will stick with LC as my “huge meal”.. *smile*

I am not starting this like tomorrow or anything.. I have to ease into things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:37pm..
Ok.. I am hungry, officially.
So I went out to lay in the lounge.. it was nice and fell asleep for a few minutes.. like maybe 5! And when I woke up I felt so good I decided to get my walking stuff on and take Suki and I for a walk! I only walked for a total of 30 min but we enjoyed it and it's extra exercise so it's great. Got my body heat up for sure. I no longer am cold!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well it's 9:40pm and I made it..
Tired and want to go on to bed.. not starving though.. nice.

Night, night...

It's an Epic Day!

2010-02-24T08:12:00.001-08:00

"TREES" artwork by one of my sisters...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well it’s an EPIC day! I have finally truly broken the stall I was at for REAL. I have lost 2 pounds in two days.

I was stalled for over 5 weeks.

I am so happy. I am VERY motivated. I am actually so motivated I am thinking of fasting tomorrow. (just thought of that). I am at least going to plan on one soon.. for one day. I joined the Intermittent Fasting thread on LCF (low carb friends) and am reading in my spare time. I like the idea of short one day fasts. I have fasting experience, good and bad!

Last night dinner:
Roasted Pork Tenderloin
Roasted Asparagus with Olive Oil and Balsamic (yum!).. I could so be a vegetarian again.

I also read an interesting bit of Trivia that ScandalouslyGlam
posted on LCF re: Joan Crawford:

“Waaaaaaaaaay back in 1926 Joan Crawford wanted to stand out from all the other young women flocking to Hollywood in hopes of fame and fortune. So she went on a diet that consisted of Steak for lunch with sliced tomatoes and steak for dinner with sliced tomatoes. She gave up ALL Starches and sweets though she did eat 1/2 a grapefruit every morning for breakfast. Within weeks she dropped 20 pounds.

The change was so dramatic that rumors spread that she had cosmetic surgery to make her eyes appear Bigger!! [Joan Crawford A Biography, by Bob Thomas c1968]

(she also was a not very good mother, I know...lol. I was just SO surprised to see this in print)“

I also love her siggy:

Losing weight is hard.
Being fat is hard.
Pick your hard.

Right On!!!

Here is a link to the thread:
http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/main-lowcarb-lobby/663288-joan-crawford-knew-what-all-about.html

Well today is going to be a very busy day.
I got a shipment of gemstones in and I am working on listing. It's going to take DAYS but I am thrilled with the quality. Hopefully I might actually create something for myself with a few of them!
Here is one of my sites (the gemstone one) if anyone is interested:

http://www.GemGourmet.etsy.com

This has turned into a pretty serious "stay at home job".. recently had my 1000th sale!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I had a conversation with Patrick a few days ago re: all the cooking (3 meals a day, every day for MONTHS) I have been doing and we decided he would grill one night a week and I would make a list of LowCarb friendly fast food and restaurants that have pick up/takeout and he will bring home dinner one night a week also.. SO that is two dinners a week I can NOT worry about!

Tonight he is actually going to pick up some of the new Grilled Hot Wings from KFC.. oh and double green beans... Hope they are good, we have not had them yet.

Breakfasts are usually not hard and I try to make double dinners so we have leftovers for lunches. This works well for both of us.

Well.. BACK to work I go.
Everyone have a fantastic day!

Monday, I love Mondays...

2010-02-22T09:16:00.001-08:00

Well looks like I FINALLY have broken thru my post induction stall. I have stayed at the same weight for 5 weeks.. finally today the scale shows another pound lost, which to some of you I am sure is nothing but for me a pound is great. I lose very slowly anyway.

I am SO glad, to be honest I was beginning to get a little peeved!!!

Just knowing my body has finally started to release some more weight is making me smile this morning.

I actually am pretty sure it is more than that but my body loves to hold on to water! According to my fitday I should actually be down more like 5#!

But Joy!! my post induction stall is OVER!

I have a little extra time today so I am reading some threads I have been wanting to on LCF (lowcarbfriends.com).
I am considering doing Intermittent Fasting (I am not sure exactly how they are doing their program yet) but I won’t fast more than one day a week.. maybe 3 weeks a month.

I am also reading more about Lyle McDonald’s program and refeeds. I know (or at least I think) this is more for people who are working out a lot or very close to their goal.. again not sure but this is what I think.. I just want to read some of the science behind it. NOT going to do any refeeds right now.

This week is going to be a nice week. Patrick and I went shopping for all our groceries for the week. Tonight we are having a nice ribeye on the grill and some fresh asparagus.. I think I may steam the asparagus this time.. I normally roast it with balsamic butter.. which I love but I kind of want a change… we will see.

Have a great week everyone, I know I will!

I'm Good~

2010-02-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Collage Art "Ophelia"...
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39845260

Well nothing much to report except I am doing well.. I have not lost any more weight yet but I am not concerned.. Still in Ketosis (I need to post that article about WHY we stall post induction.. for up to 6 weeks (I am going on four weeks stalled).

I feel good though, well great actually!

Life is good. I have sort of eased into my LC lifestyle and things are cruising along nicely. It’s not that difficult. I do want Patrick to grill some extra meats over the weekends so I can put them in the freezer.. will make lunch ideas easier.. I want to mix it up a bit.. so we don’t get bored.

Last night I made sauerkraut and kilbasa, I threw in a little fennel seed and it was pretty good.

Tonight I am making chicken soup with a leftover chicken from the deli.. I don’t have a lot in thehouse so far I have found spinach green beans celery and maybe some more kilbasa to be added.. I think it will be ok.. just want to stretch the food left in the house!

Need to make sure to keep up my minerals. I found a recipe I am going to try and also I need to look up the soup Fawn (on LCF) gave me.. it was a veggie type broth I made a few months ago that was good.

Anyway here is the homemade sports drink (for electrolytes) recipe I found:

* 2 quarts water
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt substitute (made with potassium chloride)
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 4 T lemon juice
* stevia to taste

I have not made it yet but I am going to..
Also wanted to post high potassium, LC foods:

 1 cup yogurt – 573 mg potassium (yogurt actually only has about 4 carbs per C)
 1 4 oz pork chop (boneless) – 514 mg
 1 cup cooked chopped broccoli – 458 mg
 ½ avocado – 436 mg
 ½ cup cooked spinach – 420 mg

Other high potassium low carb foods include:
 4 oz beef (sirloin) 495 mg
 4 oz grilled salmon – 480 mg
 1 cup chopped chicken breast meat – 358 mg
 2 Tablespoons tomato paste – 342 mg
 1 3X3” Miracle Brownie (see below – going to make these some time!)– 333 mg
 1 cup raw cauliflower – 303 mg
 2 T peanut butter – 240 mg
 1 cup black tea - 88 mg

Miracle Brownies Low Carb

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 35 minutes
Ingredients:
 1/4 lb butter (1 stick)
 2 cups erythritol (powdered, not granulated)
 1 Tbsp vanilla
 4 eggs (room temp is best)
 1/2 cup cocoa
 1 tsp salt
 4 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted
 2 cups flax seed meal
 1 Tbsp baking powder
 1/3 cup cream
 2/3 cup water
 1 cup artificial sweetener
 1 cup walnuts (optional)

Preparation:Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a 9X13 pan.

1) Cream the butter until fluffy.

2) Add the erythritol to the butter and cream them together until fully combined (aim for a fluffy texture).

3) Add the vanilla and beat the eggs into the mixture, one at a time.

4) Add salt and cocoa, beat well.

5) Add chocolate, beat until fluffy.

6) Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well to combine.

7) Pour into a pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes until top springs back. (You can also test if they're ready by sticking a toothpick in the brownies. If it comes out clean, or almost-so, they're done.)

8) Cool, then cut into 32 squares. If you cheat and eat one warm, know that the texture will be different once completely cool. That's when they become like real brownies. (They are even better the next day.)

Nutritional Analysis: Each of 32 brownies has 1 gram effective carbohydrate, plus 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of protein, 10 grams of fat, and 107 calories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will be adding steamed FRESH broccoli and spinach more often and ½ AVO every once in a while. I should do one of the list every day..

Well got to get back to work!
LC is amazing.

It's Been a Month Now...

2010-02-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marks four weeks back on LC. I feel great!!

Hum...
Well I am up a pound this morning.. Over the last few days it keeps going up and down this one pound.. I KNOW my body is getting ready to drop 3-4#!!! I just have to drink my water and hang on!

I have to write about how well I did over the weekend!! My sis and her family came to visit, her oldest was celebrating his 13th BD! We had such a fantastic weekend!!! AND I Stayed on plan effortlessly all weekend and was also in ketosis every time I checked..

Patrick and I went to Awful Waffle with My sis and her family for breakfast Sat. AM. I had a “steak melt” sans bread over a small side salad for “brunch”.. it was pretty good.. I added some Worstershire on top.

For dinner Sat. night we had Joe's Crab Shack !!! I LOVE Joe's!..

Patrick and I had lobster claws, snow crab, shrimp and some sausage (one of the “boils” they serve on ice..) it was a perfect meal!!! Yum and I love that he is doing this with me SO much!!
..
Sunday we went to Cracker Barrel to have brunch with them before they left.. I stayed LC (ordered off the LC menu they have).

Sun. night we had leftover blackened pork chops and lots of nuts thru the day.. and cali/broc mix..

I am SO proud of myself.. I feel so good. I did it.. I had a fantastic weekend and stayed on track, that is a very good feeling.

Yesterday was a good LC day as well.. I actually only had 12 net carbs, I LOVE Fitday! It is really helping me stay on track.

Last night I made hot dogs and sauerkraut for dinner, I REALLY liked this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sat we took my sister's oldest (for his 13th BD) to one of the smaller parks here in Orlando (The Fun Spot).

They have three go-kart tracks and I rode one of the double karts with Patrick one time. It was fun, he rode on and off the rest of the day.

My sis and I found this VERY tall hydraulic swing ride.. It was called "The Scream Swing"..

Here is an article about it I found on line:

"a recent addition to Fun Spot USA in Kissimmee, is really just a dramatic, gigantic, mother of all playground swing sets. Two long poles carry back-to-back rows of two riders each for a capacity of eight. The seats have lap bars but no shoulder harnesses. The poles start to sway -- one forward, one backward -- building momentum and larger arcs until the cars are swinging wide and parallel to the ground -- and then beyond parallel over 90deg! -- and over the nearby parking lot.

"I'll scream if you will," Justine, a teenage tourist from Michigan, says to me in line.

You've got a deal, Justine.

We start forward, then glide back. Each pass is a bit wider than the one previous. Justine is all hands up in the air, waving them like she just doesn't care. I'm a gripper. We both whoop and holler. She's a veteran of thrill-heavy Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio, and she had just been to Islands of Adventure, too, but this simple pleasure works for her.

Eventually we're at the peak, hovering over the parking lot. There's a short moment of weightlessness, but it's long enough to think "I'm glad I'm not parked right there."

On the opposite side of the arc, we're treated to a backs-to-the-ground, back-to-nature sight that's pure Florida sky and clouds. Swing, scream, repeat. Swing, scream repeat"..

Anyway it was a BLAST and scream I did.. my sis on the other hand, laughed the entire time!

The Week in Review...

2010-02-05T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a phenomenally brilliant week!

My second week on Induction has been great.

I have not lost anymore weight but I HAVE lost inches.

I have had energy THRU the roof ( I actually don't know that I have felt energy like this before on LC - I have been taking a fair amt. of supplements this time around).

I feel clear headed, calm, much less moody, highly motivated and hardly have any hunger at all (I know it will come back.. it always does).

I have been eating small meals (more like snacks really) three times a day and making a nice dinner for Patrick and I each night..

I have not been over 20 carbs and some days struggle to get that many.

I have not touched nuts (HARD) and only had 2oz of cheese a day, this is prob. my most difficult accomplishment so far because I would rather eat cheese more than ANYTHING.

I have gone down over 2" in my waist and an inch in my hips.. which with not actually losing on the scale, I am VERY glad I measured.

The only issue I am having is drinking enough water. I am working on that!

A few other thoughts...

It's been very interesting how little hunger I have had this past week. I have actually had to make myself eat a few times and would notice it's 3pm before I would get hungry at ALL.

I have binge eating issues in the past if I restrict food too much so I am eating as much as I need but keeping a REAL eye on how much I actually DO need. Some days this last week it has not been much.

I know my hunger comes and goes and I have to learn not to push myself too much (use Ketosis to further starve myself!) it's very tempting to just NOT eat when I am not hungry - but a few small snacks thru the day keep me going fine.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! I know I will!

2010-02-04T14:22:00.001-08:00

MORE Energy!

2010-02-04T14:11:00.000-08:00

I Have Crazy Energy!!!!

Ok.. I am not getting on the scale until Monday and I am staying VLC and lower cal (as best as I can) until then. I would love to see a few more pounds off on Monday!

I had to write about this energy! I can't believe how great I am feeling! I feel like I did years ago before I was so overweight. I can't imagine how I am going to actually feel when I am more slim.

My sister and her family are coming this weekend and I am working VERY hard on cleaning the house.. I just got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the bathroom floor! I’ve NEVER done that! I feel so good.. I have a crazy amount of energy! If my back would stop hurting I would be a crazy whirlwind working on this house. I just can't express how I feel.

We will be taking her son to the sky coaster Saturday... the fact that we are going made me think about how much I miss out on life because of this weight. There are so many things I just won't do right now.. like ride a bike or roller blade or get on that freaking sky coaster! I can't wait until those changes come.

Later....

It’s 2pm..
And I am still not really very hungry. I need to make sure I don't go overboard and use this ketosis appetite suppression as a reason to push myself too far.. I don't need to starve myself. It's so tempting though.. I get caught up in that "I want it now" mentality.

I am going to go with this while I have the appetite suppression and I am sure I will get hungry soon enough.

Later...

It's 5:15pm and I was feeling a bit of nausea.. I decided to eat a bit. I had some Kosher salami warmed in the micro. it was GOOD.

Tonight I am making pork chops and broccoli with cheese sauce. yum I actually LOVE broccoli now.

Just Catching Up Witch Ya...

2010-02-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

Happy February, hope it's a month full of Lurve for ya!~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I am feeling MUCH better now!
Energy thru the roof today which is good because I have to clean like crazy!

I still have not lost any more weight after my orig. Induction "woosh" but I am experienced at this and know my body and it's just trying to reach an equalibrium. I could go a couple more weeks even, with no loss but soon enough I will hopefully get some pounds down!

I have continued to be in ketosis for the last three weeks so I KNOW I am buring fat. A couple of days last week I am sure I ate too many calories.. I just recently (day before yesterday) started keeping track with Fitday.. it's time consuming but how else will I keep real.?!

I guess I need to just suck it up and do what I SAID I was going to do and just do this WOE no matter what. If I never lose another pound at least maybe I won’t get diabetes!

Last night we had bacon cheeseburgers and Brussels sprouts. YUM

Today I have not eaten much.. a couple ounces of cheese only, so far. I am just not that hungry and I am going with that. If and when my appetite comes back (it always does) I will eat more.

I am making Artic Char and roasted green beans for dinner tonight.. Artic Char is one of my VERY fav. fish.

Feeling pretty good.. I’ve been working on the house all day because Stacy (my sista) and JB (her hubbie) and the boys are coming Sat. We are taking Conrad to the Sky Coaster for his BD. Maybe some day I will actually get the nerve to get on that thing!

It's going to be a Fantastic Fun Weekend!

Today's A Betta Day!

2010-01-31T06:23:00.000-08:00

Don't have bunches of time but I wanted to note that I am feeling much better and I have stayed below 25 carbs (mostly below 20) the past week and have stayed in Ketosis the entire time. Official Weigh in is tomorrow but I couldn't wait, got on the scale only to find I have not lost any more YET. No worries!

A friend sent me this.. it made me smile:

Will catch up later!

Still Rollin' Right Along and ARGGGG!!!!

2010-01-29T07:30:00.000-08:00

Well it's been a while since I have posted.

Things are good. I am doing better now that Ketosis has finally kicked in. I LOVE Ketosis. I think it is amazing the way it helps my hunger. It's nice to have what I think must be "normal" hunger, you know the type of hunger you feel when your blood sugar is not blasting you with cravings.

I think this is what healthy hunger must feel like. I can look at the clock and see that it's been 3-5 hours and I didn't realize I worked right thru lunch.

I have been crazy busy this past week. I have a home based business. Well 3 actually!

My Gallery Website:
www.CaryMartinDesigns.com

My Etsy Lovely LUXE store:
www.LovelyLuxeJewels.etsy.com

My Etsy CaryMartinDesigns store:
www.CaryMartinDesigns.etsy.com

My Etsy gemstone store:
www.GemGourmet.etsy.com

I stay pretty busy and especially since I just got back from my HUGE Gemshow and plunged us into debt again! I have pressure (well it's pressure I put on myself of course) to make this back as soon as possible so I am crazy busy. It is cool to not be constantly thinking about food. Low Fat diets suck. Period.

I am feeling PRETTY freaking bad right now because I am major hormonal. Serioulsy don't look at me like that I might have to bitch slap you

and then feel really bad about it and start crying. and then 5 minutes later tell you how much I love you ... I am totally freaky like that right now...

Did you know that we hold estrogen in our fat cells (excess estrogen). I learned this years ago when I was Dx with PCOS (Poly Cyctic Ovarian Symdrome) - and when we lose fat the excess estrogen is released into our bloodstream. so THERE. I am really NOT feeling all sweet and fluffy right now.

So far so good...

2010-01-28T08:09:00.001-08:00

Working on a post...
can't get my pix to load correctly right now.. WTF Blogger?

Wow, What's this? IT'S ENERGY!!!!

2010-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

ENERGY!

I just had to write about how WELL, hell AMAZING I am feeling.. I am a bundle of energy. It's crazy. I realized I have been feeling like a slug so much in the past. I am getting LOTS done around the house and managing to get some more gemstone listings (one of my businesses!) up at the same time.

I used to bitch about not being able to handle the house and my business at the same time but if my energy stays this grand I will for sure be caught up fairly soon.

I feel very good. I also am very clear headed only my mind won't stop running thru all the things I NEED to do. I started a list. (soon I imagine I will have lists for my lists!).

I am also seeming to be coming out of what was apparently a depression. It's sad because I didn't know I was feeling down. It's sort of like you didn't know your eyesight was that bad until you put on glasses.

I have been taking 5HTP which helps control cravings and also helps depression... It seems to be working, I just ordered another bottle.

I am going to be weighing Friday just because I am curious how I have done this week so far. Of course Monday will still be official weigh in day.

I am on day 10 of being back on LC.

Last night I made Italian spiced meatballs (an even mixture of ground beef and sage breakfast sausage and LOTS of Penzey's Pizza spice.

I mixed it all together with an egg and rolled them up and cooked them in a pan with a little peanut oil - just about a quarter inch in the pan.

We then dipped them in the Waldon's Spicy BBQ sauce (0 Carbs for 2T) and had Italian green beans on the side.

Meal was maybe a total of 5 carbs and REALLY good. But how can you beat Italian meatballs!

2010-01-18T05:32:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Sunshine!

Official weigh in is on Mondays..so I got on the scale.

I have lost 4# my first week back on induction which is RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!!! I am re-reading the Atkins book and it’s a good thing. It says that normally women can expect around 8 pounds for induction and men 10. That is the two weeks of induction. I am one week in.

I did realize I am not to be having nuts and also eating too much cheese so I had Patrick hide the nuts - that way he can have them when he wants and I'm not tempted. I will add them later on.

I want to do induction for a long time, at least until I really stop losing for 3 weeks in a row. I admit that I wanted to see like 8 pounds, like I used to when starting Induction but I know I won't see those numbers again. Well also before I was really carbed up… Since I was just coming off WeightWatchers when I started LC again I am sure I was not that full of excess glycogen thus not that much water weight which is what the 4 pounds truly was, but NOW I am in ketosis so I am burning fat.

What many Atkins followers don't understand is that you burn a combo of dietary fat and actual body fat. IF you over eat too much fat you won't lose body fat so you really STILL have to watch that you don't go overboard.

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ * ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ATKINS!!!♥

I am reading around on line for inspiration this chilly morning and ran across this success story I like:
http://www.lowcarb.ca/stories/story014.html

I truly LOVE this from his Top 10 advice :

5. Do nothing half-assed. If you are dieting, be strict. If you are exercising, push yourself . Don’t do anything halfway or you will develop the habit of doing things halfway. The number one enemy of the dieter is the attitude of “I’ll go a little at a time.” It rarely works.

6. Do not weight daily. Weigh once a week at first, then once a month later. Constant weigh ins are either really really good, or really really bad. And while really really good doesn’t do a whole lot besides make you smile, really, really bad can get you to quit.

I especially need to stop weighing so often. I really do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night I made a great meal.

I pounded chicken breast flat and laid slices of cream cheese and ham on one side… then added lots of pepper and garlic powder and a little salt and folded the other half over. I had microwaved a few pieces of bacon until almost done and then laid them over the chicken in an 8 x8 pan. Roasted in the oven for about 35 min. (I like my chicken pretty well done)..

Had to broil it a bit so the bacon was good and crisp. I had earlier in the day sliced a cucumber and a half (just for the two of us) and marinated it in a LC Italian dressing with chopped green onion.. it was simple and surprisingly good.

I Want to Go SHOPPING! already...

2010-01-14T09:44:00.001-08:00

Thursday, January 14, 2010

So.. I ate too much PB and nuts yesterday but still down a pound since yesterday. I don’t think I was as carbed up as I have been before when re-starting induction because I am not losing as much as fast. I am not going to really count calories or watch what I eat (except carbs) until my weight loss stops for 10 days in a row or such. Sooner or later I will have to AGAIN.

I had 24 carbs yesterday.
about 30 the day before.. (on Southbeach I have not been doing as low carbs as I was on Induction Atkins).

No worries though.
Doing good. Looking at clothes today! I want to buy some new stuff but not sure if I really can yet (cash). I found this outfit I want at NewPort-news.com:

I want it in the blue.. it’s a long tunic cami and long dolman sleeve sweater jacket. I want these pants too:

They are boot cut, control top “leggings’.. (I can't stand normal leggings on heavy women, I am sorry you need to be a waif to pull these things off!)

But these are bootcut and have a control top! How cool is that?

I could wear them with the above outfit because the jacket will cover my arse and hips. God help my arse and hips~

Looking at clothes keeps me motivated.

I Heart Shirataki Noodles...

2010-01-12T16:10:00.001-08:00

It's true love...

Today has been a good day.

I am feeling pretty tired and I know it's just carb withdrawal. I am taking LOTS of minerals (always helps) and tonight I am making a great dinner.

I had some shirataki noodles in the bottom of my fridge and decided to play around with them for lunch.

I thought about what was all in "fried rice" and came up with a sort of "recipe" for the noodles that turned out so good!

I rinsed them really well in hot water and then "dried" them in a skillet until the water had evaporated. I threw in a little garlic and green onion and grated ginger and a T of peanut oil and sautéed them.

Then I added chicken (pulled off our chicken leftover from last night) and an egg and cooked it and at the very end added a little chili paste, soy sauce and toasted sesame oil.

It was so good I am making more tonight for dinner when Patrick gets home.

I LOVE how versatile Shirataki is.

Now if I could find a way to do the peanut noodles that would be the bomb.

Officially Back On Low Carb

2010-01-11T13:18:00.001-08:00

Nice Sunrise - Where does the road lead?

Well I thought that was a cool photo to represent a new beginning. The sun just dawning on a new day and a highway that leads on down the road.

Starting back on Low Carb today.
Not much fanfare, just going to do it.

Went to the store, stocked up. I've done this before. I know it's the best thing for not only my weight but my health (blood pressure, blood sugar.. etc).

Didn't feel like doing much of a menu. Not really wanting to get too difficult with cooking and such right now. Have a desire to keep it simple for a while.

I will have to shake things up soon enough, but for now I want it easy.

Hard Night Last Night...

2010-01-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Well last night was hard. I am such an emotional eater, I got upset about something and just started pigging on almonds, cheese and crackers. I truly was very hungry when it started but then I just kept on eating WAY too much. I just ate on auto pilot.

I know the fact that I let myself get too hungry was part of the cause I am also so damn spastic about dieting right now, reading constantly, reviewing stuff on line, watching diet programs I have recorded on the TV. My mind is saturated and over whelmed. It's too much.

I also decided I am too hard on myself.

I woke up this morning with a thought in my mind that I need to take better emotional care of myself. Let my mind free a bit and allow myself to FEEL.

I really need to nurture myself more. This was the first thought that popped in my head as I was waking this morning and I have learned to honor those thoughts.

Anyhoo. I looked at the fact that I had three out of four good days and decided that I would be happy with that (it’s 75%~!!) and not beat myself up and get right back on.

I AM going to lose allot of weight in 2010 and I know I will get in my zone soon enough.

In the mean time I need to enjoy my life! I don’t have to have the “wrong” foods to do that. Whatever those foods are.. I know they are white stuff and SUGAR (I started reading my "Good Calories - Bad Calories again).. I am going to incorporate more protein in an effort to not be so hungry all day long!

So basically I need to stop with the diet over-saturation -constantly bombarding my mind and vision with everything diet, in such a spastic way and learn to enjoy my life and relax a bit more! Of course that does not mean I have to eat crap, I just need to STOP BEING SO UPTIGHT and obsessing!

Become a bit more ZEN. Learn to notice and embrace all the goodness around me and let it flow a little more.

In a Word, Inspired...

2010-01-04T15:46:00.001-08:00

Part of a collage I did a couple of years ago...

Well doing pretty good today.
Lost 3.5 pounds since yesterday. Love the beginning of a new diet for a quick few pounds freaking GONE!

Dealing with a little hunger tonight, I know I am not TRULY hungry though.

It's just almost 7pm and it's time for dinner only Patrick's not home yet and I like to wait until he's here. Had my afternoon popcorn snack. I LOVE the SmartPop. I can eat the entire bag (not the sad little 100 cal. one either) on my program.

Today's been good.
I am feeling inspired and motivated. I love the fact that I live in FL. I can't wait until I am more comfortable in my skin at the beach.

Well until later... NightyNite.

2010-01-03T04:13:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I love this art. This represents metamorphosis or the phoenix rising out of the ashes of an old life that's left behind. This represents change to me and it's very inspirational in my mind. I love to look at it. It makes me feel joy inside.

2010 is going to be an epic year.

I had my Black Eyed Pea Salad on New Years Day and also some yesterday. Today I am back on my diet.

Today I am actually going to fast (well I always have broth). I have some Pho paste for a nice broth I will have at dinner time.

I am only fasting one day. I am considering one day a week.

I quit smoking (for good a couple of months ago - I had smoked on and off in an attempt to quit for about an year) and it's times like these I would LOVE to have a cig!

I always associated fasting with cig days. So I will be fighting off any desire I have for one today.. No worries!

Monday's will be official weigh in day. I went ahead and weighed today just to see where I was at before my Fast day.. 232.5. (ate LOTS of black eye peas and corn bread over the last two days!). I am expecting to lose 3# in my fast today. We will see.

Sweet Sunday to everyone!

A New Start, Even Before The New Year...

2009-12-29T11:54:00.000-08:00

Getting a jump start on 2010. It’s going to be an EPIC year!

I wanted to comment that I almost deleted my past blog posts, I want this to be a fresh new start but then I thought about it and decided to keep all of them. I am myself a compilation of my past experiences and my diet is also.

So although this is a brand new start, I am keeping all my old entries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I weighed 234 yesterday morning.
I just checked my journal from Jan. last year and I weighed 241. So I at least didn’t have my normal 10 pound a year gain. I was actually glad to see that.

I have not posted my weight much in the past on my blog. I am going to do it this year. I am also joining Weight Watchers some time in Jan. or Feb., not sure I will do the diet to a "T" but it will be good to have the social aspect of the meetings.

I have learned that Low Carb is good for getting me motivated again. It cuts my cravings and makes it easier to diet (Ketosis side effect is a much lower appetite). I am not sure how long I will stay on Low Carb but I will be starting it pretty soon. Maybe I will plan on staying on it until I am 15 or so pounds down.

My immediate plan is to finish off any foods in the house that are “normal” foods.. (not eating any crap.. no more Rum Balls or Christmas Cookies.. no Egg Nog or such). I am using up the foods we have left in the house, eating small amounts (low portions) and just counting calories until foods are gone and I have to go shopping, then we are starting Low Carb for a while.

Low Carb is pretty hard on my electrolytes. I lose minerals allot so I have to take a massive amt. of supplements while I am doing the diet. (Atkins) so I won’t stay on it for months at a time, (at least I have not been able to in the past).

I am also going to get back into Raw this summer.

If I could wave a magic wand...

and have any weight loss I would dream of it would be to lose 90#. I want to weigh 144 – (I am 5’- 4”).

Using different plans thru this transition will also definitely be in my future. I get bored and like to read different diet books (plans) and shake up my way of eating from time to time with different plans.

I have not started back to my walking. Will start again soon.

Confusion and Uncertainty...

2009-11-22T07:23:00.000-08:00

Hum... well I have been away for a while. I have not really been able to keep focused on anything. Not diet, not my job, not the house... nothing. I am truly not exactly sure why, just maybe being lazy?

A few things have brought be back around. I spent the day with my very gouragous cousin L. and she always gets me motivated. She is very dynamic and svelte. Always has been. We talked about life, love and being over 40.

I spent the day with her while she tried on beautiful size 8 clothes and while I helped her in and out of these beautiful things wished in the back of my mind, like I have 100 times that I could be wearing these stunning clothes. If only to be trying them on!

Then Friday I went out with my friend D. We went to a SKA club in Ybor. We were old broads for sure... but enjoyed it bunches. I wished so much I was not so overweight. I would have enjoyed myself MUCH more.

My weight has been on my mind all this time I just have not re-committed myself. It gets more difficult as the holidays come around. It's like knowing that I want to bake and enjoy the holidays just puts me in a frame of mind that I should just give in until Jan.

This happens every year. I have been fighting this fat for over 13 years.

Every year during the holidays I do the same thing. First I make a commitment to just bake a few things, on chosen days and the rest of the time diet.

Like only allow myself Thanksgiving and the day after off. Also I do the same thing around Christmas. I decide I will diet most of the month and only bake 3-4 days out of it. Knowing that I am going to have to make my Christmas Snowflakes. (It's just not Christmas if I don't. It feels just wrong). They are such a tradition and they feel important to me. I always make them for Patrick to take to the office and I think they make him feel special that day while everyone oooh's and awwww's them. They are pretty spectacular if I say so myself *smile*.. check out a pix of them:

Gooood Morning!

2009-10-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Just got in from my walk and took a nice cool shower.. I know I can't stop bitching about the heat but I am ready for some cooler weather! It was 90 deg already when I got in this morning (10:45am). I would sure love a little chill in the air on my walk damnit!

I would love to walk on this path! But alas I live in Orlando.

I still don't love to sweat, well I love how the walking makes me feel but I can't wait to get in the shower. I don't like to stay sweaty anyway. It's the Southern Bell in me~ *smiles*

Yesterday I was so busy that I actually missed one of my snacks and got busy and only ate half of my lunch and came in under 1000 cal for the whole day.

I have a breakfast I love now.. it's an Ezekiel wrap (sprouted grains and NO gluten!) and two egg whites with one egg added in. I saute some tomato (usually a whole small one) and a couple ounces of onion and then throw in the egg and add lots of hot sauce.. I love this and it keeps me full for quite some time. I have also been adding 50 cal. worth of cheese although I truly need to give up all dairy!

My 40's are going to be the decade of change! They already are.

Today is a good day smile

2009-10-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

I love orchids.. isn't that beautiful? I just wanted to start the day off with a nice flower pix. It made me smile, hope it will you too.

Today is a better day than I have had in quite some time.

I was a bit disappointed but at least I am back where I was before our food fest this past weekend. I know I am doing it right. I started walking again last Sat. and I feel better already.

I actually tried to jog a bit on a downhill area in our neighborhood but my big toe started hurting pretty badly so I stopped. I have had issues in the past with my feet (been Dx with arthritis in my feet) and I know that hard walking like I am doing will give me almost as good results as jogging and I will try jogging again from time to time until I don’t have issues with my feet.

I have heard too many stories about people hurting their feet and knees jogging when they are still pretty overweight.

I walked 40 min. again today. It was a tiny bit easier than on Monday but still a VERY good workout and I am always extremely hot when I get back in. I can’t believe it’s Oct. and it’s still in the 90’s here. Even at 10am it’s already so steamy. I can’t wait until it cools off a bit. I truly miss the Fall.

I am keeping my commitment to myself to walk 2 miles a day, every day, until Oct. 24th when we leave for Vegas/Sedona. I want to be able to do lots of walking in Vegas and hiking on Sedona and the walking here in this heat will certainly prepare me a little for up there.

Monday thru yesterday (Wed) I kept my calories average 1350 a day. Today is going to be around 1250.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow.. I had to write about something I discovered that is truly GOOD!
It's Ancient Harvest Red Quinoa. Quinoa contains more protein than any other grain and is gluten free.

Because of my previous Atkins diet I have had a fear of any grains and rarely eat them. I am changing that and adding this on a regular basis. I made it with organic veggie broth instead of water and it was divine!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I've been reading a couple Blogs trying to get/keep motivated.

I love this one, she is doing so great! Her blog is very inspirational, she just got in the 100's! (I can't WAIT!!) check it out:

bigbottomblogger.blogspot.com

Thank you to Greta for the nice comment! I didn't think anyone at all was reading.
Your blog has helped bring me out of my funk a bit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another fun site that is truly crazy (advise, don't look at it when you are hungry.. it's insane!

Well and just OMG.. this site is hilarious:
thisiswhyyourefat.com

WTF? Velveeta fudge?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More inspirational reading:

Wow.. love this story of a woman who lost 180 pounds without bypass surgery.. one thing she says about telling God that if she got one more chance to lose weight, that she would somehow learn to love and respect her body.

I am right there right now. That is how I feel… I have abused myself for so long.. it’s time. Here is her story:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal/182307-lori-bells-story-180-pounds-lost.html

Doing So So...

2009-10-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well honestly I did excellent all last week and then the weekend came and Patrick and I were running around shopping for clothes for our trip to Vegas/Sedona (Oct 24-Nov 2) and I guess I was just in too much of a celebratory mood because when it came time to eat I just ate whatever I wanted and I wanted rich fatty food, booze AND dessert.

I pretty much ate whatever I wanted Sat and Sun and today (Monday) I am back on.
I have to not do this on the weekends, this tends to pretty much wipe out all the good I do during the week.

I have been thru this before. This is something I fall back into if I am not careful.

I am not weighing for a couple of days.

Today I decided since I had great walking in both Sat and Sunday (hours at the mall on Sat and at least an hour walking around shopping on Sun. too) that I would start a commitment to myself to walk EVERY DAY until we leave on the 24th for Vegas.

I want to have good stamina to walk as much as we can on our trip.

So I walked 40 min. this morning and will continue on, even on Sundays, until we leave.

Still here!

2009-09-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

Proper Way to Weigh Ones Self

It's been too long so I need to catch up.

I have been dieting still, (well on and off.. had a few fall backs) but I am doing ok.

I am a jewelry designer so I have been very busy gearing up for the holiday season.

I have four Etsy shops:

My Etsy Lovely LUXE Jewels Store:
www.LovelyluxeJewels.etsy.com

My Etsy CaryMartinDesigns store:
www.CaryMartinDesigns.etsy.com

My Etsy gemstone store:
www.GemGourmet.etsy.com

My JoeyAndRocky store:
www.JoeyandRocky.etsy.com

With the holidays soon approaching I am crazy busy making jewelry and stocking my shops. I also sell gemstones to other designers.

I was just having such a hard time focusing and something had to give and I didn't want it to be my diet so I backed off the Raw (for a while only!) and went back to my old standby of just counting calories.

It's not the best I know but for me it's better than just falling off completely..

I have actually managed to lose two more pounds.

I am unfortunately not veggie anymore right now either.

I am eating alot of convenience foods like Amy's meals at night and also a few Lean Cuisine, etc. This diet of mine is actually very simular to what you would be doing on Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem, portion controlled pre-packaged stuff. Like I said I know it's not the best long term but right now it's the lessor of two evils. No dieting or doing this.

I'm also haveing Starkist tuna kits as a snack (210 cal and high protein) almost every day in the afternoon and making my own Egg a muffins in the AM. (English muffins, canadian bacon, low fat cheese and an egg).

Staying under 1500 calories a day.. it's easy and pretty much a no brainer for me.

Several years ago I lost 50 pounds this way (of course gained it back) but it is second nature to me so it leaves my mind free to deal with business right now. You pretty much eat almost the same thing every day.

On weekends I make us a huge batch of scrambelled egg whites and tons of veggies and we have English muffins with Raw honey. It's good and it's nice to sit down together and enjoy an actual breakfast.

I AM GOING BACK TO RAW soon.. Planning on for sure Jan. 1st.

Food today:

Egg a muffin - 335
Lean Cuisine lunch - 360

Slip Sliding Away...

2009-09-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

The last couple of days have been a struggle... It was the Labor Day weekend and Patrick and I did allot of work on the yard.. each day I started out great and did well Raw (ended my Juice Feast at 13 days and 11 pounds lost but I have gained 3 back) until late in the evening and I ended up eating Amy's meals and such because I was so hungry.

I need to start having something on hand in the house I can eat at night that is raw and more filling (have to get a new dehydrator!). Maybe a muesli with almond milk… or make some kale, or daikon or zucchini chips or some crackers or something I can munch on.

I WILL BE HAVING A GREEN SMOOTHIE TONIGHT FOR DINNER!

Food today:

Frozen banana, frozen strawberry coconut water smoothie
Sm handful goji berries
1/3 honeydew
1 Ezekiel wrap (toasted) with 1/3 C hummus
pineapple around 4pm

I am also planning on another juice feast.. This time for 14 days. I will plan on starting toward the end of the month.

I need to order the nut milk bags.

I was thinking it would be good to do planned out menus of daily juices so I can be well prepared but ahead of time but actually it’s hard to know what organic fruits/veggies the stores will have. I guess I won’t be doing that.. I will just use what good organic fruits and veggies I can find.

REALLY Struggling...

2009-09-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

The last two days.. my poor psyche has really been in turmoil...

Well I am laying in bed this morning (just bought an amazing bed from a Friend in Fernandina Beach and my sister Stacy and her husband JB loaded it up and hauled it to us.. thank you SO much you two! It’s the most amazing bed we have ever owned)..

Anyway I am laying there in bed thinking about my out of control eating was last night (pizza pig out) and how in the past with my attempts to lose weight and change my eating lifestyle, I just seem to give in when I get really hungry. It’s like I just throw a food temper tantrum.. like an incorrigible child. It’s really like that.

It makes since I guess since I am changing my mindset and setting limits and boundaries and changing something that has been fundamental (if also WRONG) in my life for a very long time (eating whatever I what, whenever I want in as much quantity as I want).. It’s like I am having another part of me trying to rebel against the changes I want to make. It's causing serious inner turmoil.

So this morning I was reading other's blogs to work on re-focusing my mind on my Raw food world and wow, thank you to the universe for showing me this blog entry from “The Raw Model” (link is here: http://rawmodelcom.blogspot.com/2007/05/add-in-good-stuff-now-worry-about.html )

This is the entry:

‘ADD THE GOOD STUFF IN NOW, WORRY ABOUT CUTTING THE BAD STUFF OUT LATER…’

“A big thing that I learned on my path to health with living foods was that the idea of sacrifice for health will not produce a healthy person, and certainly not a happy one.

Because I was working in New York at the time, I was really trying my best to immediately lose weight and develop more lean muscle. So I cut out everything bad. Or at least I attempted to. For a few weeks, I dropped ice cream, pizza, indian food, and falafels. I was doing two green smoothies a day, plus apples. I was losing weight fast, but in my mind I was suffering. I was still addicted to those foods, and by cutting myself off right away, the weak part of me was angry and resentful towards the disciplined part of me. I was going crazy, and I would reach an occasional breaking point.

Wandering the streets of the East Village like a drug fiend, I would walk into a pizza place and order two slices. After eating them too quickly, I would realize that I was yet to be satisfied. So next, I would get a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Soon after adding that whole pint to the pizza, I was starting to feel the food-coma setting in. I would return to my apartment and lay in bed, feeling guilty and bloated. I would swear that I would learn my lesson, but these episodes would continue off and on for months.

I wasn't in the proper mindstate yet. I was too worried about what I was cutting out, and not focusing on what I should have been adding in. This is the key. Don't focus on what you want to cut out right away. Of course cooked starches and cooked oils and refined sugar are horrible and should be completely eliminated from your body, but that will happen with time. As long as you continue to feel as if you are depriving yourself of these items, you won't be ready yet. What I am saying, is that the best path early on is to just add good things in, and the rest will work itself out with time. The body will know what is good, and the idea of canceling out your healing foods with garbage again will quickly lose its appeal.

So get your green juice in everyday. Get a green smoothie in your body everyday for breakfast. Make sure you eat a grapefruit, and one avocado a day is magic. Make a superfood smoothie with coconuts and raw chocolate and goji berries and bee pollen. Eat highly mineralized raw foods. If you still desire something else, go for it. But sooner, rather than later, you will shift towards 95-100% raw without having that feeling of regret and guilt and sacrifice.

I knew the truth...I had experienced the "raw high" after those first two weeks. Nevertheless...the old habits were ingrained in my mind, and I still desired the garbage. Now, I can honestly say that I eat everything that I want. The only difference is this: What I want now isn't what I used to want. I don't miss the pizza, the burgers, the eggs and pancakes. Thats not even food in my mind anymore. I don't want it like I used to. And this will happen to you as well. Just add in the goodies, and the rest will take care of itself.

Peace and love ALL WAYS...

Anthony”

Also this reply to his post is right on:

Bless you for sharing this! It's exactly this kind of honesty that helps people that are excited about raw truly transform into people that are freed from food addictions. Raw Dogma can be really intense and misleading to the seeker. It is entirely possible to feel nutritionally elated and at the same time experience a sort of spiritual bankruptcy 'cause your mental is just not on.

Suddenly stripping yourself of all your comfort foods leaves alot of the psyche bared and ready to rumble. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I see alot of parallels between the two. Just stopping drinking is nearly impossible w/o a spiritually based program of recovery running in tandem. And if you do succeed in staying dry you're likely miserable and angry, seeing as you've just lost the only coping mechanism you had.

I find food issues to be surprisingly similar...

I could not have said it any better.. THIS is what I am dealing with right now.. I am divided in my psyche.

I WANT and need to eat Raw but my inner child is revolting. I have to be less hard on myself and take it more slow…

This is also very enlightening.. I have to STOP kicking myself and just go with the transition as I can and as it comes. I can continually re-focus back on Raw as often as I need to but most important is that I just ease up on myself.

Wednesday~ Day 10 of my Juice Feast!

2009-09-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

I hope to lose an additional 2 pounds before coming off of juice feast on Sunday.

I REALLY need to do this juice feast for a longer period of time.. maybe after I finish my 14 days on Sunday AM, I could continue on to do most days juice feast and when I feel I HAVE to eat I can have a raw dinner or even maybe an Amy’s Organic like I was doing.

I need to not get into raw gourmet a bunch yet - I have bought 5 recipe books!.. I do want to make some of those Kale chips in the dehydrator when I come off my juice feast. I also found a recipe for marinated and dehydrated eggplant, it sounds very good.

I just need to be sure to not eat lots of nuts and seeds (fat) and get too into making bunches of gourmet raw until I lose allot more weight.

My sister and her family are coming over Friday night and spending the night before we head to St. Pete for the weekend. I Was trying to think of what I can make for everyone for Breakfast on Saturday before they we to mom’s and decided to do fruit smoothies. I can buy lots of frozen fruit and also make JB and Patricks and the boys with protein powder I guess.. I can use almond milk for them also.

I really want to get this weight off once and for all. I am tired of f*cking around with it.

Interesting enough I was VERY hungry at 1:30 pm and drank a decent size glass (maybe a cup and a third?) of almond milk and it’s an hour later and I am still not hungry.

I am a bit tired but it's just detox.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My vitamix arrived!

I am having my first green smoothie (well that I made).. I used a half pound of spinach, 2 stalks celery, juice of one orange and flesh of one mango.. added half a dropper of stevia (almost too much sweetness though) and some superfoods greens powder, it’s pretty good, it seems to be really whipped and full of air.. I wonder if the greens powder did that?

Juice today:

3 apples
water
1 mango and ½ pineapple - 11am
Almond Milk (VERY hungry) 1:30pm
Wholefoods sparkling mineral water with whole blue berries 2:30pm)
Green Smoothie! (full of air?) spinach, celery, orange juice & mango w/ greens powder

Go, Go, Go...

2009-09-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

Wow I have been very busy today.. It's been cool because it helps me to keep my mind off food.

I have done well today.
I started back walking yesterday(did 2.5 miles yesterday and today).

I want to be able to hike when we go to Sedona in October.

I am working on cleaning the house, doing laundry, all that freaking fun stuff. Good God does anyone else EVER get caught up? I sure never do.

Getting a delivery tomorrow, a foundation for our new King Size mattress my sweet sister Stacy and her hubbie JB are bringing Patrick and I Friday! I am so excited. We bought a beautiful antique bed and have been working on a mattress for far to long. It will be nice!

WOW I HAVE BEEN READING ON LINE TODAY ABOUT SOME RAW FOODISTS GUYS…

I find very often men who weigh/weighed what I do and are talking about how unhealthy and fat they are/were. It really freaks me out because I am in SUCH denial about how fat I really am. I just have refused for so long to really think about it for more than a few minutes at a time - I always just push thoughts of it away. I truly hate to look at the reality.

I need to realize somehow that my life is in danger at this very high weight. I know that if I could do that I would have more willpower when I get faced with inevitable temptation and just plain bored and overly hungry!

I really have to do this. I HAVE GOT TO DO THIS.

I have got to get that into my head. I have to be more serious about my LIFE!

I have got to stay on this path. I have got to re-gain my health.. if I ever WAS healthy. I know I can do this.. I can change my life, my health and my body.

I have had three large glasses of the green juice today,

it's really very good but I am wanting something hot. I have a bit of a sinus yuck right now.

I am going to have some more fruit juice and a hot tea for dinner. It's about 15 till 5pm. Now is when I usually start having issues with hunger.. going to keep on with more juice if I need it.

Today:

Juice of 2 Granny Smith and 2 Pink Lady apples
Kale, tomato, carrot, ginger, celery juice (LOTS - still working on it).
Kale, tomato, carrot, ginger, celery juice (STILL!)
Frozen Banana on a chop stick
Hot Earl Grey Lavender tea
Honeydew melon juice

Back in the Saddle...

2009-08-31T05:22:00.000-07:00

I love Mondays!

Today is day 8...

Gained three pounds back. Sat and Sunday were off my juice feast (Chinese and then Chinese again for lunch Sunday – leftovers.. AND a soft pretzel at the mall Sunday)..

Well I am back on today.. I am going to do 7 more days. Will come off onto Raw next Monday… will be actually 14 days (minus the two I came).. but 2 more than the 10 I orig. was going for.. to make up for it!

Feeling a bit slow today.. going to go on a walk this morning and take Suki (my Pug puppy) also.. have to start walking again LOTS, in order to be able to do some hiking in Sedona. Yeah!

Patrick and I went to the mall yesterday.. I bought the COOLEST faux suede light golden jacket and a beautiful silky knit fringed fall colors scarf.

I can’t wait to wear it..

Getting back on juice feast today..

I have slight tightness/fullness over my liver still and I am a bit fatigued this morning but I know the walk will help.

Here's to an excellent, productive week.

Well Holy Crap...

2009-08-30T05:28:00.000-07:00

Hum...
Well last night I jumped face first into a pig out. (not just a little slip) last night.. I absolutely just totally came off my plan. No ifs, ands or buts.

I started eating around 6pm.. a Raw Larabar, then almonds, then a banana.. then it was a simple and simply awful pig out the rest of the night.

Patrick and I had dinner.. I of course suggested it. I mentioned Chinese and he was all in, he loves Chinese.

Maybe subconsciously I said Chinese because I knew he would not fight me on it (he really does normally try to encourage me). Either way I smooth pigged out.

I had half an order (huge) of Orange Beef. (that's right I ate meat for the first time in 6 weeks) An eggroll and two of his cream cheese won tons. AND 2/3 a pint of Half Baked ice cream.

I simply turned into the old me for the night. I ate without thought of what I was doing. It had been 6 weeks of Vegan and 6 days of my juicefeast. I just switched myself off and went on auto "food" pilot.

This morning I feel like I ate an insane amount of food.. Like I just went crazy and...

This morning, boy do I feel like total hell! Not just guilt wise, I physically feel like crap. My gut aches from shoving so much food in it. In reality it was NO where near as much as I used to eat in a dinner – I only ate half my Chinese meal but you KNOW how large those meals are.

I have this ache under both my breasts.. in the center of my being and also I feel extremely exhausted. I can’t believe I woke up this tired. I can’t stop yawning.

It’s a HUGE difference to how well I have been feeling in the mornings over the last month.. I really want to remember that. I guess it’s a learning experience, I just don’t need to eat like that ever again. It’s such a drastic change. I feel half charged, like I only have half my normal energy.

I feel slow and very fatigued and sort of mentally fogged AND I have tons of dried mucus on the insides of my nose. I have a feeling of fullness over my liver and I just feel sort of stunned.. sort of half there mentally. Foggy and slow and SERIOUSLY tranquilized. It sucks.

I know this is a journey and I am not going to kill myself with guilt, I do feel pretty shitty… physically and psychologically but hopefully I will be able to use this next time.

I am going to be right back on today.. actually I will probably fast as long as I can today. I certainly need to. I know logically that they say it takes quite a while to become a totally 100% Raw foodist and maybe I am not doing myself any favors by starting off with such a hard core move as a juice feast but it’s freaking only 10 damn days.. Come on!

I have even noticed that I am actually THINKING SLOWER! I am so tired and bogged down that my brain is even working slower.. I am feeling stunted and can’t seem to pull up my thoughts as quick as normal. It’s really an eye opener. I can’t stop yawning either.. It’s almost 8am and I am still half asleep.

I also have mild intestinal cramping and diarrhea. Man I can’t believe one jump into the “old” way I used to eat can so severely effect me.

Well I am right back on. I am being straight to myself about this and I am going to use this and REMEMBER next time I am so tempted with my old food desires.

Much is happening...

2009-08-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

I actually came to Raw to lose weight.. that is happening PLUS so much more. My mind is really blown away by what I am reading about the Raw food movement.

I am discovering my compassion for the earth and for her animals. I have not had meat or dairy in over six weeks. (well except for one fall face first into my sister's addictive cheese dip! much ties to old comfort with this long time family tradition).

I have been constantly trying to Alkalize my body because I did Low Carb for so long and for me it was extremely Acid forming (studying this is what actually led me to Raw foods).

I was reading back in my blog this morning and I am down 23 pounds… that is actually pretty cool - most of the weight loss has been because of a Raw food diet.

I am SO excited to read that I can control my borderline diabetes with Raw foods (bought the 30 days raw DVD's and also the book by Dr. Cousins about controlling - he even uses the word "cure" your diabetes thru Raw foods).

I started Low Carb to help me with my sugar and junk carb cravings and because I had learned I was borderline diabetic. When I decide to do something I am all in. I don’t screw around.. I totally immerse myself in that way of life. I was militant most of the time.. It (LC) did help with the bread and sweets cravings.

I have been doing Vegetarian (mostly Raw Vegan) for about six weeks (started on July 16) (today I am on day six of my juice feast). I don’t have any cravings for any of the crap.. NOTHING (well except some good Raw solid food right now because of my liquid meals!) so this way of eating has taken care of that PLUS (and it’s a big plus) no taking tons of minerals and vitamins (and 5HT because of the depression the lack of Serotonin brought on because of the lack of carbs!) and no feeling so dragged down and constantly dehydrated! I used to put a huge glass of water in EVERY room of my house, first thing upon waking up each day, so that no matter where I was I would have a drink… I was THAT thirsty all the damned time.

I am so excited about what’s to come for me in my new Raw world .. I have been using the word Epic allot lately because this is how I feel… It’s Epic. It’s a monumental discovery for me.

Sweeeeet Saturday~

2009-08-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighty! It's Day SIX!

I am over halfway there (if I decide on only 10 days.. we will see.. thinking about 14 days).

Last night was HARD but I made it ;-)

Down 10 pounds!!!

Wow 10 pounds in 5 days. I am so excited... I am not going to weigh again until Monday. I used to have Monday as my main weigh in day and it really helps to only weigh once a week AND planning weigh in's for Monday keeps me real thru the weekend. (most of the time ;-)

Feel VERY good and OH SO calm and relaxed this morning. I have this sort of "expanded consciousness" feeling. No!, without any use of mind altering plants! I just feel more in tune with everything. This is going to be a fantastic day, I can feel it. Good thing cuz Patrick and I have LOTS of work here at the house for the weekend!

I know this is it.. this is what is going to do it.. well I am going to do it WITH this way of eating. I am. It feels right. It's resonating with me.

I can’t wait to be the old (new) cute slim sexy moi.

Juice – supplements today:

Water with lime juice

TGIF

2009-08-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Well today is going to be a good day, I can feel it. I feel clear headed and my cramps are almost gone. It's day five of my juice feast. I am still counting it as day five even though I ate some raw fruit and tahini last night. I was having a very hard night. I don't think it slowed me down though really because my calories were still under 1200 and it was Raw (Tahini also) and I didn't gain any weight.

Wow.. I sold LOTS of gemstones overnight!!!!!!!!!!

(Check out My Gemstore sometime):

http://GemGourmet.etsy.com

and I am pretty busy this morning packing stuff up. It's nice as I am saving for our Vegas/Se dona trip late Oct. Thank you to all my wonderful customers!

Seriously, I don't want to work, all I want to do is READ others blogs and sites re: juice feasting and Raw foods forever. I have to force myself to get work done around the house. I know it's because I am still so new at it and have SO MUCH TO LEARN but I am frantic to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can. I can tell this is an Epic time in my life. Changes are a comin'!

Patrick got LOTS of good greens and also greens powder at the store yesterday so I will be juicing lots of greens today! I am shooting for a pound of greens a day and a good amount of celery.

We ended up not buying the MSM because I found out it contains sulfer and I am allergic to sulfer and the freaking bee pollen is crazy expensive so right now I am not using that either - Yet. Hopefully I will find some at a farmer's market or such that is local and not $15 for 6 ounces!

ALSO I didn’t have him get the hemp oil quite yet because I still have a brand new bottle of Carlson’s Finest fish oil for my EFA’s.. I know it’s not veggie but it was expensive and I am using it up first then I will get on with the hemp oil.

I am also adding in my beneficial bacteria every day starting yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 11:30 am and I just finished packing up 8 packages! Yeah GemGourmet is rockin!
I have to go to the post office, four of the packages are International (to the UK, Sweden, Switzerland and Italy!).. love the idea that my gems are going all over the world.

I really do miss making jewelry. I did it for almost 25 years. (if you want to check out my site sometime:

"Sea Swept Away" from my BeachBabe line.

http://carymartindesigns.com

I am doing so well with the GemGourmet store that I just don’t seem to have time to do much in the way of new jewelry designs. I do want to finish a couple pieces for myself though ; -)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just made a huge liter of honeydew melon juice.. half of a large honeydew.. it’s fantastic! The most incredible honeydew I have had in a long time, it really does pay to eat fruit in their correct season. They are in perfect season right now.. I put it in my new WhydhamGreen bottle that Patrick brought us home from work.. they are cool..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow.. I just realized it’s already 2pm and I have not had any more juice! I ran right thru lunch (had to go to the Post Office) and now it’s actually time for ANOTHER juice so I am two behind. I really need to be careful to not let myself get too hungry!

So I made my first green juice for the day..
A dandelion greens, spinach, green superfood powder, mango, honeydew melon juice and it is fair. I had to add 4 drops stevia because it was a little bitter. I will be able to drink it no problem.

I actually ended up pulling all the greens out of the bin from the back of the juicer, throwing them in the bullet with some water and then straining the liquid back in my drink.. I hate to waste all those greens.. the juicer just does NOT do a good job! I ordered a Vitamix last week. They are crazy expensive but I need it. Will be glad when it gets in.

Well it’s 4:30pm and I was really hungry for something sweet (will have my other green juice for dinner) so I made banana, pineapple and coconut water juice! OMG.. this is the best ever! I didn’t strain it but I am not worrying about it. I can’t get obsessive, I am not going to develop an all or nothing mentality about this cleanse. It’s important that I don’t get too militant with myself.

Hummmm… well its’ 5pm and I am getting that “spaced out” feeling everyone talks about when they are doing the juice feast and consume too much sugar from fruit. I am spacey and feel tired all of a sudden.

I will be SO GLAD when my vitamix comes in so I can make decent green juices.. it’s hard to do good ones with the juicer… it gets practically NO juice from the greens.. I guess in the mean time I will do what I did with lunch and do the greens in the bullet with water or maybe coconut water?

Boy I am REALLY STRUGGLING with wanting to eat solid food right now! I know it’s because of the time. (it is almost 7pm) and I have eaten a solid dinner for what…. 44 years now! I can understand I guess how this feels so foreign.

The first few days were easy because it was new and I was thrilled and excited.. I am still excited but the newness is wearing off and now I have to just DO THIS!

I can make myself a green drink when Patrick eats his dinner. I can do this.. I am NOT going to fall off and eat food like last night (banana, date and raw tahini last night).. I am back on, have done good all day and will make it thru the end of the day… I sure hope this gets easier!

Forgot my EFA oil AND my beneficial bacteria.. will have to take them NOW~

Had a decent poo today. (yes we raw foodies are into our poo’s!) I had not had one in two days.
I also have a huge pimplebump coming up on my chin… definitely detox as I hardly EVER get these.

Juice/supplements today:

1 large glass ice water w/ lime juice and stevia (used a whole lime).. this is nice this morning~
1 liter of honeydew melonjuice!
Liter of Green juice – dandelion greens, spinach, green superfood powder, mango, honeydew melon
1 T soaked goji berries (forgot to add them to the juice so I just ate them)
Banana, pineapple and coconut water (2 cups).. WOW amazing!
1 T Carlson’s fish oil (I know it’s not veggie but I have it in the fridge and need to finish it)
11 oz Passionfruit Coconut water
Hot spice tea (black tea) for dinner – Nice…

Ended up forgetting my beneficial bacteria.. have to start taking the oil and bacteria at lunch.

A Bit Better Today - Day 4 of my Juice Feast~

2009-08-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

Wow.. Ok I have LOST 9 POUNDS IN THREE DAYS.

That is an absolute record. NEVER ever have I done that.. even when fasting. It’s incredible.

I wonder if I am drinking enough.
Feel so so this morning. Have cramps (period) and woke in the middle of the night with a sharp pain under my right breast. Pretty high up. I think too high for gall bladder. Not sure but it went away quickly.

Patrick is so sweet and good to me. He said he would go to WholeFoods for me today.. need more greens and fruit and a few other supplies for this Juice Feast protocol. I sort of started right out of the gate w/o knowing and having everything I needed. I am working on it though!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well it’s noon and I am having more Watermelon juice. It’s reallygood and I needed to finish off the watermelon.

I wanted to note that my MOOD is VERY good right now… Still have cramps but that’s expected as it’s only day 2 of my period. I made it thru yesterday and last night w/o drugs and will also today and tomorrow. I will be SO glad when my period is over and I feel the mood I do right now without cramps! It will be wonderful.

I really want to do this for a long period of time.
I just ordered bottles to put juice in if we are out and about (Sigg bottles)

A large one and small one for my juice and Patrick wanted the Yin/Yang one for water. (I love all three of these!)

and Patrick is going to get me some other stuff I need for the protocol of this juice feast (bee pollen and MSM and Hemp Seed oil).. from Whole Foods today. Yeah!

I could do this for over a month and come off the first week of Oct. and re-acclimate to raw and some vegan cooked before we go to Las Vegas.. (We are going to Vegas and Sedona for 9 nights leaving Oct. 24).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s 15 till 2 and I seem to be having some fullness (not really pain) in my liver area and I wonder how long it is going to be before my liver gets better.. I am going to do some enemas to help.. maybe coffee. Yes that's right I bought an enema bag.. crazy but true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well it’s 5pm and I am having a very nice banana, celery and kale juice. If you had told me a month ago I would like this I would have said you were bonkers. I was very hungry and wanted to just EAT several bananas but only took one teeny bite and blended and strained the rest.

I drank Almond milk today and I know it’s not really correct to do nuts on the juice fast as far as the correct protocol but for some reason my body was really craving it. I think maybe it’s because I had not had a good amount of protein (no greens yet for the day) and also maybe I was craving some fat. Patrick is picking up my Hemp oil (for essential fatty acids while on the feast) today thankfully. I need it and the bee pollen for sure.. I am also getting some greens powder to boost up my green juices and MSM (part of the protocol).

Ok I am REALLY, REALLY wanting to eat dinner. I am very hungry. Patrick is bringing home some more fruits and veggies for me.

Well it’s 7:30pm. I really let myself get too hungry and ended up falling off and eating solid food :-(

I had a banana with three dates and 2 large T Raw tahini… well there it is. I am owning it and putting it out there.

I am not beating myself up… getting right back on.

Juice today
Water with lime juice
Watermelon juice (breakfast)
Watermelon juice (lunch)
2 C Almond Milk (around 4pm)
Banana (2), celery (lots), Kale (1/2 #) juice (5pm)
Banana, dates and tahini.. (damn)

Uggg... Here Comes Detox!

2009-08-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Wow.. down 7 pounds lost in two days? That’s I think a lifetime record for me! I can’t believe that. AND even more incredible? I started my period this morning.. I am SURE I am up at least 2 pounds from my actual weight because I always am when I start..

I am so excited I can’t even begin to explain how I feel. So many words come to mind! I am frantic with wanting to read and learn it ALL right now! Raw is going to save my life.

Well how I ACTUALLY feel this morning is not good because I have serious cramps.. I was thinking I want to just deal with this month’s period pain.

I don’t want to take any drugs to slow down my detox.. I am very fortunate I can actually lay on my heating pad or take a hot bath in the middle of the day If I need to.. I am so truly very blessed, it’s amazing the life I have.

Thank you so much to my wonderful hubbie.. He takes such good care of me! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Wow… I wonder where I will be at the end of this juice feast? I want to get to 199 NOW!~.. maybe I will just stay on this until then!

I am so excited I can’t stop thinking that maybe this is IT! Finally what is going to do it for me.

I really need to think on more ways to use greens and veggies and be careful to not do TOO many juices with lots of fruit (I think?).

Had pineapple green apple juice first thing.. Patrick liked it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 10:45 am and I am having some almond milk (almond breeze.. didn’t make it myself) my body really asked for it when I saw it in the fridge. I am sure homemade would be better but at least it's Organic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just ordered a new Raw cookbook:

www.rawhealingpatch.com

http://rawhealingpatch.com

Julie and Sarah have great videos on YouTube also!

http://youtube.com/user/RawHealingPatch

http://www.youtube.com/user/RawHealingPatch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little update on all my Gastro tests:

I had two ultrasounds, a upper endoscopy, an colonoscopy, a CT scan with barium and a small bowel follow thru with barium.

They were NOT ABLE TO FIND A THING except H Pylori (causes ulcers) and said I had a "few inflamed areas".. Nothing else.

I was told it's "probably just a case of bad irritable bowel"..

I ordered Dr. David Klein's book on healing Colitis and Crohns for myself and my sister Stacy (she has Crohns)

http://www.colitis-crohns.com

and am going to be reading that soon. In the mean time I KNOW that this Raw juice feast will help!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s 1:45 and I just got out of a hot Himalayan Pink Salt bath (Thanks for the salt stones mom!) and feel pretty good.

Cramps seem to be ramping up but the hot bath helped.

10 till 3pm.
I just got up for a very quick nap. I actually was only going to lay down on my heating pad for a few minutes to help my cramps but I fell asleep. It helped a bit. They are still there but better.

Still drinking my green lunch.

I have been listening to the “Soundscapes” channel today and it almost feels like I am at a Spa.

I was reading that if we don’t colon cleanse we can re-absorb some of our toxins back in. I guess I am going to have to freaking order an enema bag. Damn..

I also just ordered some intestinal drawing formula..

20 min. till 4..
I am not feeling well really, I have liver pain again and I am just fidgety and can’t get comfortable.. have cramps, seem hungry but don’t want to drink any more juice, tired..

Think I will go lay down and read a while.

It’s 5pm and I am feeling a bit better.. having some Mango, white peach and BANANA! JUICE
I decided I could do the banana by whirling it in my bullet and then straining it thru my sieve. It worked good and this juice is fabulous!

Juice today:

Pineapple and green apple first thing – YUM!!!
1.5 C Almond milk
Water with Lemon Verbena leaves (I am growing).
Lunch is a huge green juice - 1/2 pound of kale, 2 green apples, 2 cucumbers and 1/3 bag of celery.
It's actually one of my favorites so far. Just sweet enough. I love cucumber in these juices!
Mango, white peach, banana juice

Juicy Day TWO!!!

2009-08-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

I lost 4.5 pounds overnight! Wow.. I know I was bloated because of all the crap we ate.. sunchips and diet pepsi and then tortillas and cheesedip and crap like that and THEN Sunday night Patrick and I went to Chili’s and had a three course meal.. with volcano cake for dessert.. I was for sure retaining water…. Came off Raw for two days.

Anyway this morning I felt a little exhausted.. had a very, very mild headache and overslept about a half hour but now I feel better.. not 100% for sure but better..

Made a HUGE glass of watermelon juice and have some left in the fridge and also gave some to Patrick..

Here’s to day two!

Well it’s 11:12 AM and I am officially having hunger pains for the first time.

I just made some licorice hot tea. Hope it will hold me for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well it is noon and I am definitely having some detox symptoms.

I have turned the AC up to 78deg and I still feel like I have the chills (a hot Epsom salt bath would be so nice right now!) and I have a slight headache and a little stuffiness in my head.

I need to drink more juice but they are not appealing to me right now.. I want more hot tea.

I think a walk in the AM tomorrow will be good.. I just went and got everything together so I can just do it. I need to get back to my 2.5 mile walks and Suki (my pug puppy!) needs walks more often too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12:10pm.
Had some more watermelon juice with the juice of one orange. .. *I remembered too late that you are not supposed to mix melon with anything.. but I am sure It’s ok this one time.

I am feeling very excited about what this might bring. I keep seeing myself doing this longer than 10 days.. maybe 30? I would love to do some serious cleansing and healing. I really want to help motivate Stacy and Mom too.

I feel some kind of transformative shift going on with me. I am ready for a serious metamorphosis!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12:45pm

I am really wanting steamy teas.. my sinus hurt and I just want to breathe the steam and drink hot teas.
I am sure tea can’t hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I enjoyed the steam from the tea but the tea (black English tea) felt very “drying” to me in my mouth and made me much more thirsty.. the tannins I guess.. I immediately wanted plain water.

Will have to have herbal tea next time I need something steamy.

It’s 1:45pm and I am actually really not hungry. It’s strange.. I do think that soon I should eat so that I don’t all of a sudden feel starved later today. Really trying to go with my body though.. I have a bit more of a headache now and still feel very tired.

Going out to lay in the sun and soak up some warmth.. might read, might just fall asleep, we will see.

2:30pm.

Well I laid out for a while and really worked up a nice detoxing sweat. I am for sure NOT cold anymore!

Having mild pain around my liver area. I am sure it’s GOOD.. detoxing my liver!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 3:15pm and I am having my lunch made a HUGE amount of garlic, beet, celery, tomato, green leaf lettuce, cucumber cilantro juice.. used a while head of green leaf lettuce and 3 med. Cloves of garlic.. it’s good. Very strong but good.

4:30pm..
still drinking this juice.. the first half was good now it’s getting a little too strong but I will finish it! I have a little watermelon/orange juice left for “dessert”..

I am not feeling great.. still achy and my sinus really is getting worse. For some reason this is always my first sign I am detoxing. I wonder why.

Made some more of my homemade "V8".. this time I used too much garlic! I used three cloves, you would think that just the juice from three cloves would not be to much but WOW it was strong.. I like garlic so I managed to drink it all but WOW!

Juices today:

-Water with lime juice
-Watermelon juice
-Licorice tea
-Watermelon juice with 1 orange juiced in it*
-HUGE amount of garlic, beet, celery, tomato, green leaf lettuce, cucumber cilantro juice.. used a while head of green leaf lettuce and 3 med. Cloves of garlic.. it’s good. Very strong but good
Watermelon with 1 more orange juiced in it
Muscadine and white peach juice for dinner

OH AND I ORDERED A VITAMIX TODAY!
NEXT IS A NEW DEHYDRATOR!

RAW JUICE FEAST...

2009-08-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Starting juice feast.

Patrick and I went to Stacy’s (my sis) this weekend. We took their boat out. I had such a hard time getting on and off that boat while in the water.

It was really yet another sad/scary/pissing me off eye opener.

It was too hard because I am so fat. It was humiliating. I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes (I didn't - I have quit).

Then later at the hotel I was looking at myself in the mirror and my legs are horrid. They have fat bulges and ripples and I swear an area on the back of one of my legs looks like it has this huge damned fat LEDGE looking area on it.

It really opened my eyes. I have not seen my legs truly as they actually ARE in a long time. I LOOK at myself often but I never really see. It pretty much sucks arse.

I have to do this. I have to remember once and for all what I really ACTUALLY look like and DO THIS! I always seem to have the opposite of people with anorexia when looking in the mirror. I look at myself and see a much skinnier me. Not my true reality.

But it's just not a true image. I don’t want to live the rest of my life this way. I feel like throwing things I am so pissed off.

I AM STARTING A 10 DAY JUICE FAST/FEAST. I AM GOING TO DO THIS. I AM GOING TO BECOME A RAW VEGAN. I AM NOT, NOT, NOT GOING TO LIVE THE REST OF MY FREAKING LIFE IN THIS FAT BODY!

THIS IS ENDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOW!

I am going to start with watermelon and apples today.

LATER IN THE DAY...

It’s 20 till 1on and I am hungry so I made some tomato, ginger, spinach, cucumber, carrot, celery, beet juice. It’s good.

Food Today:

1 ½ Cantaloupe
tomato, ginger, spinach, cucumber, carrot, celery beet juice
1 orange in water with ice
Watermelon juice
Apple, cucumber, spinach juice
For dinner I had beet green, carrot, tomato, ½ beet, celery, cucumber, ginger and jalapeno juice.. it was nice and warm and good.

Today around 1:45 I went outside with a glass of icewater with 1 orange squeezed in it and read for a while. I am pretty sleepy so I sort of dozed a bit .. was out there an hour.. I really enjoy just getting a little sun. It's very indulgent and makes me feel guilty to spend time on myself.. that's sad..

There is so much I need to do around the house.

AND LATER...

right now (10 till 4pm) I am having some watermelon juice, man it's good.

I am so stoked to do this. I have what it takes to do this I know I do. This is important to me. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it could get tough.. but I am going to do this. It is going to be a new beginning for me.

6:25pm..
I just made my fav. juice so far..
I used 1 pink lady apple, one green apple, half a bag of spinach and half a large cucumber.
It’s SO GOOD!

Making my V8 for dinner later.

Raw is coming along...

2009-08-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

I am on day 5 of eating Raw Vegan and I feel very good finally.
I had 3 days of headache and just feeling like crap but I am much better now. I am sure it was a bit of Detox and from what I understand this will come and go as my body lets go of the years worth of built up toxins.

I have been doing about 80-80% raw foods. I have a bit of cooked food when I just really feel I have to have it (they say it helps to transition). For me I wanted to go 100% right off the bat but it's very hard.

I have had a serving of cooked brussel sprouts one day, SmartPop popcorn last night after dinner (watching a movie), and today around 5pm I had an Amy's Veggie pie.

Everything I HAVE had has been Vegan.. and most has been Raw Vegan.

I have been having fruit, all I want, until at least noon each day.. and usually further into the day as long as I can.

Patrick and I made Veggie Nori rolls with Avocado, carrot, bean sprouts, cucumber, zucchini and yellow squash. We rolled them up in the Nori, sliced them like sushi and ate them with pickled ginger and wasabi.. they were so good I have made these almost every day for a late lunch (around 3-4pm).

So far I have lost about 3 pounds. I am not weighing every day though.

I made the BEST Raw meal the other night..

Raw Pad Thai

This Pad Thai-inspired raw food salad is hearty enough to serve as an entree. the flavor really comes from the freshly chopped cilantro, so whatever you do, don't substitute the raw fresh cilantro for dried. It just won't be the same if you do! Try this raw food recipe for a delicious and nutritious raw foods Pad Thai salad.
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Ingredients:
 2 zucchinis, sliced into strips with a vegetable peeler (using a yellow squash and a zucchini)
 2 large handfuls of bean sprouts, approx 2 cups
 3/4 cup chopped nuts (use almonds or cashews)
 2 green onions sliced thin and long
 shredded carrot
 shredded cabbage
 1/2 cup fresh chopped cilantro
 juice from one lime
 1/4 tsp sea salt
 fresh cracked black pepper
 red chili pepper flakes

Preparation:
Toss all ingredients together in a bowl until well coated. Add a dash more salt if desired and enjoy!

Note..

For my cleanse I am doing the ginger, apple, spices and rice wine vinegar dressing:
Ginger, carrot, apple, celery, lime juice, tangerine oil, dark sesame oil (last), green onion.. whirled in blender.. add dk sesame oil and serve.

This is the breakdown of the dressing:
2” peeled ginger (nice chunk) chopped up as much as possible, 1 pink lady apple peeled and chopped, 1 med. Carrot peeled and grated, 1 med. Celery destringed and chopped, squeeze of lime juice, 3 drops tangerine oil, chopped green onion.

I cut the veggies all in fine julianne pieces and we ate the salad with chop stix.. it was FANTASTIC!

I can do this.

Today on the way home from picking up Suki (he was Neutered today :(

I instantly wanted a greasy hamburger! I couldn't believe it and I got PISSED at myself. It took allot of strength and I was glad I had to get Suki home and take care of him or I might have caved. Once I got my mind off it I was fine.

I had waited too long to eat and the craving came on quickly. I almost caved!

When we got home and I got Suki resting, I ate my Amy's meal. When I finished it I truly wanted more to eat but I made myself wait. Now I am fine.

Lesson learned:
Don't go too long without eating.

It's been a pretty good day...

2009-07-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

Today starts day four of my veggie diet and I feel fabulous! I have so much energy and almost this buzzing feeling in my body.

My Flax, sunflower and sundried tomato raw crackers turned out fabulous! I didn’t have to change a thing! The parchment worked well and I can’t believe how good they are!

Patrick really likes them too. The Shoya I added really brings out the flavor of it all and I LOVE the jalapeno in them.

I just made myself some parsley, celery and green apple (only 1 apple) juice for my snack and it’s surprisingly very good and refreshing. Yum

It’s around 1:15pm and I am VERY hungry so I am planning on some raw peanut butter on a piece of Ezekiel toast and a handful of cherries. I am slowly adding more raw into my diet. Yum!.

Wow. Ok it’s already 6pm and I am very surprised I am not hungry yet.
I am making some “V8” juice tonight for myself for dinner.. (tomatoes, parsley, carrot, garlic, celery, cucumber, ginger – still wonder what the “8” is in the V8!) Patrick will be having an Amy’s organic meal and some juice too.

I feel pretty good.. have some intestinal “issues”.. but I think that is normal with any drastic diet change.

The crackers were so good and they are gone! Need to like triple the recipe next time!

Veggie diet for a while...

2009-07-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

I am working on my liver a bit right now. I want to do the liver cleanse diet (Dr. Sandra Cabot) for 30 days. I would LOVE to go for 2 months but starting with a 30 day commitment.

Today is the start of day three on veggie. I have actually GAINED (back to 231# - blech!) but I am not concerned, I know it will come back off. I am eating too many nuts and seeds and nut butters and granolas. I need to rein myself in on these.

I got beet and green apples to juice and also I want to do my own type of "V8".. I also got tomato, garlic, cucumber, ginger, celery, carrot, parsley (not sure what the other veggie is in V “8”) but this juice sounds great.

I am also making some flax, raw sunflower seed, garlic and sundried tomato dehydrated crackers and hummus. YUM!

I have not officially started the ACTUAL liver cleanse yet as I have not finished the book but I feel I have a jump just doing veggie already.

I have LOTS of energy and I am also very interested in doing as much RAW as I can.
Mom gave me an old RAW cookbook (10 years old) that is one of the very first Raw cookbooks and the author opened the very first raw restaurant in CA.

I like the look of the book, it's very well made, fun and inspiring but some of the recipes have crazy ingredients I have never heard of (and I am a foodie) and I am not sure how practical it is, but I am really loving reading it:

I have also been talking to a lovely lady that is a Chef at a Raw restaurant. (talk about an amazing job!) her name is Michelle Joy and this is her site:

http://purerawjoy.blogspot.com

Michelle is giving me pointers and inspiration and just plain excitement. She has lost 160#!.. I am truly enjoying reading her blog, it is fantastic and has recipes and food combo ideas that are really helping me.

Check out her recipe for Raw Mumbai Spaghetti:

MUMBAI SPAGHETTI
- 1.5 large zucchini's spiralized in bowl

In cuisinart with S blade, add veggies and whir up a spicy sauce:
- 3 or 4 Roma Tomatoes, quartered
- 1/2 red pepper, sliced
- 1 large clove garlic, sliced
- 2 slices fresh ginger, diced
- squeeze of fresh lemon/lime

Pour sauce over spaghetti.

Shake the following spices/seasonings on top of sauced noodles:
- 5 shakes turmeric
- 1 squirt cayenne juice
- 3 shakes coriander
- 5 shakes chili powder, salt free, Frontier brand
- 2 Tbsp nutritional yeast

Blend and mix up with your fork and enjoy!

Barely any salt/fat...and sooo yummy. When food is spicy enough, you forget there's no salt or fat. Nutritional yeast has only 1 gram of fat and 5 mg sodium
per 2 Tbsp serving. 2 Tbsp of olive oil have like 30 grams of fat... Nama Shoyu has like 900 + mg of sodium per serving... I keep citing that, i know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** need a spiral slicer!! anyway I think this sounds VERY good and I am going to make it soon.

Dawn and I went to a Raw restaurant here in Orlando called "Cafe 118 Deg".. I was blown away and VERY interested in how they can make such amazing gourmet food that is RAW. This is where I got turned on to the flax, sundried tomato crackers. We had some with Raw cashew "hummus".. it was delish.

I found a RAW bootcamp I have been reading about - it's very hard core.. NO fat, nuts or seeds and only raw veggies and fruits. and also I am going to search for more Raw weight loss success stories I love reading these.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been reading so much lately about the Raw foods movement.
I REALLY feel drawn to this in an incredible way.

Part of me wants to just jump in, buy all the supplies (I need a vitamix, a new dehydrator with slick mats, a spiral slicer and a mandolin.) but I know I have to take it slow. Hell a vitamix alone is $400.

Today I am making a flax and sunflower seed raw “cracker”.. I am using an old dehydrator mom gave me.
It’s an old Ronco round one. There are no temperature adjustments (my recipe said to set dehydrator on 105Deg) or a fan but I am pretty stoked.

I cut rounds of parchment to try to use instead of the slick mats (sort of like silpat) that most raw foodies use in their dehydrators. I hope and pray the parchment will work!

This is the recipe I am using:

Southwest Flax Crackers

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1/2 cup julienned sundried tomatoes
1/2 cup flax seed
2 cloves garlic, pressed – is this enough?
1 small jalapeño, seeded and minced – I started with half a large – seeds and all
1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves
1 T lemon juice (I ended up needing juice from a LARGE lemon )
1 T lemon rind
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 cup ground raw sunflower seed or raw pumpkin seeds
1 teaspoon sea salt
Fresh ground pepper
Nama Shoya

Directions:

Soak sundried tomatoes for at least 1 hour in just enough water to cover them. (added a T of Shoya)

Soak flax seed for at least 2 hours in just enough water to keep them from clumping. (I soaked mine over night in the fridge)

Put sundried tomatoes and soaking water in a blender pitcher. Add garlic, jalapeño, cilantro, and olive oil to pitcher. Blend until you get a slightly chunky paste. Pour tomato paste into a bowl and stir in flax seed, ground sunflower or pumpkin seed, and sea salt.

Spread on teleflex sheets (I am going to try parchment first.. ) using a rubber spatula.

Also use a knife and score mix and dehydrate at 105 degrees Fahrenheit for 3-4 hours. Using a knife, carefully cut into squares (scoring first really helps). Continue to dry for and additional 6 hours. Flip crackers and dry until crisp. I generally dehydrate for a total of about 18 hours. You can use more or less jalapeño, depending on your taste.

########################
(I ended up needing juice from a LARGE lemon and added extra shoya )

I had a hard time getting my bullet to mix at all so I finely chopped everything and mixed it together by hand. It was VERY thick.

It has been in the dehydrator for about three hours and the kitchen has a wonderful smell. I HOPE these are as good as the ones Dawn and I had at Café 118Deg!

Whew... It's been too long..

2009-07-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well I can't believe how much time has passed.
I actually considered deleting all my posts and starting over because I have actually gained several pounds and felt really bad about this. I had made it to 213 so I have gained 9 pounds.

I decided to just keep on keeping on as this really is a journey. It has been four months since my last post.

I have struggled allot and been on and off low carb and gone veggie for a while for a liver cleanse and then back to low carb and then now.. just simply off. I have eaten whatever I wanted for about three weeks now.

Patrick and I went to Chicago (loved it!) to attend a wonderful wedding for my cousin Kenner and his new bride Agnes.

The festivities were amazing and very life affirming and what a wonderful woman Agnes is.

I ended up going off my diet big time and have really not been able to get back on.

The last week I have been dealing with a lot of stress because I am getting a Colonoscopy and EGD test in the morning (dealing with lower abdominal pain for a very long time - finally ready to figure this out but a bit afraid).

The stress has really thrown me for a loop and now I am up to 232 pounds.

I tell myself I am still down from my orig. 257# high but it's very depressing that all this time has gone by and I am so stagnant in my weight loss. I tend to dwell on this too much.

Tomorrow are the gastro tests and today I am doing a clear liquid diet day. I made several batches of jello and have been drinking gingerale and such.

I have to do the bowel cleanse this afternoon (yeah!, fun right?) and am sure NOT looking forward to that.

Anyway I am planning on getting back to low carb withing the next 7-10 days - I want to give myself a few days after the tests to get my electrolytes back up as low carb really depletes them the first month or so and this bowel cleanse will certainly deplete me big time!

I plan on it not being more than a week before I am back on my WOE.

I am actually looking forward to getting back on plan and will just journal and count calories until I get back to Atkins.

I am making a goal to lose 40# (be well under 200) by my birthday on Dec. 24th (Christmas Eve). What a great gift to myself this will be.

Broccoli Rapini AND Artic Charr = Wow Meal!

2009-03-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

Not weighing today!
Well I am tired of not seeing the scale move so I am not weighing again till Monday.

Yesterday I ate ALLOT of cheese.. no really, ALLLLLOT! (almost 6 ounces) I had gone to WholeFoods for some minerals and herbs I am using and bought three amazing new cheeses.

Yes cheese is allowed but I am sure I went over what would be considered a “sane” amount!

I did just do my calculations in Fitday and cals were 1784 – this does not seem high enough to me, but really with fish and veggies for dinner (even with the Coconut Oil the Broccoli rabi was cooked in) I guess it was not too high. This is on my high side of cals I shoot for but I thought I would be in the 2000 range with all the cheese.. so I am happy!

I had never made Broccoli Raab (also called rapinni)-
I am going to make it again, I really liked it (I didn’t know to blanch it first) but Patrick did not, maybe if I do blanch it next time it will be good enough that Patrick likes it. I really liked it but it’s spicy and bitter like kale.. maybe even more so.. Bet it is GOOD for my liver!

Broccoli Raab / Rabinni

How To Cook - The leaves, stems, and flower heads are cooked (broil, stir-fry, braise, saute, or steam) and eaten just like regular broccoli and have a flavor similar to broccoli but much more pungent. It is quite tasty with a nutty flavor and has a slightly bitter pungent taste. Some say it is aggressively pungent and bitter.

In spite of its uniqueness, broccoli raab is considered an acquired taste - but once acquired, it's addictive! Preparing it is very easy:
Rinse and trim 1/4-inch from bottom of stems.

Cut stalks crosswise into 1-inch pieces (all of it, up to the top of the leaves) and drop them into salted (optional), boiling water.

Cook for 1 to 2 minutes and remove with slotted spoon. Then:

drain as well as you can and the saute the blanched broccoli raab/rapini in a little *olive oil and as much garlic as you like for 3 to 5 minutes until tender. Optional - Add a few dried red pepper flakes.

*Note.. I used coconut oil and LOVED this very spicy veggie… Patrick did NOT.

With the Raab...
We had more of the new fav fish of ours, Arctic char - it’s a fatty cold water fish and AMAZING! Expensive for sure so I have to be careful not to overcook it, both times it has been fantastic.

Last night I ground some grey salt and dried shallots (penzeys.com) together and used some of my Herbes de Provence on it and a little pepper.. 4 min on skin side and 3 min on meat side. It was SO good!!

Why Did I NOT Measure!

2009-03-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

First an interesting note.. had 34.5 carbs yesterday and STILL in ketosis this AM! I know when I lost my weight before on LC I could eat around 55 a day and still lose, although it was only 2-3# a month then.

Well I got up this morning and instantly could tell that my belly is smaller (is getting more wrinkly where the fat is leaving my belly) and was all excited because I knew NOW my weight was going to move down.. well it’s STILL the same!.. but I know in my heart I am losing inches.. need to measure NOW.. Where in the freaking world is my measuring tape?

Made my MexiBreakfast casserole this morning (woke up early and got it in the oven) and it smells so good!

Have weighed the same 229- since the 6th.. that’s 6 days now.. a week almost.. I KNOW I will have that woosh soon! I know my body is just wanting to hold onto water because LC is such a dehydrating way of eating… I have really upped my water and herbal tea and have had NO caffeine or cokes or TEA (caffeinated) in three days.

I am going to allow myself a coke or two (diet of course –have not had a fully leaded coke in like 20 years) tomorrow.. ha, knowing me I will probably have three for breakfast. I LOVE and am totally addicted to Diet Coke.. “Coke” was actually my first word my mother tells me. So there.

My walking (did 1 ¾ mile this morning) was better energy wise but still not there. May have to up my calories.. average around 1700 a day right now so I can’t up them much.. BUT my BMR is supposed to be close to 1700 and I am not going to go below that. I lose slower but I know from experience it’s the best way for me.. this way no hunger and no falling into my old bingeing days.

I ordered a new sports bra yesterday:

I really needed it and I wanted a "front loader" as Patrick calls them *smile*.
I will let everyone know what I think about this one.

It was affordable and looks like a really good one. I have big girls.. (40DD) and think this will help on my morning walks (soon to be jogs!).

I really like the way the back looks and it comes in Black also, but I only got the white to start.

Here is the website:
http://www.jms.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prrfnbr=1618222417

Well..
Here is to a great day!

Visualization~

2009-03-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

So the board (LowCarbFriends) was talking about what type of motivation you have and people started talking about what they have on their fridge.. allot of people had fat pix of themselves to motivate them. I don’t think that is the way to go.. I think you should put other visual imagery out there in the universe.. good images that have positive affirmation for you.

I thought I should share one of mine.. I took a pix of a Victoria’s Secret model out of a catalog a few years ago and pasted my pix on her head! Sure did!!

Check it out:

Cruising Right Along…

2009-03-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Well the last few days have been pretty uneventful, except a 2.5 pound gain over night a couple of nights ago (it’s off again).. thought it was strange because I never came out of Ketosis.. I think it’s just my body fighting to maintain equilibrium before a woosh I KNOW I am going to have this week!

Made country style pork ribs (in my dutch oven) a couple of nights ago and last night Patrick picked up baconator and side salads on the way home.. I was proud of myself, I decided after 2/3 of the way thru the baconator I thought it might be enough and set it down to wait a few minutes (had eaten my side salad first) – BTW the freaking Ancho Chipotle Ranch (3 c) they have is REALLY good (Wendy’s). Well after a few min. I was indeed full and very proud as I saved about 175 calories!

Started back on my walking this morning.. felt sluggish and low on energy. Posted in the LCF forum about what I might do to help myself and my energy level. Though I was doing pretty good energy wise but I guess sitting on my ass around the house does not take much energy!

Making Key Lime Chicken breast and spinach with pepper vinegar and ham for dinner tonight.. YUM

Doing good!

2009-03-07T06:01:00.000-08:00

Well it’s been a few days but I am still going strong. Feeling pretty good.. had some Gall Bladder issues (have had them in the past).. pain and nausea in the AM. Also been running to the bathroom allot. BUT I have it under better control as I have started to watch my fat intake as well.

Going to get some herbs and do a few days of a juice fast as well, sometime soon.. and maybe another Gall Bladder flush.

Let’s see..
Right now I am doggy sitting for my parents. I have their two min-pins. Hammer and Pepper.

So a total of three pups in the house right now!

They are FUN. Poor Pepper is feeling her age though. (I think she’s like 14 or so) and walks gingerly and needs help up and down from the couch.. she is still eating well (would eat all day if I let her)..

Hammer is a drama queen. He is a beautiful red min-pin. He has the longest legs I have seen on one. My baby Pug – Sukiyaki

(careful, he will try to hypnotize ya!):

is CRAZY about Hammer. He just won’t leave him alone. He has started mimicking Hammer. It’s so cute. For example last night I let all three out in the back yard for a romp. I came back in to start dinner and left them out for a few minutes. When I was in the kitchen I saw them all three come back up to the sliding glass door.. they were so cute.. they all set down in a row and waited for me to come back. When they saw me watching them, hammer lifted up his front let and scratched the door three times. Suki, watching Hammer intently, instantly did the same thing.. three times.. It’s the little things!

Just a note re: my workout clothes I ordered! Everything fit! (well the black yoga pants are snug, but that’s ok for now).

I have been doing good on my eating. Actually eating quite well.. cals / carbs have been:

Feb 27th 1568/16
March 2nd 2450/<20 (considered this a maintain day- lots of nuts and made Pumpkin Breakfast Bake… TOO good, ate too much of it)
March 3rd.. down a pound to 230! 1192/38
March 5th 1545/34
March 6th - 1629/36 – still weigh 230

Some of the food I have been making:

I tried these “Scorpion Fries” I read about on a thread on LCF.. you take half a large bag of frozen whole green beans, throw them in a bowl, add a T of olive oil (use your hands and toss forever and it will coat them.. ) and then add any spice you like (I LOVE Penzey’s “Sunny Paris” on mine. – (shallots, chives, green peppercorns, dill weed, basil, tarragon, chervil and bay leaf) and I added sea salt.

Put them in the oven (325) and cook for about an hour and 10 min (for me).. they get all dark brown and shrivvled.. Ugly as sin.. but they taste so good! I could not believe it. Strange but true.

Last weekend Patrick and I took the bike out:

and rode around to a few parks in Orlando/Clermont, just to get out of the house at first, BUT actually ended up spending the entire day out. It was great.. and we had a successful LC late lunch at Red Lobster (shrimp scampi and crab and baby lobster).. with LOTS of butter.. it was fantastic.

The shrimp scampi was so good I decided to duplicate it at home a couple of nights later. It was SO good!

One night I made a HUGE salad my 7 carb balsamic as the dressing AND sweet red bell pepper.. cucumbers, radish, tomatoes, green onions, blue cheese, a boiled egg and 1 sliced turkey bacon chopped up in it. The salad was GOOD!!! I mean really GOOD.. it’s interesting the red bell tasted SO sweet to me and the cucumber almost tasted like watermelon..

Made low carb andd LF (gall bladder still hurting) fajhitas sans tortillas.. with red bell, onion, some of the dried smoked ancho in my freezer, a jalapeno, some garlic, chicken broth, chili con carne spice (penzeys) chicken, garlic and cilantro.. lime garnish.. it was WOW!

I have stayed in Ketosis all week (even after all the green beans and the huge salad one night with balsamic vinegar for my dressing AND all the red bell peppers and onions in our Chicken Fajhitas last night.

Today Patrick and I are going to be doing allot of running around… Errands, grocery shopping.. etc.

What is this? ENERGY?!

2009-02-27T12:28:00.000-08:00

Today is a great day.. I am down another pound 231! (got to stop getting on the scale every day now!) That is 13 pounds in under two weeks!

Gonna be a busy day, have to go to the post office, drycleaners, vet (to pick up Suki’s meds) and Walmart (yech – hate Walmart – but have to buy a printer cartridge and best buy is like 45min from here while Walmart is three blocks.. but still yech.)

Doing good, really good.

It’s 10:30am and I am still not hungry! How amazing.
Did good, under 1200 calories yesterday.. need to do that again!

So I DID allot of things I have been putting off today!
I went to the PO, the dry cleaners the Vet and Walmart (yech) to get the printer cartridge.

I am SO glad I got all this done, I feel very good about getting out of the house and accomplishing something. I am feeling like I have good energy.

While I was running around I saw all these people enjoying the FL sunshine. Some girls in skirts and sundresses and shorts. I am here, wearing all black because I am so self conscious and my legs, well my thighs I swear they carry half my freaking fat.

I WANT to have cute skirts and sundresses to wear, things that are comfortable like this white gauze skirt that I want from Athleta:

Maybe I really need to get to making (sewing) more stuff. OR maybe I need to order that skirt BECAUSE I will be able to wear it by July!

I just want to be cute, comfy and cool this summer.. I KNOW I am not going to lose all my weight by summer.. BUT I can certainly be comfortable and stop wearing all the freaking BLACK!

Well.. loving this energy. It's interesting I don't think I ever got this before on Atkins.. I AM taking more minerals now.. I bet that is making a difference.

What a great day so far!

2009-02-26T12:41:00.000-08:00

Weighed this morning.. (couldn't help myself!) 232

That means I have lost 12# in 11 days.. this new induction is doing a good job.

Doing better calorie wise.

Yesterday for lunch I had a chicken breast with cheese and bacon and mushrooms (leftover Faux Alice Springs Chicken) and ate about 2/3 of it and decided to put it down and see if in a few min. I was full.. and I was! I put the rest of the plate in the fridge deciding I would eat the rest later and just saw it this morning. I felt very proud of myself.

This morning for breakfast I made Patrick the Mocha Almond shake he loves.. (I love it too!) and I really wanted on too, I started to make myself one and then thought.. well 450 calories .. that should be a weekend breakfast not right now.. it’s a bit of a splurge. I am very proud of myself. I am actually not really hungry right now..

I am going to start doing yoga! I got a couple of beginner DVD's (I will let you know what I think of them) ordered and I purchesed a new tank and a top to go over it AND these cool black Fold Down waist yoga pants and a new mat yesterday.

Here are pix of the pants (but the red is black on mine, still has a nice wide fold down waist to help hid SOME of my tummy) and my new top.. XXL (sz 20) should fit fine.

I found out that the studio has a $20 for one week introduction rate and I am going to do that.. maybe try three days the first week. I am not going to kid myself, I have heard it’s HARD and they do it in a 105 degree room with high humidity to aid you sweating out toxins. One of the sites said:

"The heated environment is initially very challenging, helping to increase will power and mental strength."

I will have to be careful and make sure I am totally hydrated when I go. I can use more mental strenth!

I have been taking more potassium and magnesium than I had in the past and I am not having the low energy this time around. Its amazing.

I just had 25 almonds and an EAS shake (around 11:30am) and I am perfectly full.. that is around 283 Calories.. that is a good amt. Of calories for lunch.

Well I just had to write what a great day I am having.. I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel "happy".. I feel like a fog has lifted.. I have energy, I really think I was depressed and didn’t realize it that much.

This afternoon I was playing with Suki in the back yard and just laughing my ass off.. he is such a joy and I am SO glad we got him. I was sitting out you my lounge chair and the sun felt nice and he was fun/crazy running all over and we were playing fetch and I just thought.. wow.. I am feeling treat.. the laughter felt so nice. The sun felt so good that I laid down for a minute and just enjoyed how lucky I am.

I called a yoga studio up in Clermont and I am going to start going. I think as soon as my mat and new top/pants come in I will sign up for a couple of private lessons and then start going.

I need to start walking suki. I would today but we just took his harness off and he was a little chaffed under his leg, I need to let that heal a couple of days.. Maybe Sat,. Patrick and I can take him for a nice walk.

Red Velvet Cake.. I adore/hate you...

2009-02-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

Well today so far has been good.. my energy is good and my mood is good.

Dinner last night I made my own version of "Alice Springs Chicken" from Outback.
I rubbed four chicken breasts (made double batch so we could have lunch next day) with a chicken garlic herb spice several hours before I was cooking them.

Then just cooked some bacon (five slices for two breasts) and sauteed a half jar of mushrooms in the fat then melted some butter in the leftover bacon fat and sauteed the spiced up chicken breasts. I measured one ounce of sharp cheddar for me ( I can get carried away with cheese!) and just topped the chicken with mushrooms, cheese and crumbled bacon. It was REALLY good. I was actually surprised how good the chicken was with the spice on it.

This morning I made some sage sausage and eggs for Patrick. The sausage was enough for me. Although it is noon now and I am hungry… I am going to plan on eating lunch closer to 1pm so I can space out my food.. I remember when I made that mental decision I thought how cool it is to have control over my appetite. I am hungry but not starving! I want to get under 1200 calories today so I am spacing my food out a bit more.

I put a roast in the crockpot for tonight, not sure but I think I will do mashed cali with cheese to go with.. also need to make some "Ooopsies" (from Cleo on LowCarbFriends.com) to use with some of the leftover roast tomorrow for lunch.

I was looking on Etsy for some Red Velvet Cupcakes for my Uncle Ken (he is going thru Chemo and I really think something sweet will be nice for him) I love Red Velvet Cake! Good God it’s my favorite…

I know I do good on LC and I have decided THIS is the way I am going to finally get this weight off, but WOW they looked good.

I was thinking I would REALLY love one right now.. and then just thought about smearing it on my thighs, might as well, it just ends up there (one of mom’s fav. visualizations to motivate someone to diet, I rather think it works!).. and the craving left (almost)..

Love you Uncle Ken. Thinking about you allot right now. Hang tight, sugar is on it's way!

Calories/Carbs: 1347 – 13

Some Motivational Thoughts...

2009-02-24T14:13:00.000-08:00

I am putting together a "motivation" list for myself for when the inevitable temptation comes and thought I would post some of it here for anyone that needs a bit of a push back on track.This is all from my older journals:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love this – this is how I feel about my weight loss.. I have never given up, never will:

“When flowing water...meets with obstacles on its path, a blockage in its journey, it slows down a bit, then It increases in volume and strength, filling up in front of the obstacle and eventually spilling and rushing past it... “I ching

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“What if you had a wish you could actually make happen, a dream that you could, through your own will and desire make come true”… well I have a wish to be toned and svelte and strong and lean… and I can, and will, through my own force of desire, make it come true… I absolutely will.

REMEMBER THAT SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS… KEEP IT UP!

January 2, 2007

I am starting over RIGHT NOW… RIGHT NOW is my new beginning.

"To thine own self be true."

Of all the people in the world you can lie to, the worst one is myself. To trust anyone, I must first be able to trust myself, the most devastating thing I can do to myself, is not keep my VERY OWN promises... There are many reasons why I lie to myself. Among them is simple desire to avoid a confrontation with my true self The nice thing about being true to yourself is that it can have the same domino effect that lying does. One truth leads to another, which ultimately leads to a new trust and love for yourself. Your accomplishments start piling up, fat flies off, and more fat flies off, and my fitness levels increase by leaps and bounds.

ITS THE SNOWBALL EFFECT REMEMBER!!!

What you're doing takes on its own life, and you wake up one day and find that you're a completely different person. A person you love, love LOVE. A person you missed for many years. A person who can do absolutely anything. A strong, exciting, committed person…Isn't that what life's all about~ LIVING!

March 2, 2008

“WELL IT IS OFFICIAL… I HAVE TO BUY NEW JEANS… THESE (MY OLD FAVORITES, SO SOFT) ARE WAY TOO BIG, I CAN ROLL THE WAIST DOWN 3 TIMES AND I CAN GRAB ABOUT 2 1/2 INCHES OF EXTRA FABRIC IN THE THIGHS.. AND THEY LOOK BAD, A LITTLE BAGGY IS OK, BUT THESE LOOK TERRIBLE AND THEY WERE DRIED A VERY LONG TIME IN THE DRYER…BYE BYE MY OLD FAVORITE JEANS…TIME FOR SOME NEW FAVORITE JEANS!!!

”from One Phat Man.com
“You can change your life for the better right now, starting right this very minute.. if only you want to. Or, you can take the alternative route, and live in denial: eating everything in sight and sitting on your huge rear all day and pretending that your knees really don't hurt that bad or that your lower back is fine, and the numb tingling in your rear is perfectly normal? the pounding of your heart after walking across a large room is fine or that you didn't really want to ride roller coasters ever again or that people aren't really staring at you or that you don't really mind getting all your clothes at that special store.~! I missed a goodly chunk of my youth - my twenties - because I was too fat, and I'm doing my best to make up for that now. That's why I'm doing things like playing in the park, throwing footballs, and riding my daughter's scooter. Because I could not, and then I could. And can. And do. I would wager that for the vast majority of my large readers, it's not too late to recapture some of that lost youth, if only you want to. Do you want to? Nothing makes you feel quite as free as playing like a kid again - you forget all about the troubles that life hands you. That freedom is yours for the taking, if you want it. “
Love him!

May 19, 2008I HAVE DECIDED TO RAISE MY STANDARDS FOR MYSELF.. NO LONGER WILL I LET LIFE PASS ME BY AND SIT ON THE SIDE LINES.. .I AM GOING TO BECOME A VERY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN MY OWN LIFE, I AM GOING TO RIDE THAT BIKE, GO DANCING, GO PARA SAILING, GO JET SKIING, INLINE SKATING, RIDE THAT ROLLER COASTER, GO TO THE BEACH OR POOL, FLIRT AND BE FLIRTED WITH, AND ANY D*MN THING ELSE THAT TURNS ME ON.. .I AM NO LONGER GOING TO EAT MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE OR INTO WORSE AND WORSE HEALTH. I AM GOING TO LIVE LIFE!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THERE IS NO RACE AND THERE IS NO FINISH LINE.. JUST YOUR LIFE…Time is going to go by, might as well use it to your advantage...

calories today: 1530 - carbs - 23.8

Feel great this AM

2009-02-24T05:17:00.001-08:00

down another half a pound.. not putting official weights down until Mondays.. but it was cool to see.. also day four today of my TOM.. so some more weight may still come off..

VERY, very thirsty!
Have a huge glass of ice water and NEED to do my "glass of water in every room" today.. This works so good for me because I work at home and no matter where I am in the house.. THERE is a glass of water.

Food today is going to be probably also around 1300 or so.
trying for that anyway.

Tonight might be tough...

2009-02-23T16:26:00.000-08:00

Well it's 7:30 and Patrick should be home soon.
I am cooking him a burger and bacon and cheese and mushrooms and adding the rest of the loaded green beans to his plate.. but I have already reached 1200 calories for the day and I want to only consume 100 more.

SO I think I will have a "coke float".. a diet coke with 2 Tablespoons heavy cream..
It will be a nice treat and only 1 carb.

Got to get cooking!
It's been a good day.

Edited>>>
Well I did good with the coke float but was so hungry I actually had 1 oz (i was good and weighed them) of mac nuts. for an additional 200 cal. so my cal/carbs today were actually:

total today:
1444 Calories - 20 Carbs

Life is Good

2009-02-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

Official Weigh In.. Monday, Feb. 23-2009
233#

Well I am down 11 pounds.. My first week of induction was good.. Starting my second week now. I am a few days into my TOM so I am sure I am actually down at least another pound…
I know this weight loss this quickly sounds great but in actuality it was all water as I was retaining water very badly. I can finally get my wedding ring back on.

I am counting calories and carbs now.. for a week or two, as I have to get back into the groove of how much I can actually eat. LC is great but as it is a fatty diet I have to be careful about the calories too… as for me calories count too.. I can get carried away with Mac nuts and I LOVE nice cheeses and nice cuts of beef.

This morning was a great shake..
I made one for Patrick

Almond Mocha Shake for Patrick1/4 C cream
1/4 C egg beaters1 espresso1 scoop whey protein powder
1 T (measure this) cocoa2 T roasted crushed almonds _use 14 almonds
1-3 drops of almond flavoringVanilla, chocolate divinci to taste – used SF Kahlua YUM!1 cup ice
Calories/Carbs:
Cream – 200/1.7
Eggbeaters – 30/1
Espresso – 0/.5
Scoop whey pro. 110/3
1 T Cocoa – 5/1
14 almonds – 97/1.3
442/8.5

It’s very filling. I am still not hungry and it’s 1pm! I drank this at 9:30am.
I want to keep my calories THIS week around 1000-1250 or so. I really want to get a couple of pounds off this week.

Feeling very good.. have plenty of energy (taking vitamins and lots of minerals)..
And drinking lots of liquids.

Making something simple and quick tonight, maybe bacon cheese burgers and a salad.
I am very motivated. I can’t wait until this summer.. I have to get my walking started again.
I need to also get into the habit of walking Suki each day.. I need to figure out a schedule.

I spent a couple of hours working on my menu list for this week, yesterday and printed out all the recipes.. made a grocery list and was going to go to the Grocery store and Patrick offered to go for me! OMG.. I was so thrilled.. He is so supportive.. I just am so lucky.. (he is too ; )
So I am all set for a great, on track week.

Life is good.

So far so EXHAUSTED!

2009-02-19T10:29:00.000-08:00

Well I am down 8.5 pounds!

I am drinking LOTS of water.. no really! LOTS and taking my magnesium and potassium. I am aware this is water weight as I burn up my glycogen stores.. but as of last night I am in Ketosis so now it’s fat that I am burning!

Ok..So YESTERDAY was a pretty good day. My appetite is still pretty strong so I allowed myself to sort of graze all day (all VLC). I had mostly meats and cheeses.. for right before bed I had an ounce of Mac Nuts.. I have to wait until very late to eat them.. sort of as a "dessert" because they really are SO good I just immediately want to eat more. I
Yesterday morning for breakfast I made my micro lacy swiss crackers. I LOVE them. I have finally got the deli to slice them exactly the right thickness (not too thick, not too thin)..I spray a plate with Pam.. lay a slice on it, sprinkle a bit of red pepper flakes and a dash of salt and micro for 2 min.. You have to work quick to get them off the plate but these are SO good..

I am making hot wings for dinner.. with a salad on the side (didn't have ANY veggies yesterday so looking forward to the salad) with a fennel bulb I got at Sweetbay. I LOVE fennel in my salad...
I use just a splash of balsamic vinegar and a little olive oil on it.. yum!

Got several new herbal teas.. one an apple and one a blueberry.. they both have 0 carbs listed. I am trying to cut back on the diet cokes and drink more herbal teas. So far I have not had much luck - had two diet cokes yesterday and two diet vernors.. but still drank lots of water..

TODAY is going to be a trial for my mood for sure! I am officially exhausted today. I knew to expect it..

I am eating VLC (very low carb) and I know it does this to me, I am only doing VLC for 3-4 weeks to kick these freaking cravings in the ass!

I sure wanted to just stay in bed, plus I am SO DEHYDRATED! I immediately drank a huge glass of ice water and in a few minutes I am going to put my glasses of water all over the house (I do this so that now matter what I am doing during the day I have water to drink in that room)..

I started taking potassium and magnesium the day I started back on LC – I am adding in the rest now.. (Vit C, an aspirin, chewable multi, and my 5HTP.) Had stopped taking 5HTP (plenty of sugar and carbs to keep my serotonin up before.. with all the junk!) but know that on LC it really helps me get over the first few weeks.

I can’t believe I lost that much weight that quickly (going to wait maybe until Sat. am to weigh again).. Ate a lot of roasted chicken wings last night.. sure there is weight just from the food and don't want to have any reason to feel down today at all!

I am so fortunate that I work from home. I count my blessings every day, it's amazing that I am able to do this. I am taking a few days off from my business just to try to hobble thru this time.. It is always very hard for me (the first 10 days or so back on LC).. I get the worst symptoms..

HEADACHES Good God! and even my old standby, BC powders, does not help.

I also get cold and then hot and cold and hot.. over and over.. Do any of you go thru that? It's so strange.I just make lots of hot tea and try to deal!.

Today is going to be a hard day I am afraid! I am SO TIRED! But I am still so blessed.

Something is different this time.

2009-02-16T06:16:00.000-08:00

I love Mondays,
There is something so "new" about a Monday. A good day to start "anew"...

I have actually had enough of this freaking fat.

It's insane that I keep on and on "trying".. and always failing.. oh.. I HAVE lost large amounts of weight before… but I just played around with keeping it off….

I realize now that I am addicted to sweets and most carbs. I can’t just have a "little".. bread. It just sets me off. I can eat a half of a box of cereal in one sitting.. I am so unhappy with the way I look and feel. It’s freaking insane. This is my drug of choice as much as any other addicted person. Sugar is evil for me. It takes away my self control.

I had lost 50 pounds a few months ago, I have gained thirty back.
I kept trying over and over. Well.. not really.

I know in actuality I am just "sort of trying", not doing. And …
Something has changed.

Patrick and I went thru our kitchen yesterday and got rid (sorry, I threw it away.. but it was cathertic in a way.. sort of a release of frustration) of probably $75 worth of food, anything that would not support us and they way we are going to eat from now on.. was in the trash.

It's almost as if I am resigned to this. I just don't care about anything anymore other than this weight. It is all I can focus on.

I don't care about my gem store, I don't care about keeping my house clean, I don't care about keeping up with my friends, I don’t care about what I might be "giving up" food wise either, I just don't freaking care anymore about any of it!

All I care about right now is doing this one thing I have been struggling with for freaking 10 years.

I have this sort of stillness inside now. I feel almost calm. Yes.. resigned is a good word to describe it.
You watch.
Something is different this time. Mark my words.

237pounds today - Stared Low Carb on the 14th @ 244pounds