REALLY Struggling...

The last two days.. my poor psyche has really been in turmoil...

Well I am laying in bed this morning (just bought an amazing bed from a Friend in Fernandina Beach and my sister Stacy and her husband JB loaded it up and hauled it to us.. thank you SO much you two! It’s the most amazing bed we have ever owned)..

Anyway I am laying there in bed thinking about my out of control eating was last night (pizza pig out) and how in the past with my attempts to lose weight and change my eating lifestyle, I just seem to give in when I get really hungry. It’s like I just throw a food temper tantrum.. like an incorrigible child. It’s really like that.

It makes since I guess since I am changing my mindset and setting limits and boundaries and changing something that has been fundamental (if also WRONG) in my life for a very long time (eating whatever I what, whenever I want in as much quantity as I want).. It’s like I am having another part of me trying to rebel against the changes I want to make. It's causing serious inner turmoil.

So this morning I was reading other's blogs to work on re-focusing my mind on my Raw food world and wow, thank you to the universe for showing me this blog entry from “The Raw Model” (link is here: http://rawmodelcom.blogspot.com/2007/05/add-in-good-stuff-now-worry-about.html )

This is the entry:


‘ADD THE GOOD STUFF IN NOW, WORRY ABOUT CUTTING THE BAD STUFF OUT LATER…’



“A big thing that I learned on my path to health with living foods was that the idea of sacrifice for health will not produce a healthy person, and certainly not a happy one.

Because I was working in New York at the time, I was really trying my best to immediately lose weight and develop more lean muscle. So I cut out everything bad. Or at least I attempted to. For a few weeks, I dropped ice cream, pizza, indian food, and falafels. I was doing two green smoothies a day, plus apples. I was losing weight fast, but in my mind I was suffering. I was still addicted to those foods, and by cutting myself off right away, the weak part of me was angry and resentful towards the disciplined part of me. I was going crazy, and I would reach an occasional breaking point.

Wandering the streets of the East Village like a drug fiend, I would walk into a pizza place and order two slices. After eating them too quickly, I would realize that I was yet to be satisfied. So next, I would get a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Soon after adding that whole pint to the pizza, I was starting to feel the food-coma setting in. I would return to my apartment and lay in bed, feeling guilty and bloated. I would swear that I would learn my lesson, but these episodes would continue off and on for months.

I wasn't in the proper mindstate yet. I was too worried about what I was cutting out, and not focusing on what I should have been adding in. This is the key. Don't focus on what you want to cut out right away. Of course cooked starches and cooked oils and refined sugar are horrible and should be completely eliminated from your body, but that will happen with time. As long as you continue to feel as if you are depriving yourself of these items, you won't be ready yet. What I am saying, is that the best path early on is to just add good things in, and the rest will work itself out with time. The body will know what is good, and the idea of canceling out your healing foods with garbage again will quickly lose its appeal.

So get your green juice in everyday. Get a green smoothie in your body everyday for breakfast. Make sure you eat a grapefruit, and one avocado a day is magic. Make a superfood smoothie with coconuts and raw chocolate and goji berries and bee pollen. Eat highly mineralized raw foods. If you still desire something else, go for it. But sooner, rather than later, you will shift towards 95-100% raw without having that feeling of regret and guilt and sacrifice.

I knew the truth...I had experienced the "raw high" after those first two weeks. Nevertheless...the old habits were ingrained in my mind, and I still desired the garbage. Now, I can honestly say that I eat everything that I want. The only difference is this: What I want now isn't what I used to want. I don't miss the pizza, the burgers, the eggs and pancakes. Thats not even food in my mind anymore. I don't want it like I used to. And this will happen to you as well. Just add in the goodies, and the rest will take care of itself.

Peace and love ALL WAYS...

Anthony”


Also this reply to his post is right on:

Bless you for sharing this! It's exactly this kind of honesty that helps people that are excited about raw truly transform into people that are freed from food addictions. Raw Dogma can be really intense and misleading to the seeker. It is entirely possible to feel nutritionally elated and at the same time experience a sort of spiritual bankruptcy 'cause your mental is just not on.

Suddenly stripping yourself of all your comfort foods leaves alot of the psyche bared and ready to rumble. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I see alot of parallels between the two. Just stopping drinking is nearly impossible w/o a spiritually based program of recovery running in tandem. And if you do succeed in staying dry you're likely miserable and angry, seeing as you've just lost the only coping mechanism you had.

I find food issues to be surprisingly similar...


I could not have said it any better.. THIS is what I am dealing with right now.. I am divided in my psyche.




I WANT and need to eat Raw but my inner child is revolting. I have to be less hard on myself and take it more slow…

This is also very enlightening.. I have to STOP kicking myself and just go with the transition as I can and as it comes. I can continually re-focus back on Raw as often as I need to but most important is that I just ease up on myself.