What is this? ENERGY?!

Today is a great day.. I am down another pound 231! (got to stop getting on the scale every day now!) That is 13 pounds in under two weeks!

Gonna be a busy day, have to go to the post office, drycleaners, vet (to pick up Suki’s meds) and Walmart (yech – hate Walmart – but have to buy a printer cartridge and best buy is like 45min from here while Walmart is three blocks.. but still yech.)

Doing good, really good.

It’s 10:30am and I am still not hungry! How amazing.
Did good, under 1200 calories yesterday.. need to do that again!

So I DID allot of things I have been putting off today!
I went to the PO, the dry cleaners the Vet and Walmart (yech) to get the printer cartridge.

I am SO glad I got all this done, I feel very good about getting out of the house and accomplishing something. I am feeling like I have good energy.

While I was running around I saw all these people enjoying the FL sunshine. Some girls in skirts and sundresses and shorts. I am here, wearing all black because I am so self conscious and my legs, well my thighs I swear they carry half my freaking fat.

I WANT to have cute skirts and sundresses to wear, things that are comfortable like this white gauze skirt that I want from Athleta:



Maybe I really need to get to making (sewing) more stuff. OR maybe I need to order that skirt BECAUSE I will be able to wear it by July!

I just want to be cute, comfy and cool this summer.. I KNOW I am not going to lose all my weight by summer.. BUT I can certainly be comfortable and stop wearing all the freaking BLACK!

Well.. loving this energy. It's interesting I don't think I ever got this before on Atkins.. I AM taking more minerals now.. I bet that is making a difference.

What a great day so far!

Weighed this morning.. (couldn't help myself!) 232

That means I have lost 12# in 11 days.. this new induction is doing a good job.


Doing better calorie wise.

Yesterday for lunch I had a chicken breast with cheese and bacon and mushrooms (leftover Faux Alice Springs Chicken) and ate about 2/3 of it and decided to put it down and see if in a few min. I was full.. and I was! I put the rest of the plate in the fridge deciding I would eat the rest later and just saw it this morning. I felt very proud of myself.

This morning for breakfast I made Patrick the Mocha Almond shake he loves.. (I love it too!) and I really wanted on too, I started to make myself one and then thought.. well 450 calories .. that should be a weekend breakfast not right now.. it’s a bit of a splurge. I am very proud of myself. I am actually not really hungry right now..


I am going to start doing yoga! I got a couple of beginner DVD's (I will let you know what I think of them) ordered and I purchesed a new tank and a top to go over it AND these cool black Fold Down waist yoga pants and a new mat yesterday.

Here are pix of the pants (but the red is black on mine, still has a nice wide fold down waist to help hid SOME of my tummy) and my new top.. XXL (sz 20) should fit fine.



I found out that the studio has a $20 for one week introduction rate and I am going to do that.. maybe try three days the first week. I am not going to kid myself, I have heard it’s HARD and they do it in a 105 degree room with high humidity to aid you sweating out toxins. One of the sites said:

"The heated environment is initially very challenging, helping to increase will power and mental strength."

I will have to be careful and make sure I am totally hydrated when I go. I can use more mental strenth!

I have been taking more potassium and magnesium than I had in the past and I am not having the low energy this time around. Its amazing.

I just had 25 almonds and an EAS shake (around 11:30am) and I am perfectly full.. that is around 283 Calories.. that is a good amt. Of calories for lunch.

Well I just had to write what a great day I am having.. I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel "happy".. I feel like a fog has lifted.. I have energy, I really think I was depressed and didn’t realize it that much.

This afternoon I was playing with Suki in the back yard and just laughing my ass off.. he is such a joy and I am SO glad we got him. I was sitting out you my lounge chair and the sun felt nice and he was fun/crazy running all over and we were playing fetch and I just thought.. wow.. I am feeling treat.. the laughter felt so nice. The sun felt so good that I laid down for a minute and just enjoyed how lucky I am.

I called a yoga studio up in Clermont and I am going to start going. I think as soon as my mat and new top/pants come in I will sign up for a couple of private lessons and then start going.

I need to start walking suki. I would today but we just took his harness off and he was a little chaffed under his leg, I need to let that heal a couple of days.. Maybe Sat,. Patrick and I can take him for a nice walk.

Red Velvet Cake.. I adore/hate you...

Well today so far has been good.. my energy is good and my mood is good.

Dinner last night I made my own version of "Alice Springs Chicken" from Outback.
I rubbed four chicken breasts (made double batch so we could have lunch next day) with a chicken garlic herb spice several hours before I was cooking them.

Then just cooked some bacon (five slices for two breasts) and sauteed a half jar of mushrooms in the fat then melted some butter in the leftover bacon fat and sauteed the spiced up chicken breasts. I measured one ounce of sharp cheddar for me ( I can get carried away with cheese!) and just topped the chicken with mushrooms, cheese and crumbled bacon. It was REALLY good. I was actually surprised how good the chicken was with the spice on it.

This morning I made some sage sausage and eggs for Patrick. The sausage was enough for me. Although it is noon now and I am hungry… I am going to plan on eating lunch closer to 1pm so I can space out my food.. I remember when I made that mental decision I thought how cool it is to have control over my appetite. I am hungry but not starving! I want to get under 1200 calories today so I am spacing my food out a bit more.

I put a roast in the crockpot for tonight, not sure but I think I will do mashed cali with cheese to go with.. also need to make some "Ooopsies" (from Cleo on LowCarbFriends.com) to use with some of the leftover roast tomorrow for lunch.

I was looking on Etsy for some Red Velvet Cupcakes for my Uncle Ken (he is going thru Chemo and I really think something sweet will be nice for him) I love Red Velvet Cake! Good God it’s my favorite…

I know I do good on LC and I have decided THIS is the way I am going to finally get this weight off, but WOW they looked good.

I was thinking I would REALLY love one right now.. and then just thought about smearing it on my thighs, might as well, it just ends up there (one of mom’s fav. visualizations to motivate someone to diet, I rather think it works!).. and the craving left (almost)..

Love you Uncle Ken. Thinking about you allot right now. Hang tight, sugar is on it's way!


Calories/Carbs: 1347 – 13

Some Motivational Thoughts...

I am putting together a "motivation" list for myself for when the inevitable temptation comes and thought I would post some of it here for anyone that needs a bit of a push back on track.This is all from my older journals:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love this – this is how I feel about my weight loss.. I have never given up, never will:

“When flowing water...meets with obstacles on its path, a blockage in its journey, it slows down a bit, then It increases in volume and strength, filling up in front of the obstacle and eventually spilling and rushing past it... “I ching

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What if you had a wish you could actually make happen, a dream that you could, through your own will and desire make come true”… well I have a wish to be toned and svelte and strong and lean… and I can, and will, through my own force of desire, make it come true… I absolutely will.

REMEMBER THAT SUCCESS BREEDS SUCCESS… KEEP IT UP!

January 2, 2007

I am starting over RIGHT NOW… RIGHT NOW is my new beginning.

"To thine own self be true."

Of all the people in the world you can lie to, the worst one is myself. To trust anyone, I must first be able to trust myself, the most devastating thing I can do to myself, is not keep my VERY OWN promises... There are many reasons why I lie to myself. Among them is simple desire to avoid a confrontation with my true self The nice thing about being true to yourself is that it can have the same domino effect that lying does. One truth leads to another, which ultimately leads to a new trust and love for yourself. Your accomplishments start piling up, fat flies off, and more fat flies off, and my fitness levels increase by leaps and bounds.

ITS THE SNOWBALL EFFECT REMEMBER!!!

What you're doing takes on its own life, and you wake up one day and find that you're a completely different person. A person you love, love LOVE. A person you missed for many years. A person who can do absolutely anything. A strong, exciting, committed person…Isn't that what life's all about~ LIVING!

March 2, 2008

“WELL IT IS OFFICIAL… I HAVE TO BUY NEW JEANS… THESE (MY OLD FAVORITES, SO SOFT) ARE WAY TOO BIG, I CAN ROLL THE WAIST DOWN 3 TIMES AND I CAN GRAB ABOUT 2 1/2 INCHES OF EXTRA FABRIC IN THE THIGHS.. AND THEY LOOK BAD, A LITTLE BAGGY IS OK, BUT THESE LOOK TERRIBLE AND THEY WERE DRIED A VERY LONG TIME IN THE DRYER…BYE BYE MY OLD FAVORITE JEANS…TIME FOR SOME NEW FAVORITE JEANS!!!

”from One Phat Man.com
“You can change your life for the better right now, starting right this very minute.. if only you want to. Or, you can take the alternative route, and live in denial: eating everything in sight and sitting on your huge rear all day and pretending that your knees really don't hurt that bad or that your lower back is fine, and the numb tingling in your rear is perfectly normal? the pounding of your heart after walking across a large room is fine or that you didn't really want to ride roller coasters ever again or that people aren't really staring at you or that you don't really mind getting all your clothes at that special store.~! I missed a goodly chunk of my youth - my twenties - because I was too fat, and I'm doing my best to make up for that now. That's why I'm doing things like playing in the park, throwing footballs, and riding my daughter's scooter. Because I could not, and then I could. And can. And do. I would wager that for the vast majority of my large readers, it's not too late to recapture some of that lost youth, if only you want to. Do you want to? Nothing makes you feel quite as free as playing like a kid again - you forget all about the troubles that life hands you. That freedom is yours for the taking, if you want it. “
Love him!

May 19, 2008I HAVE DECIDED TO RAISE MY STANDARDS FOR MYSELF.. NO LONGER WILL I LET LIFE PASS ME BY AND SIT ON THE SIDE LINES.. .I AM GOING TO BECOME A VERY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN MY OWN LIFE, I AM GOING TO RIDE THAT BIKE, GO DANCING, GO PARA SAILING, GO JET SKIING, INLINE SKATING, RIDE THAT ROLLER COASTER, GO TO THE BEACH OR POOL, FLIRT AND BE FLIRTED WITH, AND ANY D*MN THING ELSE THAT TURNS ME ON.. .I AM NO LONGER GOING TO EAT MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE OR INTO WORSE AND WORSE HEALTH. I AM GOING TO LIVE LIFE!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THERE IS NO RACE AND THERE IS NO FINISH LINE.. JUST YOUR LIFE…Time is going to go by, might as well use it to your advantage...




calories today: 1530 - carbs - 23.8

Feel great this AM

down another half a pound.. not putting official weights down until Mondays.. but it was cool to see.. also day four today of my TOM.. so some more weight may still come off..

VERY, very thirsty!
Have a huge glass of ice water and NEED to do my "glass of water in every room" today.. This works so good for me because I work at home and no matter where I am in the house.. THERE is a glass of water.

Food today is going to be probably also around 1300 or so.
trying for that anyway.

Tonight might be tough...

Well it's 7:30 and Patrick should be home soon.
I am cooking him a burger and bacon and cheese and mushrooms and adding the rest of the loaded green beans to his plate.. but I have already reached 1200 calories for the day and I want to only consume 100 more.

SO I think I will have a "coke float".. a diet coke with 2 Tablespoons heavy cream..
It will be a nice treat and only 1 carb.

Got to get cooking!
It's been a good day.

Edited>>>
Well I did good with the coke float but was so hungry I actually had 1 oz (i was good and weighed them) of mac nuts. for an additional 200 cal. so my cal/carbs today were actually:



total today:
1444 Calories - 20 Carbs

Life is Good

Official Weigh In.. Monday, Feb. 23-2009
233#


Well I am down 11 pounds.. My first week of induction was good.. Starting my second week now. I am a few days into my TOM so I am sure I am actually down at least another pound…
I know this weight loss this quickly sounds great but in actuality it was all water as I was retaining water very badly. I can finally get my wedding ring back on.

I am counting calories and carbs now.. for a week or two, as I have to get back into the groove of how much I can actually eat. LC is great but as it is a fatty diet I have to be careful about the calories too… as for me calories count too.. I can get carried away with Mac nuts and I LOVE nice cheeses and nice cuts of beef.

This morning was a great shake..
I made one for Patrick


Almond Mocha Shake for Patrick1/4 C cream
1/4 C egg beaters1 espresso1 scoop whey protein powder
1 T (measure this) cocoa2 T roasted crushed almonds _use 14 almonds
1-3 drops of almond flavoringVanilla, chocolate divinci to taste – used SF Kahlua YUM!1 cup ice
Calories/Carbs:
Cream – 200/1.7
Eggbeaters – 30/1
Espresso – 0/.5
Scoop whey pro. 110/3
1 T Cocoa – 5/1
14 almonds – 97/1.3
442/8.5


It’s very filling. I am still not hungry and it’s 1pm! I drank this at 9:30am.
I want to keep my calories THIS week around 1000-1250 or so. I really want to get a couple of pounds off this week.

Feeling very good.. have plenty of energy (taking vitamins and lots of minerals)..
And drinking lots of liquids.

Making something simple and quick tonight, maybe bacon cheese burgers and a salad.
I am very motivated. I can’t wait until this summer.. I have to get my walking started again.
I need to also get into the habit of walking Suki each day.. I need to figure out a schedule.

I spent a couple of hours working on my menu list for this week, yesterday and printed out all the recipes.. made a grocery list and was going to go to the Grocery store and Patrick offered to go for me! OMG.. I was so thrilled.. He is so supportive.. I just am so lucky.. (he is too ; )
So I am all set for a great, on track week.


Life is good.

So far so EXHAUSTED!

Well I am down 8.5 pounds!

I am drinking LOTS of water.. no really! LOTS and taking my magnesium and potassium. I am aware this is water weight as I burn up my glycogen stores.. but as of last night I am in Ketosis so now it’s fat that I am burning!


Ok..So YESTERDAY was a pretty good day. My appetite is still pretty strong so I allowed myself to sort of graze all day (all VLC). I had mostly meats and cheeses.. for right before bed I had an ounce of Mac Nuts.. I have to wait until very late to eat them.. sort of as a "dessert" because they really are SO good I just immediately want to eat more. I
Yesterday morning for breakfast I made my micro lacy swiss crackers. I LOVE them. I have finally got the deli to slice them exactly the right thickness (not too thick, not too thin)..I spray a plate with Pam.. lay a slice on it, sprinkle a bit of red pepper flakes and a dash of salt and micro for 2 min.. You have to work quick to get them off the plate but these are SO good..

I am making hot wings for dinner.. with a salad on the side (didn't have ANY veggies yesterday so looking forward to the salad) with a fennel bulb I got at Sweetbay. I LOVE fennel in my salad...
I use just a splash of balsamic vinegar and a little olive oil on it.. yum!

Got several new herbal teas.. one an apple and one a blueberry.. they both have 0 carbs listed. I am trying to cut back on the diet cokes and drink more herbal teas. So far I have not had much luck - had two diet cokes yesterday and two diet vernors.. but still drank lots of water..

TODAY is going to be a trial for my mood for sure! I am officially exhausted today. I knew to expect it..

I am eating VLC (very low carb) and I know it does this to me, I am only doing VLC for 3-4 weeks to kick these freaking cravings in the ass!

I sure wanted to just stay in bed, plus I am SO DEHYDRATED! I immediately drank a huge glass of ice water and in a few minutes I am going to put my glasses of water all over the house (I do this so that now matter what I am doing during the day I have water to drink in that room)..

I started taking potassium and magnesium the day I started back on LC – I am adding in the rest now.. (Vit C, an aspirin, chewable multi, and my 5HTP.) Had stopped taking 5HTP (plenty of sugar and carbs to keep my serotonin up before.. with all the junk!) but know that on LC it really helps me get over the first few weeks.

I can’t believe I lost that much weight that quickly (going to wait maybe until Sat. am to weigh again).. Ate a lot of roasted chicken wings last night.. sure there is weight just from the food and don't want to have any reason to feel down today at all!

I am so fortunate that I work from home. I count my blessings every day, it's amazing that I am able to do this. I am taking a few days off from my business just to try to hobble thru this time.. It is always very hard for me (the first 10 days or so back on LC).. I get the worst symptoms..

HEADACHES Good God! and even my old standby, BC powders, does not help.

I also get cold and then hot and cold and hot.. over and over.. Do any of you go thru that? It's so strange.I just make lots of hot tea and try to deal!.

Today is going to be a hard day I am afraid! I am SO TIRED! But I am still so blessed.

Something is different this time.

I love Mondays,
There is something so "new" about a Monday. A good day to start "anew"...

I have actually had enough of this freaking fat.

It's insane that I keep on and on "trying".. and always failing.. oh.. I HAVE lost large amounts of weight before… but I just played around with keeping it off….

I realize now that I am addicted to sweets and most carbs. I can’t just have a "little".. bread. It just sets me off. I can eat a half of a box of cereal in one sitting.. I am so unhappy with the way I look and feel. It’s freaking insane. This is my drug of choice as much as any other addicted person. Sugar is evil for me. It takes away my self control.

I had lost 50 pounds a few months ago, I have gained thirty back.
I kept trying over and over. Well.. not really.

I know in actuality I am just "sort of trying", not doing. And …
Something has changed.

Patrick and I went thru our kitchen yesterday and got rid (sorry, I threw it away.. but it was cathertic in a way.. sort of a release of frustration) of probably $75 worth of food, anything that would not support us and they way we are going to eat from now on.. was in the trash.

It's almost as if I am resigned to this. I just don't care about anything anymore other than this weight. It is all I can focus on.

I don't care about my gem store, I don't care about keeping my house clean, I don't care about keeping up with my friends, I don’t care about what I might be "giving up" food wise either, I just don't freaking care anymore about any of it!

All I care about right now is doing this one thing I have been struggling with for freaking 10 years.

I have this sort of stillness inside now. I feel almost calm. Yes.. resigned is a good word to describe it.
You watch.
Something is different this time. Mark my words.



237pounds today - Stared Low Carb on the 14th @ 244pounds