RAW JUICE FEAST...

Starting juice feast.


Patrick and I went to Stacy’s (my sis) this weekend. We took their boat out. I had such a hard time getting on and off that boat while in the water.

It was really yet another sad/scary/pissing me off eye opener.

It was too hard because I am so fat. It was humiliating. I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes (I didn't - I have quit).

Then later at the hotel I was looking at myself in the mirror and my legs are horrid. They have fat bulges and ripples and I swear an area on the back of one of my legs looks like it has this huge damned fat LEDGE looking area on it.

It really opened my eyes. I have not seen my legs truly as they actually ARE in a long time. I LOOK at myself often but I never really see. It pretty much sucks arse.

I have to do this. I have to remember once and for all what I really ACTUALLY look like and DO THIS! I always seem to have the opposite of people with anorexia when looking in the mirror. I look at myself and see a much skinnier me. Not my true reality.

But it's just not a true image. I don’t want to live the rest of my life this way. I feel like throwing things I am so pissed off.


I AM STARTING A 10 DAY JUICE FAST/FEAST. I AM GOING TO DO THIS. I AM GOING TO BECOME A RAW VEGAN. I AM NOT, NOT, NOT GOING TO LIVE THE REST OF MY FREAKING LIFE IN THIS FAT BODY!

THIS IS ENDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOW!

I am going to start with watermelon and apples today.






LATER IN THE DAY...


It’s 20 till 1on and I am hungry so I made some tomato, ginger, spinach, cucumber, carrot, celery, beet juice. It’s good.

Food Today:

1 ½ Cantaloupe
tomato, ginger, spinach, cucumber, carrot, celery beet juice
1 orange in water with ice
Watermelon juice
Apple, cucumber, spinach juice
For dinner I had beet green, carrot, tomato, ½ beet, celery, cucumber, ginger and jalapeno juice.. it was nice and warm and good.


Today around 1:45 I went outside with a glass of icewater with 1 orange squeezed in it and read for a while. I am pretty sleepy so I sort of dozed a bit .. was out there an hour.. I really enjoy just getting a little sun. It's very indulgent and makes me feel guilty to spend time on myself.. that's sad..

There is so much I need to do around the house.

AND LATER...

right now (10 till 4pm) I am having some watermelon juice, man it's good.

I am so stoked to do this. I have what it takes to do this I know I do. This is important to me. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know it could get tough.. but I am going to do this. It is going to be a new beginning for me.



6:25pm..
I just made my fav. juice so far..
I used 1 pink lady apple, one green apple, half a bag of spinach and half a large cucumber.
It’s SO GOOD!

Making my V8 for dinner later.